Disaffiliation

sunnydelight · #1 01-22-2006, 12:48 AM

Hello GC,

I have been a browser of this forum for a while now and I had a burning question to ask. PC-iness not required. I want honest opinions on this matter.

About 4 years ago, I joined a young, social national sorority that does not belong to any umbrella organizations (NPC, NPHC, IFC, NIC, NAFLO, etc). There was only one undergraduate chapter in the entire state. I deactivated my membership after a semester of being in the sorority. In the time that I was active, I did alot (if not, the most) for my chapter ie. community service, social events, etc.

Now you maybe wondering why I chose to disaffiliate? My heart was not in it. I should have depledged, but at the time I did think about, some personal matters came up which temporarily distracted me from depledging and I continued till the end. I didn't know that I was unhappy, because I kept myself pretty busy. It was when I stepped back that I became aware that I didnt really love the organization I was apart of, and I would be cheating myself and my organization for continuing to hold up the chirade. I do love the former sisters that I came to know, however. So I left! My disaffiliation is as if I never pledged the sorority in the first place. I feel that I have made the right decision for myself and the organization.

Now it's been about 3 years since my departure, and I've been doing research (properly) and I am interested in a GLO org in specific in the grad level for the right reasons.

Will my undergraduate past come back to haunt me? Should I disclose that I "used" to be a member of a social org in undergrad or should I practice the "Answer only when asked" policy?

PS: I am considering waiting 2 more years to pursue, FYI.

sorry for the essay! Feel free to PM if you must!

ladygreek · #2 01-22-2006, 01:05 AM

It will depend on the rules of that BGLO. I suggest you visit its national website.

sunnydelight · #3 01-22-2006, 01:54 AM

ladygreek,

I have, and i've looked for this answer in many places (short of asking members) but this is my last resort.

I have also done searchs on this forum, but this issue is a little bit different than what came up on my searches.

any help or discussion will prove useful. Thanks in advance!

Edited for more clarification:
my intentions are not to gain more knowledge on membership persay but more on a general sense that I disaffiliated from a sorority and wanting to join another sorority.

#4 01-22-2006, 02:41 AM

The fact that you can't find it online or on their website might be that way for a reason. Of course you won't find a website that'll tell you "you better fess up about any past Greek affiliations or else we won't consider you for membership".

Given the nature of your situation and the fact that many NPHC members believe in DISCRETION, I really doubt you'll get much response here other than pointing you in a general direction. While GC is a WONDERFUL avenue for resources and advice, it's been my observation (both from interaction with NPHC members here on GreekChat and IRL) that sometimes it's not the most appropriate place to seek answers, especially about membership. Actually, it's not appropriate at all.

I'm not trying to be mean at all. That's just how it is.

I think you should just investigate the issue again on your own 2 years from now. You might feel comfortable more with one side of the issue than you do now.

sunnydelight · #5 01-22-2006, 02:52 AM

OTW, thank you for your response. After reviewing my initial post, I can see why I may seem indiscreet.

Let me word this differently:

As a greek, how would you feel about someone in my situation? Would I seem disloyal to my previous organization?

In fact, anyone from any org can answer this for me.

ladygreek · #6 01-22-2006, 03:59 AM

Sunnydelight,
Here is what bothers me about your question. To gain an invitation to a NPHC sorority, someone who knows you well must vouch for you. It seems to me that you should have such a person in your life to whom you can ask the question. If you don't, then that is one of the things on which you need to be concentrating.

tunatartare · #7 01-22-2006, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sunnydelight
As a greek, how would you feel about someone in my situation? Would I seem disloyal to my previous organization?

In fact, anyone from any org can answer this for me.

I'm from a local sorority, so I can't tell you anything about the way that NPHC sororities work nor am I going to attempt to try to. Personally, if it were my sorority, I know that it would certainly raise a few eyebrows and people would be suspicious. The way I see it, and I'm sure others will as well, is if you quit your previous sorority, what's going to stop you from quitting mine?

texas*princess · #8 01-22-2006, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KLPDaisy
I'm from a local sorority, so I can't tell you anything about the way that NPHC sororities work nor am I going to attempt to try to. Personally, if it were my sorority, I know that it would certainly raise a few eyebrows and people would be suspicious. The way I see it, and I'm sure others will as well, is if you quit your previous sorority, what's going to stop you from quitting mine?

While there is that general "if you quit another one, what's going to stop you from quitting mine" feeling, I'd venture to say not everyone is like it.

When I was a freshman @ my first school I joined a local sorority b/c it was an all-local campus. A year or so later I did dissaffiliate (actually 3/4 of the chapter did all at once) but I didn't leave because I was bored with it, or I didn't like the people. I left b/c there was a lot of crazy stuff going on that didn't need to be there. When the president of a chapter fixes votes and elections, I don't know about you, but that kinda pissed me off. That doesn't have any place in a sisterhood, and I didn't want to be a part of that.

A couple of years later when I transferred to another school, I found the house for me. I was honest with them and they didn't shun me. I found a sorority that I could finally call home for life.

The same happened with all of the other girls too.. they all found NPC homes as well and they were all upfront about what happened in the past.

Granted, this is NPC, and NOT NPHC, and I know that those are very distinctly different.

Jimmy Choo · #9 01-22-2006, 02:05 PM

Sunny

If you are trying to affliate with an NPC org, granted each group has its own requirements, but the one common thread is that you've are not a member of another NPC org. If your former sorority is infact not affliated with NPC, then you are fine from that respect. As for the fact that you disaffliated from it.... that's a tough one. That can raise eyebrows for sure. Just as you meet and greet with the GLO's that your interested in just be as honest as you feel you need to be. I wouldn't exactly let it be the first thing you say but if someone asks, just be honest and tell them it didn't work out, you realized you weren't home. I know that may not be the best advice but that's what I would do.

AB