Sister wants to switch families?

[kdgmoney]

A girl from a different family wants to join the one that I am in. Our family's matriarch texted our fam group chat and said that she asked to join our fam and leave the one she is currently in. This is unheard of in my sorority, people don't just switch fams. Her big is graduating at the end of the year and she is a sophomore, but nobody in my fam wants to "adopt" her so she wouldn't have a fam line in our fam if she joined. A lot of us think that there is no reason for her to switch families, but there are a few people that are arguing with us. Any advice or thoughts?

[33girl]

Wow, no. Big no. Yes it sucks when your big graduates or leaves and you're alone...so that's when you take a little and YOU become the matriarch. The fact that she asked to join and not that someone in your family wanted to adopt her is all sorts of red flags IMO.

[FSUZeta]

I understand that this situation is unprecedented, but there are a few things that need to be considered. When I was a collegiate member, the families weren’t the big deal that they are now, so I don’t get the concern that this girl join your family. Can you explain it to me? Would she destroy your family if she joined? After all, she is your sister and was deemed worthy as such by the majority of your members. How is she going to take the potential rejection? Might she resign her membership if she doesn’t have a big? Is keeping her out of your family worth that?

In my chapter, if a pledge’s or new initiate’s big graduated or left for some reason, the new initiate typically was “adopted” by another sister. This might have been instigated be either person. When I was a senior, a new initiate asked me to be her big after her original big did not return for the spring semester. I was flattered. We held a candlelight circle and the adopter would blow out the candle and ask the adoptee if she would like to be her little. This would ordinarily only happen for girls without a little sister.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

I understand that this situation is unprecedented, but there are a few things that need to be considered. When I was a collegiate member, the families weren’t the big deal that they are now, so I don’t get the concern that this girl join your family. Can you explain it to me? Would she destroy your family if she joined? After all, she is your sister and was deemed worthy as such by the majority of your members. How is she going to take the potential rejection? Might she resign her membership if she doesn’t have a big? Is keeping her out of your family worth that?

In my chapter, if a pledge’s or new initiate’s big graduated or left for some reason, the new initiate typically was “adopted” by another sister. This might have been instigated be either person. When I was a senior, a new initiate asked me to be her big after her original big did not return for the spring semester. I was flattered. We held a candlelight circle and the adopter would blow out the candle and ask the adoptee if she would like to be her little. This would ordinarily only happen for girls without a little sister.

My experience is much the same as FSUZeta states above. Our New Member class was the largest on campus, and several of us had seniors as Big Sisters. We had informal "adoptions" the next year, and all went well.

Let's also remember that NOT having a Big Sister might lead the "orphan" to take a Little Sister.

[Pinkmagnolia921]

Originally Posted by kdgmoney

A girl from a different family wants to join the one that I am in. Our family's matriarch texted our fam group chat and said that she asked to join our fam and leave the one she is currently in. This is unheard of in my sorority, people don't just switch fams. Her big is graduating at the end of the year and she is a sophomore, but nobody in my fam wants to "adopt" her so she wouldn't have a fam line in our fam if she joined. A lot of us think that there is no reason for her to switch families, but there are a few people that are arguing with us. Any advice or thoughts?

Why doesn't anyone want to adopt her?

[33girl]

FSUZeta - my question is why no one in the OP's family (or any other family for that matter) wants to adopt her in the first place. Ie why has no one reached out to her, because it's usually the adopter reaching out to the adoptee - not the other way around.

Also, if she has other family members not in her direct line (like her big's twin or something) I question why she wants to leave that family.

[FSUZeta]

Right, lots of questions the OP could address. I am hoping my questions will be answered by the OP.

[Titchou]

Is there some reason she doesn't want to be the esenior member of her family?

[Titchou]

Is there some reason she doesn't want to be the esenior member of her family?

[Titchou]

Is there some reason she doesn't want to be the senior member of her family?