Greek Social Life - Then and Now

[vtgreekalum]

I've got a son entering college next year and two daughters shortly thereafter, so I was wondering if any of the "older" GCers with kids in college can contrast the Greek social seen now versus say the late 70's to early 90's; i.e.: dating, mixers, alchohol vs. marijuana use, etc.
Chris

[Benzgirl]

We were just discussing this last night with my niece who is a sophomore. She is not Greek, but attends many fraternity parties.

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.


Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment


Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee


Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

Bottom line. It's very different. In some ways it's good (better transportation around campus, the food options are greater, you can email, text or call your friend's cell). It's also bad...too easy to spend time surfing the internet, they get less exercise, it's easier to cheat on tests.

[kathykd2005]

Some of your "thens" sound a lot more like MY college experience than your "nows." The nows you are discussing are freaky, and I'm not sure they are the "norm" for Greeks "these days."

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

Some of your "thens" sound a lot more like MY college experience than your "nows." The nows you are discussing are freaky, and I'm not sure they are the "norm" for Greeks "these days."

I know, it's spooky. Those contrasts came from a 19-year old. She is somewhat disgusted be what she saw in the dorms, but loves college anyway. I am aware of many similar responses from the smaller colleges near my home. The one that completely threw me was when she told me there was a "condom club". I didn't ask her to elaborate

[kathykd2005]

Again, however, I want to reiterate that this is not the norm for college life these days... I'm sure it happens, a lot more than we would like to think, but let's not scare this poor parent into not wanting a child in a Greek organization "these days." That's really not fair to the organizations, at all.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by vtgreekalum

I've got a son entering college next year and two daughters shortly thereafter, so I was wondering if any of the "older" GCers with kids in college can contrast the Greek social seen now versus say the late 70's to early 90's; i.e.: dating, mixers, alchohol vs. marijuana use, etc.
Chris

Why not elaborate a bit more about your social scene when you were in college, and ask some of the GCers still IN college (not their parents) what it's really like for them? I think that might be a bit more productive, since there is NO possible way that parents could know all of what their children are doing.

[Scandia]

Weren't they called "VDs" back then? And there were only 3 of them.

STD sounds more clinical than VD. VD seems to have a greater stigma.

[violetpretty]

You remind me of my aunt who thinks that all teenagers today have rainbow parties after hearing about it on Oprah. She OBVIOUSLY doesn't have kids.

I would say I more closely represent "now" rather than "then" since I graduated in May 2007. I'll provide some commentary.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.

Mostly accurate. We had a "party like a rockstar", my personal favorite. Also "Halfway to Halloween", "When I grow up", "Disney characters", New Years in November, Heaven and Hell,
Don't forget graffiti and stoplight themes as well. These would usually be fraternity parties rather than a sorority sponsored event.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment

My formals were much more like the "then". We usually had a dress swap a few weeks before formal, and most of us recycled at least one formal dress from high school (myself included). I don't recall anyone ever getting their hair or makeup professionally done, though we often did each other's hair and makeup. Renting a limo wouldn't fly due to my GLO's RM policies. We took charter buses, I don't know if those qualify as "luxury". Hotel suite in a jacuzzi? Yeah right! I think these differences depend more on the affluence of the school and the chapter members (as well as RM policies) rather than "now and then".

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee

Maybe I am just sheltered, but I have never seen anything other than alcohol and weed, and never heard about anyone using anything other than alcohol, weed or coke at parties. Or maybe it's a regional difference? A bunch of my sisters had a party with the lacrosse team, who brought coke and my sisters flipped and kicked them out. I have heard of people using Adderall, but not at parties.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Yes, morals are looser today, but there is A LOT of variation. I am sure every chapter has girls who really get around, girls who are waiting until marriage, and everything in between. I wouldn't say the Walk of Shame is shameless, but humorous. The level of shame would depend on who it was that you hooked up with too.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Also,

-Now Cyber Stalking
-Then Catty Bitch down the hall calls you names

Definitely. Thank you facebook and myspace.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

-Now Crazy Students shoot up classrooms
-Then Crazy Girls shoot you with mace

And this happens at every campus?

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Weren't they called "VDs" back then? And there were only 3 of them.

STD sounds more clinical than VD. VD seems to have a greater stigma.

Yes, you are correct. It's been awhile since I heard that term

[kathykd2005]

haha I guess I really am part of the new crowd, since every time I hear the term "vd" I think of M & M lyrics.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

And this happens at every campus?

No it doesn't, but it seems to be (sadly) happening more and more. What is really sad is that students walk around aware that it could happen to them at their school. Schools are required to have so much more security than they did before. I can't even imagine having a 911 system when I was in school.

I only remember one campus shooting in the 80s

[alum]

I think the social climate can vary from campus to campus even within an era. In my day as well as today, there are party hearty schools, work hard/play hard colleges, and nose-to-the-grindstone institutions. ZooMass earned its nickname a long time ago although it is probably an unjustified monicker at this point.

When I was in school in the 80s, the drinking age was 20 in my home state and 21 in my college state. My neighbor went to Delaware which is very close to the MD border. It was 21 in DE, so they would all get their supplies in MD (age 18) and bring it back to the campus. Now the legal age is 21 making most undergraduates underage. Obviously that doesn't stop the alcohol from flowing on most campuses.

My neighbor's 2 kids, the boy next door and my d. are all undergrads at different universities. 3 are at state schools, 1 is at a private. The four schools could be broken down as 1 nose-to-the-grindstone, 2 wh/ph, and one not so stellar (but not really a party school). They all attended mandatory alcohol awareness, date rape and substance abuse warning classes during freshman orientation. I know my D's school required incoming freshmen to take an online class called alcohol.edu.

I don't remember any drugs happening in our fraternities in college although I was somewhat oblivious. I vaguely recall 2 fraternities having a bit of a rep. but my friends and I never went to those houses. I think there was more drug use in the 70s than in the 80s. IIRC, the students in Fine Arts tended to do the drugs while the rest of us stuck to cheap beer.

Nowadays, my D has mentioned that the two fraternities with the wealthiest boys have a minor cocaine rep but none of the sororities do. Her friend (who is at a very academic school) said the same thing about her state school.

As a woman, the biggest thing that concerns me is the prevalence of Rohypnal on college campuses. Date rape was unheard of when I was in school. It may have happened but once again, I was oblivious. Now it seems to occur everywere and anywhere.

[kathykd2005]

I do have to agree with the date rape statement; however, I'm sure it probably happened a lot in previous generations--a lot of times, women just never told any one about it. I know there was a very bad stigma on women who were raped all the way up to the 90s. It was not until that time when women were able to break that silence.

[SWTXBelle]

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was an active (early 80s) we had strict rules about not leaving your sisters at a fraternity party - as pledges we were drilled to never go into the "private" part of a fraternity house, to arrive and leave with your sister(s), and to not leave your drink unattended. Good advice, maybe moreso today!

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Weren't they called "VDs" back then? And there were only 3 of them.

STD sounds more clinical than VD. VD seems to have a greater stigma.

Absolutely! We even had a very serious debate about a PNM whose initials were VD and she had a lot of monogrammed clothing!

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was an active (early 80s) we had strict rules about not leaving your sisters at a fraternity party - as pledges we were drilled to never go into the "private" part of a fraternity house, to arrive and leave with your sister(s), and to not leave your drink unattended. Good advice, maybe more so today!

Also very true. We had a sister who had one too many "walks of shame", so we had "The Bod Squad". We actually took turns making sure she never went upstairs during any fraternity parties!

We were, however, able to go to a formal in whatever transportation we wanted, and didn't have to wear the over/under 21 wrist bands at sorority events. We weren't allowed to wear the regulation Pref formals to a regular formal. The Walk of Shame was very real - people who happened to catch someone would take a photo with the date/time stamp, and you'd find it posted just about anywhere.

But as with most things in life, the things which were problems to you then are probably still preferable to what you're not familiar with.