Any encouragement?

[SageB11]

Hi. I go to a predominantly white school that used to have a chapter in the early 2000s. I have no idea why the chapter is inactive or who the people were before that used to run the chapter. I do know that it is not suspended on put on probation. If I want to join, I will have to start the chapter again under a new charter and basically be one of the founding women. I have already started that process. I have done my research, and read so much about the Sorority. My sister is a part of it. My whole problem is I don't know what to expect. I do not expect you to tell me because that is not allowed but I do need some encouraging words. I am all for this sorority, I love what it stands for, I love the pride and joy of a probate and I love the strong ways of the females involved. Also I want to make my sister soooo proud because she takes pride in me and with me being her little sister. I was never interested in sorority life that's why I went to a school and didn't check its Greek History. She gave me pointers about sorority life in general and told me to pick the organization that best fits me. She also told me not to join a sorority only because she is in one (but no doubt that influenced my decision). I researched them all and of course I found the one I loved and related with.

Long story short, I want to join so bad and I want to finish. But I know myself and sometimes I feel like I cannot make it through the sands to get to the land. I feel like I would get lost in the darkness and not make it to the light. I have read about people who died and I do not want to die, I do want to lose, I do not want to slip. Sometimes I consider just enduring how people would see me as a "skater" if i sign the paper (which may not be an issue in my campus) because I will still be able to greatness. I want it as much as the next girl but I dont know how much I can endure physically. You have to be strong and I am but it is something I never touched. I want to bring what the founders brought, sisterhood, scholarship and service (especially on my campus) I want to show people the great deeds of this sorority and join the history and amazingness of this Org but I do not think that I will make it through. I cannot help but to think that. Reading the stories break my heart and if it breaks my heart now, how will I feel when I'm doing it? Any encouragement, advice? I know there is so much you can tell me, but I will appreciate anything.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by SageB11

Hi. I go to a predominantly white school that used to have a chapter in the early 2000s. I have no idea why the chapter is inactive or who the people were before that used to run the chapter. I do know that it is not suspended on put on probation. If I want to join, I will have to start the chapter again under a new charter and basically be one of the founding women. I have already started that process. I have done my research, and read so much about the Sorority. My sister is a part of it. My whole problem is I don't know what to expect. I do not expect you to tell me because that is not allowed but I do need some encouraging words. I am all for this sorority, I love what it stands for, I love the pride and joy of a probate and I love the strong ways of the females involved. Also I want to make my sister soooo proud because she takes pride in me and with me being her little sister. I was never interested in sorority life that's why I went to a school and didn't check its Greek History. She gave me pointers about sorority life in general and told me to pick the organization that best fits me. She also told me not to join a sorority only because she is in one (but no doubt that influenced my decision). I researched them all and of course I found the one I loved and related with.

Long story short, I want to join so bad and I want to finish. But I know myself and sometimes I feel like I cannot make it through the sands to get to the land. I feel like I would get lost in the darkness and not make it to the light. I have read about people who died and I do not want to die, I do want to lose, I do not want to slip. Sometimes I consider just enduring how people would see me as a "skater" if i sign the paper (which may not be an issue in my campus) because I will still be able to greatness. I want it as much as the next girl but I dont know how much I can endure physically. You have to be strong and I am but it is something I never touched. I want to bring what the founders brought, sisterhood, scholarship and service (especially on my campus) I want to show people the great deeds of this sorority and join the history and amazingness of this Org but I do not think that I will make it through. I cannot help but to think that. Reading the stories break my heart and if it breaks my heart now, how will I feel when I'm doing it? Any encouragement, advice? I know there is so much you can tell me, but I will appreciate anything.

Guess what happened 99 years ago?

[SageB11]

I know it was founded.... but are you implying something else?

[Spinderella]

In continuing your research, you will need to locate the local graduate chapter of the sorority. They directly influence any re-activation or chartering of a inactive or new chapters.

The grad chapter is typically responsible for

1. Fact finding to confirm that having a chapter on your campus is viable.

2. Identifying grad members who will directly take on the task of serving as advisors for the potential chapter reactivation/chartering.

3. Filing the proper paperwork with your university and the regional/national Grand Chapter.

4. Securing approval for the chapter from the university and regional/national Grand Chapter.

5. Working with young ladies, like yourself in whatever capacity is required to prepare for new member intake, once approved by regional/national Grand Chapter.

Again, as you have said, do you homework.

Another suggestion, go online, look at the websites of other local undergraduate chapters and see who is the grad advisor. If you begin conversations with that person, perhaps they can give you guidance in working on what you can, and determining what is NOT your responsibility in achieving your dream to get a chapter reactivated/chartered on your campus.

Be professional when you speak to this person and be prepared to discuss what you can bring to DST, your academic achievements to date and your willingness to be a hard worker. Keep yourself busy with other things and do not allow yourself to become consumed with this activity. Do what you can, but don't lose sight of getting the most stellar gpa you can at your university.

Good Luck.

[SageB11]

Thanks so much! That was entirely helpful!

[Spinderella]

You are welcomed. I am not a Delta, but I have observed more than enough to offer help to others who aspire to be.

Once you're in...can't do nothing for ya man!! LOL!!

[als463]

Originally Posted by Spinderella

You are welcomed. I am not a Delta, but I have observed more than enough to offer help to others who aspire to be.

Once you're in...can't do nothing for ya man!! LOL!!

While some of your advice may seem to be good, I have to admit that if someone who was NOT a member of my GLO attempted to give out "advice" regarding how to attract members of my sisterhood for potential membership, I would be really upset and annoyed. You say that you are NOT a Delta but, you have "observed more than enough to offer help to others who aspire to be," and I feel like that will not sit well with ACTUAL Delta Sigma Theta members.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by SageB11

Thanks so much! That was entirely helpful!

Originally Posted by Spinderella

I am not a Delta.

......

[Spinderella]

Originally Posted by als463

While some of your advice may seem to be good, I have to admit that if someone who was NOT a member of my GLO attempted to give out "advice" regarding how to attract members of my sisterhood for potential membership, I would be really upset and annoyed. You say that you are NOT a Delta but, you have "observed more than enough to offer help to others who aspire to be," and I feel like that will not sit well with ACTUAL Delta Sigma Theta members.

If a non-greek asks a good question and gets a 'grasshopper type answer' from a greek, I will attempt to answer the question.

I think it is deplorable for people to be left in darkness about something that really needs more light shined on it. Way too many people spend their college and some adult years chasing something that if given proper information, they could have made alternate decisions or handled things differently for themselves.

I'm all about the candidates or people who think they want to be candidates.

Once you get there, I can't do nothing for you man. UNLESS you want to denounce...

Have a nice day.

[knight_shadow]

How do you know that there isn't protocol in place dictating what can and cannot be said? It doesn't matter what you think is deplorable -- Greeks are going to follow the rules of their respective I/HQs.

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by Spinderella

If a non-greek asks a good question and gets a 'grasshopper type answer' from a greek, I will attempt to answer the question.

I think it is deplorable for people to be left in darkness about something that really needs more light shined on it. Way too many people spend their college and some adult years chasing something that if given proper information, they could have made alternate decisions or handled things differently for themselves.

I'm all about the candidates or people who think they want to be candidates.

Once you get there, I can't do nothing for you man. UNLESS you want to denounce...

Have a nice day.

All that advice you just gave didn't do you a lick of good in your eternal search to become a Delta, did it?

[Spinderella]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

All that advice you just gave didn't do you a lick of good in your eternal search to become a Delta, did it?

I learned that it is for some, not all, and definitely not me. Therefore, my eternal search is for something totally different.

[als463]

Originally Posted by Spinderella

I learned that it is for some, not all, and definitely not me. Therefore, my eternal search is for something totally different.

Then, why don't you take that "eternal search" you have and go search another website where you DON'T give advice about an organization where you are not a member. So, if Tiger Woods tries to give advice to Tom Brady about how he can win the Superbowl, does that mean (as a Golfer and not a Football player) his advice would even be relevant? I don't think so. You are NOT a member so, you should probably just allow the ladies of Delta Sigma Theta answer (or not answer) future aspirants (if that is the word). You have no reason to be dispensing advice that you clearly didn't take. It's actually quite shocking that you are not a member. How could they not want you?

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by Spinderella

I learned that it is for some, not all, and definitely not me. Therefore, my eternal search is for something totally different.

Because people who have given something up always spend time hanging out on and giving out uneducated advice on message boards focused on the thing they gave up.

[Old_Row]

Before it suddenly disappears ............

Originally Posted by Spinderella

Dear Sisterfriends,

It is now the end of May. Together, we all received our rejection letters in early March. The line that we were not selected for crossed into the ‘land of Blah Blah’ in mid-April. Let’s move on with our lives. Please stop calling me to replay why you think we didn’t make it. The why is no longer important at this time, because knowing why won’t change things.

Take stock of your life; we are still beautiful, we still contribute to society and we are actually financially richer. Even more so, if you count all the things the other women had to pay in becoming members and committing their lives to the most illustrious, dynamic, never duplicated sorority on Earth; the one and only Blah Blah Sorority, INNNNCORPORATED. God has a greater plan and being a member at this time, wasn’t it.

If the money is still burning a hole in your piggy bank, either donate it to your favorite charity, pay off some bills or go buy something very very nice for yourself.

If you Sisterfriends are the true hearts that I think you are, you will take time to reconnect with old girlfriends and other sisterfriends who are already in your lives. You will find that you are already part of your own sororities, in which, if you are as diligent as I am about picking my friends, you will already have some 'sho-nuff got ya' back women in your life.

Keep serving your community doing the things that make you feel good. Just because it was classified as self-serving doesn’t mean you didn’t ultimately help someone. Get over that point. Your time was and still is valuable to all people you helped. When you feel the time is right, then you can switch community service to be more reflective of what is needed.

But I implore you; search your heart before you do. Ask yourself 'Why would I feed the homeless, if I really like working with the kids in my school?' Keep in mind that women in the sorority do what they like and get involved in committees where their talents are best suited, too. Don't be fooled into thinking that members do 'painful' community/committee service work. And if it is painful, they do it with their sisters, so there is a bigger intrinsic joy. Don't go to the homeless shelter, by yourself, thinking it will get you brownie points if you would rather be somewhere else.

Sisterfriends, you are grown women, it is at this juncture of your life that you should be comfortable in your skin and happy in what you do. Don’t let ANYBODY take that away from you, EVER. We are long past the ages of 19. Some longer than others.

So in summary, if getting a rejection letter is the only thing that bonds us, please don’t call me anymore. But if you are calling to invite me to a community service project that you are doing, or to say that your kids are excelling/having problems and you wanted to share the joy or reach out for my help, most certainly, feel free to call at any time. I will be there for you. If you are calling to tell me a joke, make me smile, share your joys, please call me.

Don’t call me to say that you saw such and such. Don't call to ask did I hear about certain unpublished events--if a member didn't call me (and I know plenty), then maybe I'm not invited. (Perhaps if a member didn't call you, maybe you aren't invited either, hmmm?) Don’t call me to say you heard this, you heard that. Don’t call to say such and such chapter might be doing something next year, let’s try again. Don’t call to say “it’s their loss, I really thought you would make it.” Do me and yourself a favor, lose my number, because on this matter, I don’t give a rip. Life goes on and this is officially the summer of SPINDERELLA!!!!!

I will still Luv Ya, Sisterfriends!! (even from a distance)

PS Find some good-hearted Sisterfriends, go see Sex In the City on Friday and toss back some Cosmos. You’ll feel better! Make ’08 YOUR SUMMER!


PS 2--If you find yourself at a public or private Blah Blah Sorority Innnnnncorporated event and you are still neurotic about what colors to wear, IT IS OKAY TO STOP WEARING BROWN AND GRAY!!! Add some new colors to your wardrobe...perhaps oranges (rust to peach), yellows (canary to gold), purples(orchid to deep rich purple), teals, or turquoise. Wear colors that will uplift your spirits. It may take some time to find these colors, but when you do, it will be that much sweeter to uniquely represent yourself while feeling good in a color that complements your beautiful skin tones. Gray ain't never did nothing for nobody.


Red, pink (all variations ranging from fuschia to mauve), burgundy, green (ranging from olive or lime) or royal blue are not the only color games in town.