Panhellenic Spirit of the Rule

[andapanda]

alright, so we have an issue on our campus about a chapter not maintaining "the spirit of the rule" during recruitment. in being a past recruitment chair and chatting with the recent one, it hasn't seemed to change one bit.

for example, according to our current recruitment chair, this chapter during an open forum session told the pnms to go over to another chapter and ask what their GPA was and see the difference between them and us. to me, that is very unpanhellenic and i'm honestly not surprised that it happened.

another instance is their ways of flaunting their "traditions" of being the best on campus. now you can brag all you want about trophies and what not, but when it is on a tshirt for everyone to see and when it deals directly with recruitment, I believe that the spirit of the rule should have come into effect.

I think the largest problem standing in the way is that this chapter seems to dominate the one position on panhellenic that is most important when implementing the "spirit of the rule" and things seem to be shoved under the carpet.

I don't know if it is just me, but I see a huge problem where this is concerned especially when there are 4 other chapters on campus that are just as good as this specific one, but they can't show it because they are constantly dominated by dealing with the issues and problems the "perfect" chapter brings.

any suggestions/thoughts/ideas??

[Glitter650]

Well.... we always know each others' GPA on our campus anyway so that wouldn't be a big deal... BUT I do see how them telling them to go ask and do that is kinda unpanhellenic... I mean if you feel strongly about it and witnessed it (or know someone who did) have your Pres. write up an infraction... or talk to the Panhel. advisor... Do events at your Panhel. meetings to try and strenthen the bond and explain the purpose of Pahellenic. I plan to bring the Delta Zeta Tau Alpha thread to the next panhell. meeting at my campus and read some of it because it exemplifies EXACTLY why panhellenic exists and it seems that it worked out beautifully for them.

[33girl]

Do you mean they were wearing t-shirts that had things like "homecoming queen 50 years in a row, most members, highest GPA" written on the t-shirt during rush? If so that's pretty obnoxious, but they could be just as obnoxious on their website. Still, it's not out of the ordinary for schools to have rules about sorority members not wearing letters or "identifying articles" (i.e. party shirts, old bid day shirts) while rush is taking place. Maybe something like that should be instituted.

As far as the grade thing, definitely NOT cool. I don't know why anyone would join a group who acts like that, quite frankly...

[shadokat]

Instead of writing here about the problems that the Panhellenic has in terms of following rules, you need to get a member of your sorority into that position of "power" on the Panhellenic. If you use rotation, this shouldn't be an issue. If you're electing these positions, then it's high time you or someone in your chapter ran to make things happen.

[PsychTau]

Don't fight every little obnoxious thing they do.

I know....someone might misread that. I'm NOT saying to just lie down and let them walk all over you. Take the GPA example for instance. It's easy to find out group GPAs...it's probably published somewhere on the school's website or in a handbook or something. So, instead of wasting all of your energy worrying about how they pointed out their higher GPA (because in recruitment, OF COURSE you're gonna point out what you're the best at....), turn your energy onto either raising your GPA, or not being as snotty as them, or working to be the best in something else. If they have a higher GPA requirement, some wonderful, worthwhile girls are automatically going to get cut from that group. They could be a good addition to your group, but you gotta focus on something else you can offer them.

Chances are they know they've got everyone else in a tizzy over their tactics, and it keeps the focus on them and away from YOUR chapter. If you refuse to give them that attention and energy, they dynamics will change. If they are the only sorority doing this stuff and everyone else is sick of it and refuses to respond to it, pretty soon they'll be the outlier...the other groups will have a great bond and be able to draw a majority of the PNMs in because of that.

Now, if they are blatantly breaking a recruitment rule, that's a different story not addressed in this post.

for example, according to our current recruitment chair, this chapter during an open forum session told the pnms to go over to another chapter and ask what their GPA was and see the difference between them and us. to me, that is very unpanhellenic and i'm honestly not surprised that it happened.

If it bothers your group to have someone compare the difference between your GPA and theirs, you've got some work to do on your GPA. Quit focusing on what you cannot change (their behavior) and focus on what you can change (your behavior).

And if you just want to stoop to that obnoxious level, find out how many study hall hours they require in order to keep that GPA. If they militantly require 3 study hall hours each night, and your group doesn't, point out how your group values the different study habits of its members and encourages them to succeed on their own, rather than requiring so much time from them.

But I would take the focus off them. They're upsetting the apple cart, they know it, and that gives them a perceived power advantage. Don't feed into that.

PsychTau

[33girl]

Originally posted by PsychTau
If it bothers your group to have someone compare the difference between your GPA and theirs, you've got some work to do on your GPA. Quit focusing on what you cannot change (their behavior) and focus on what you can change (your behavior).

I don't quite agree with that. Whether the obnoxious chapter's GPA is highest, lowest, whatever...you're NOT supposed to talk about other sororities, good or bad, during rush. You're supposed to talk up your own sorority, not talk the others down, even if it is an open forum.

[PsychTau]

Originally posted by 33girl
I don't quite agree with that. Whether the obnoxious chapter's GPA is highest, lowest, whatever...you're NOT supposed to talk about other sororities, good or bad, during rush. You're supposed to talk up your own sorority, not talk the others down, even if it is an open forum.

I guess it depends on the statement and how it was worded. If it was...

"Our chapter GPA is the highest on campus"--I don't see that as an infraction. Merely a statement of fact.

"Our chapter GPA is higher than XYZ's"--could have been stated better, but then again, I don't think it's an obvious infraction

"Well, if you want to know about XYZ's GPA, you need to go ask them. Then compare the two answers."--Actually within the recruitment rules because they aren't answering questions about XYZ, they're referring the person to XYZ to get the info and make up their own mind. Of course, tone of voice (which I have no knowledge of) could definitely change the intent of this statement.

From what anapanda said....

for example, according to our current recruitment chair, this chapter during an open forum session told the pnms to go over to another chapter and ask what their GPA was and see the difference between them and us.

It doesn't sound like the girls in question were "talking about another sorority". It sounds like they were telling PNMs to get the info on their own (by going to ask XYZ about their GPA) and then see the difference. Maybe the PNM asked "What's the difference in your GPA and XYZs GPA?" Going by the words alone (and not tone of voice, inflection, implied intent, etc.), the sorority member gave an appropriate answer. Granted, it could have been worded a little better, but no one has control of that now.

My point is that if it wasn't a clear infraction, don't let people see you get tense about it. Focus your energy on what you can control, not what you can't. If your group (XYZ in this case) were in the same room during the open forum and had PNMs marching over saying "ABC told me to come ask you about your GPA so I can compare the two" and your nonverbal reaction is to tense up and get bothered by that, you're going to send a message to that PNM that you're threatened by ABC for some reason. You may answer the GPA question with less confidence, or stumble through your answer, or not be able to come back with a different selling point. If a PNM can read that, it's a turnoff...whether she knows why you are upset or not.

Recruitment IS about seeing the difference in this chapter and that chapter.

I'm just speaking on the GPA example anapanda gave....I don't have enough info on the other examples to interpret. But I do know that on our campus we were allowed to wear all the paraphernalia we could possibly pack onto our bodies/cars/boyfriends in the 2-3 weeks before recruitment. I believe we even wore shirts/etc. during recruitment as well. So the slogan thing on shirts doesn't bother me, unless they are out and out lying. Then we have a false advertising issue.

PsychTau

[33girl]

See, I took it as the other chapter saying "OUR GPA is 3.5, why don't you go ask XYZ what THEIRS is and see the difference" in a bitchy sort of way.

[PsychTau]

Originally posted by 33girl
See, I took it as the other chapter saying "OUR GPA is 3.5, why don't you go ask XYZ what THEIRS is and see the difference" in a bitchy sort of way.

Yep...I see your point. That's not the correct way to "encourage" PNMs to find the answers for themselves. If that's the case, I think some social skills training would be in order. But I still stand behind my statement of letting the bitchiness go and focusing on something else. Eventually that group will be known for their bitchiness if they continue (although it may not happen in one semester).

One of these days they'll probably shoot themselves in the foot.

PsychTau

[andapanda]

Originally posted by 33girl
See, I took it as the other chapter saying "OUR GPA is 3.5, why don't you go ask XYZ what THEIRS is and see the difference" in a bitchy sort of way.

That is exactly how it should be taken. Because that is how it was said.

Originally posted by Shadokat Instead of writing here about the problems that the Panhellenic has in terms of following rules, you need to get a member of your sorority into that position of "power" on the Panhellenic. If you use rotation, this shouldn't be an issue. If you're electing these positions, then it's high time you or someone in your chapter ran to make things happen.

I've tried...trust me...

I was placed on slating committee by our President because she could not attend it that night and because she knew that I wouldn't let the BS happen since I have been a member of council in the past.
Anyways....lets just say that this position (obviously head of recruitment for panhellenic) has been dominated by this chapter for X number of years. This particular year, three women were running for the position, two of which were qualified. Between these two women, slating committee had a heated debate over who would be the best candidate. Because of my feelings toward this "trend" that had been started, I pointed it out in front of everyone, including our greek life advisor. This chapter breeds a woman every year to take this position and because of their way with words and their ability to collaborate with the outgoing officer, they get the position. I wanted to change that so in the process, of course I made enemies, however, it was a fact that needed to be stated. The woman from the other chapter was slated, however, not enough votes passed the slate and it was also contested by the dominating chapter's candidate. She did not recieve enough votes to be placed on the slate....so long story short, we went through many elections only to elect the person who continued this trend.

So things have been done, but it's just kind of like this virus that doesn't go away.

Originally posted by 33girlDo you mean they were wearing t-shirts that had things like "homecoming queen 50 years in a row, most members, highest GPA" written on the t-shirt during rush? If so that's pretty obnoxious, but they could be just as obnoxious on their website. Still, it's not out of the ordinary for schools to have rules about sorority members not wearing letters or "identifying articles" (i.e. party shirts, old bid day shirts) while rush is taking place. Maybe something like that should be instituted.

It was on their bid day shirts which was stated something like, its not easy being the best...but around here its tradition....

i'm sorry but i take that as unpanhellenic and underminding the "spirit of the rule"

so i hope that clears up some things....

[33girl]

If the other sororities are as annoyed w/ the obnoxioius sorority as you guys are, try to get them together to change the bylaws of panhellenic to rotate offices instead of having election. It's a lot fairer, every group gets a voice and chance to have offices (this really should not be a prob with only 5 groups) and you won't have to deal with slates and people doing slimy things to get elected and such. The only stipulation should be that the pepole getting the positions have to have been in Panhel for at least 2 years or however long you see fit.

[shadokat]

I hope I do not come across rudely, because that is not my intention. BUT, if the other sorority is going to continue to groom women to take this position, then I think it's time to fight fire with fire and do the same. Get the other sororities behind you if there are other sororities. I know I may sound idealistic, but I've seen it done numerous times, and I think you can do this. If we let the people who poison our system continue to lead, the system will continue to be as it is.

[PsychTau]

I agree with shadokat and 33girl.....if the other sororities are sick of their behavior I would band together with them to get things changed. It would be 4 against 1, which would win you the vote.

This is also one of those great "life lessons" being in a sorority teaches us. Trust me, you will run across people like this in jobs and such where you can't always vote them out. Been there, done that. If you can figure out a way to take the "power" out of what they're doing, that's another way to solve the problem.

I have another question....how does this sorority holding the CPH Recruitment position each year affect this situation? If it's a recruitment violation, she's not the one making any decisions. And if it's a violation against her own group, she shouldn't handle the violation at all. Is your CPH functioning correctly? Is your Greek Adviser functioning correctly?

Another question...you haven't mentioned how the other groups perceive this. What do they think about all of this? Where do the other groups fall in terms of "popularity" on campus? DON'T name names....just use XYZ, etc. (And before anyone flames me, I'm trying to figure out the dynamics of the CPH in order to figure out options. I'm not looking to discuss why popularity on campus isn't an issue, can't judge by size, etc. I know all of that. But if anapanda's group is the smallest, least powerful group on campus they're going to have to fight this differently than if they were the 2nd largest, most powerful group.)

PsychTau

[FirstAndFinest]

I like what PsychTau has said, especially the bit about Life Lessons. Instead of trying to fight city hall, work the rules to your advantage. It will take time but the women involved, and those observing, will learn so much more about how to deal with problematic people/situations!