Naming names in rush threads

33girl · #1 09-26-2002, 10:53 AM

Just something to think about...

One of the girls doing a rush thread said she didn't want to name names of groups, because she felt bad when someone would write "I'm so glad you're going back to XYZ!" and then she ended up not liking them, or when someone said "I'm disappointed you don't like ABC".

I know this is easier for me to say because there have only been a couple rush threads involving ASA, but even though we are excited at the prospect of new sisters, let's try to be a little more careful how we word things. These girls are feeling bad enough that they have to cut groups or get dropped by groups, especially if they belong to a poster on here that they like...let's not make it worse.

IowaHawkeye · #2 09-26-2002, 11:42 AM

I totally agree. While I don't mind at all if rushees use the names of sororities in their posts of the days events - I think we as actives and alums need to be supporting the fact that these fabulous women are going greek, period. We all know our chapters are different from school to school - so as long as a woman finds her home in greekdom, I'm happy for her

no matter the letter, greeks do it better!

violets · #3 09-26-2002, 12:03 PM

33girl,
Great post. I think we all do our "shameless plugs" in the spirit of fun and support, and as an alumna I love reading them, I think they're adorable. However, it's good for you to remind us that the threads are really for the pnms. These young women are very generous to share their experiences with us, at what is oftentimes a very hectic period for them, I'm absolutely certain that no one single GC poster would want to cause any of them an iota of undue stress.
So, in the spirit of Panhellenic sisterhood, I say;
GO GREEK!

valkyrie · #4 09-26-2002, 04:36 PM

33, I absolutely agree with you and I have been thinking the same thing. I personally get bored scanning through a ton of "Go XYZ" posts on rush threads and I just think that really nothing good can come of them. It's wonderful that everybody loves her organization, but -- what if, as mentioned, a rushee doesn't like XYZ? Worse yet, what if a rushee LOVES XYZ and gets cut by them -- and then has to read "Go XYZ" or "Here's my shameless plug for XYZ" in her thread? I would feel awful, which is why I never say it.

As for naming names, I still wish people would. It's much easier to follow, and honestly, I don't find the threads without names as interesting at all, not because I want to hear dirt about other organizations, bu because having a name to connect to a story really makes it relevant. I don't think anyone here is going to be offended by comments made tactfully. Of course, I'd be thrilled if every rushee loves Alpha Phi, but of course not everyone will and there is nothing wrong with that.

violets · #5 09-26-2002, 05:15 PM

valkyrie
You're so right about the "Go xyz" plugs in the threads. I hope that I have never made a pnm feel uncomfortable because of it.

In terms of the pnms naming names, yes, it's simply easier for us when we read them and it's always fun to see what kind of theme ADPi does on a different campus for skit night etc. But I think the no-names policy is about protecting the pnm rather than the mentioning of names offending anyone who is already a member of said sorority and who posts on GC. I don't think that's really even a factor. The pnms here have been sweet and generous and excited to a fault, and they've been tremendously careful in all of their posts, so you're very right when you say that none of us who are currently members would be offended, I don't think there has been anything written that would offend, and furthermore, I think we all have self-esteems healthy enough to not be bothered at all. But I also think that it's entirely reasonable that these lovely young women do what they think is appropriate to protect themselves, I've been told (via pm) some real horror stories of last year's recruitment and rush threads on GC. They made me so sad. Certain PNMs used names and said nothing at all hurtful, but clearly indicated which house they loved; this resulted in them being cut by everyone else during their recruitment. It was a brutal situation.
Most people who read this board never actually post anything, so someone reading these threads could ostensibly be the Rush Chair of XYZ sorority, at the University of My State. If Polly PNM says, she just doesn't "feel it" at XYZ, the rush chair may make a hasty decision based on that small piece of information. Sounds like a stretch yes, except that a situation very close to that has already occurred.

At any rate, like you, I adore these threads; I'm always so struck by the generosity of the pnms in sharing their experiences with us, even though they can occasionally be fraught with tension and disappointment along the way. Therefore, whatever information they feel comfortable with providing is more than enough for me. You're right again when you advised we should be supportive in going Greek in general, it's the least we can do for the women who post as they are already so kind and giving in their almost-daily posts of their rounds!

So although, it's easier for me to keep score with the rush threads that feature, Pi Phi, Tri-Sigma, Theta Phi and AST, I will certainly make do with House #1, 2, 3 & 4. As it is always all about the pnms.
Best recruitment wishes all,
and
Go Greek!
violets

AXO_MOM_3 · #6 09-26-2002, 06:37 PM

I agree that the shameless plugs are fun, but perhaps everyone (including myself) can tone it down a bit! I think we all know our chapters vary from campus to campus, and also know all girls are not always going to fit will with our particular house! I love reading these posts, and am excited to see all these new girls joining our wonderful Panhellenic system, no matter what organization they choose!
I also understand the girls wanting anonimity regarding houses, and the numbers work well for that. But I like to know where girls are returning too (even if they continue to keep party details anonymous after that), it just keeps things a little more interesting for me personally!

valkyrie · #7 09-26-2002, 07:19 PM

Violets, I do agree with everything you said (not to mention that you are so darn eloquent)! I totally support PNMs doing whatever they feel comfortable with doing, and if that's not mentioning names then great! I suppose I just thought that people weren't naming names so as not to offend, as I didn't realize that there had been problems in the past with people getting dropped because of posts -- that is awful, and of course I agree that PNMs are wise to try to avoid that.

justamom · #8 09-27-2002, 08:03 AM

This year GC is very different from last year. Many of the regular posters changed their signatures so they could post without ANY reference to their GLO. It was a way they could freely offer advice
without any point of reference to a particular GLO. Maybe that was a lot of effort for a small return, but if you are a member of ABC and ABC treats a number of PNMs negatively, you could say what was in your heart, perhaps-dump ABC or RUN from ABC. Likewise, if you have your sorority in your name, many felt GC PNMs might be slightly influenced because they identified in some small way with you and your GLO.
I would think there were times when actives from the university a PNM was seeking membership wanted to say something-DID say something. That would only be Kosher if it was generic and not affiliated wth a specific group. Hence, the "name change".

I don't know if that theory held any SIGNIFICANT degree of truth, but the general feeling was- if you were going to err, err on the side of caution. Still, if someone wants to dig up posts on particular sororities or posters affiliated with particular sororities, it isn't too difficult, just time consuming.

I think we've ALL been guilty-no use crying over spilt milk.

aephi alum · #9 09-27-2002, 09:33 AM

I admit I've done a little shameless plugging myself, and I hope I haven't made anyone uncomfortable...

Personally I think it's a good idea not to use names... these PNMs are being very generous in sharing their stories with us rush-thread-aholics, and I would hate to see them get cut for it (as has happened in the past when PNMs named names). Besides, it hurts to read in black and white "I couldn't stand XYZ" (insert name of your GLO here).

JAM - I actually hadn't noticed that... I'd have to change my screen name though