More thoughts from an alum

[jh124]

I know there's a bunch of stuff on Pride Online about this, but I thought I'd post here as well. I saw a thread in another forum that asked about keeping alumnae involved. Here are some suggestions from me. Feel free to add to them (or tell me I'm expecting too much from the chapter):

~Don't send invites to homecoming festivities the week before. "Please come to the brunch that are having in your honor". Ok, well if you really wanted me there, you'd give me at least three weeks notice.

~Please don't contact me only when you want money. I would love to get a quarterly, semi-annual, or annual newsletter. We get one annual letter in August telling us a few accomplishments, then a two paragraph plea for money. I don't doubt they need it. I would be much happier to give it if I felt they cultivated me as an asset vs eyeing me as a cash cow.

~If I do send you a check, I would appreciate a thank you. Yes, what I can afford to send probably isn't as much as you hoped I would. But a check is a check. A cancelled check appears to be the only indication I will ever get that I sent something. It doesn't take a lot to write "Dear Sister, thank you for your donation to our chapter. We plan to combine your contributions with others to purchase a new living room set." A little appreciation goes a long way.

~Please don't let me feel alienated when I do visit the chapter. I live far, far away from the house. I was back to visit a few years ago and the girls made polite chit chat, then went back to their groups. I felt not exactly unwanted, but sort of like people could care less whether or not I was there - not that I expected to be entertained. I could be a helpful career source for someone, but you'll never know...

~It seems as if actives don't realize the demands that we alum have on us. I don't expect them to understand exactly what our lives are like, but I do think it's not unrealistic to schedule activities ahead of time. We have jobs, husbands, children, and appointments that we need to schedule around. This year, I got my invite to homecoming on the day of Perhaps they figure I live too far away, so why bother?

Just some ideas. I realize they sound kind of nitpicky, and I'm sure most chapters already address many of the things I have listed. OTOH, have I left anything out?

[adpialumcsuc]

I am sorry that you feel that way about our chapter. I know that when I go back I don't feel that way, but I still love Chico and go back as much as I can even if I am only passing through town. However, this year I too got my notice late.

[jh124]

I am sorry that you feel that way about our chapter.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't an attack on our chapter. I love the girls and had the best time there. However, I live 3,000 miles away and can't drop everything to run to Chico because I got an invite to homecoming the week of. It's a fact of life. I would love to go to events, I would love to get updates about the chapter and alumni, I would love to give them money. But the only time I hear from them (other than my annual homecoming invite that always arrives too late) is the pre-rush "please send us a check letter". I have sent checks and I have never gotten a thank you. My sisters and I have talked about meeting in Chico for a homecoming - but that involves buying plane tickets and making hotel reservations. That's very expensive at the last minute.

When I used to live closer and wasn't married and didn't have a 9-5 job, I was able to visit more often. Things felt awkward after all the girls I knew left. I'm usually back in California to see my family once a year. I try to visit friends in Chico, and I always drive my husband by the ADPi house. We stopped a few years ago, but the girl who answered the door was kind of abrupt. I don't blame her - I wouldn't want strangers to come into my home. So that was my last visit.

When I was a senior, as an active, I tried to suggest that we put together an annual newsletter for the chapter. Update alums on what was going on with the chapter and each other. Nothing fancy, just something photocopied on paper. My idea didn't go over well.

My point of this post was for chapters to give some notice for activities, say thanks when alums do nice things for them, and strive to make them feel welcome in a home that used to be theirs. It doesn't matter if it's Chico, San Diego, Texas Tech, or George Washington.

[lmcsuc]

Hi Jh124,
I can understand what you are saying about our chapter. We don't exactely have a strong alumnae chair support, but our deltas do try to get a hold of people, but as college girls do, things come up and things tend to lag at times. I have to agree with adpialumcsuc that I too got my invitiation way too late, but I went anyway. Hey some girls didn't even get them! I knew when it was and I made plans a month before to be up there during that time. I know it shouldn't be our responisbility to contact people in this situation but it does make for hurt feelings. I will pass this info on to the current president and alumnae chair of Eta Rho, to make sure that this doesn't keep happening and hopefully next year they will learn from this. Trust me, you aren't the only alumnae frustrated.
I hope that next year you will be there and I hope that you will remember ADPI as it has always been for you.
Thanks!

[WLFEO]

You could start an alumnae newsletter yourself if you want. The easiest (and most cost effective) is to do one on-line. Just start with the email addresses of those you know, send them an email asking them to give you more, and before you know it, you'll have tons.

The alumnae newsletter could be mostly about the alumnae (births, weddings, ADPi-owned business, newsy items, etc.) but you could also ask the chapter to submit a little bit each time.

That way the alumnae feel they know something going on in the chapter, and they'll be more willing to help in the future if asked. It doesn't matter that you live far away- I know of a chapter in TX who has an alumna who does this and the alumna lives in Seattle. She usually sends out notices asking for news a couple weeks before the newsletter comes out.

Some chapters generate these newsletters from the collegiate alumnae-relations chair, but I think it's fine to do one on your own if your chapter isn't doing that themselves. One chapter highlights different past presidents each month- a "Where are they now?" type of thing.

I know it sounds like a lot of work, but it sounds like you're the type of person who cares about her chapter and would rather take action than just complain.