need some advice asap!

cincy · #1 12-17-2008, 09:45 AM

So there is this guy (we will call him Chris) I have known since 7th grade, I am now a sophomore in college. We have always been friends and nothing more, until this past October when we went to this party with some friends and after that night things went from friends to more than friends. We have so many things in common and things will be made official (boyfriend-girlfriend not marriage) sometime closer to Christmas (I heard from one of his friends)

Recently, the past two weeks we have been talking sexual things. He knows I am a virgin (thats right the only 19, almost 20 year old virgin left on the planet). I plan[ned] to wait until marriage but I don't thing that's going to happen. Last night I gave in to my feelings and said it is very possible that it will happen soon. I won't say what else we spoke about

My question is, how do I know if this is the right thing to do? He is a lot different that other guys I have messed with and i hae never felt this way about anybody else. I am simply tired of waiting to get some, i have passes up I don't know how many guys, but this one feels right.

Any advice?

P.S- I promise you he is a good guy. I wouldn't give up my virginity to some random loser.

Kevin · #2 12-17-2008, 11:20 AM

Not to sound crass, but from the tone of your post, you've already made up your mind and you're just looking for folks to tell you it's okay. It's no big deal. I think our culture tends to make sex a bigger deal than it actually is -- with all this 'abstinence only' crap (which apparently, you've been exposed to and are now reacting like 99% of people that message has been wasted on). But really... the opinions of folks on an internet message board who you don't even know should probably have zero bearing on your decision.

Just be careful about things so y'all don't end up being parents before you're ready.

agzg · #3 12-17-2008, 11:24 AM

Think about what's going on between you before you go anywhere near this. Is he pestering you to have sex? Are you willing to do it because you want him to stop bothering you? If this is true then he's probably not the guy.

Ask yourself if you're going to be ashamed down the road that this is the guy you're going to lose your virginity to. If the answer to any of these questions is yes, think long and hard before diving in.

If the answer is no, used a condom. You can get pregnant or catch an STD your first time.

cincy · #4 12-17-2008, 11:36 AM

no he hasn't pestered me at all to have sex. i brought up the subject. he says he is fine with whatever decision i make.

i honestly doubt i will regret it because i feel differently about him than the other guys i have been involved with

DaemonSeid · #5 12-17-2008, 11:37 AM

I hope it's all you expect it to be.

WVU alpha phi · #6 12-17-2008, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cincy

So there is this guy (we will call him Chris) I have known since 7th grade, I am now a sophomore in college. We have always been friends and nothing more, until this past October when we went to this party with some friends and after that night things went from friends to more than friends. We have so many things in common and things will be made official (boyfriend-girlfriend not marriage) sometime closer to Christmas (I heard from one of his friends)

Recently, the past two weeks we have been talking sexual things. He knows I am a virgin (thats right the only 19, almost 20 year old virgin left on the planet). I plan[ned] to wait until marriage but I don't thing that's going to happen. Last night I gave in to my feelings and said it is very possible that it will happen soon. I won't say what else we spoke about

My question is, how do I know if this is the right thing to do? He is a lot different that other guys I have messed with and i hae never felt this way about anybody else. I am simply tired of waiting to get some, i have passes up I don't know how many guys, but this one feels right.

Any advice?

P.S- I promise you he is a good guy. I wouldn't give up my virginity to some random loser.

What do you mean you heard things will be made official through his friends? Why is he waiting to make things "official" with you? I think you need to actually date the guy for awhile before you decide to lose your virginity. Knowing someone as a friend is totally different than as a boyfriend.

KSUViolet06 · #7 12-17-2008, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

What do you mean you heard things will be made official through his friends? Why is he waiting to make things "official" with you? I think you need to actually date the guy for awhile before you decide to lose your virginity. Knowing someone as a friend is totally different than as a boyfriend.

Agreed.

This is just my opinion, but I would expect someone to be my boyfriend (at the least) before we have sex (not afterward or "sometime closer to Christmas)."

That sounds a little shady to me, and I wouldn't go for it. But you probably are so I hope it's everything you're building it up to be.

My mom once said "Guys don't buy the cow when they can get the milk for free." (or something like that)

WCsweet<3 · #8 12-17-2008, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

What do you mean you heard things will be made official through his friends? Why is he waiting to make things "official" with you? I think you need to actually date the guy for awhile before you decide to lose your virginity. Knowing someone as a friend is totally different than as a boyfriend.

Amen.

And you aren't the only 19/20 year old waiting for marriage. There is at least one other...

KSUViolet06 · #9 12-17-2008, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

Amen.

And you aren't the only 19/20 year old waiting for marriage. There is at least one other...

You're also not "the oldest on the planet."

lilzetakitten · #10 12-17-2008, 05:09 PM

I just looked at all your old posts on GC. I know stuff can change in a few months but are you sure this is what you want?

christiangirl · #11 12-17-2008, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

My mom once said "Guys don't buy the cow when they can get the milk for free." (or something like that)

My mom used to say that, too--but I kept getting hung up on the fact that she was equating me with a cow (though I know that was hardly the point).

Quote:

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

And you aren't the only 19/20 year old waiting for marriage. There is at least one other...

At least.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

You can get pregnant or catch an STD your first time.

You can also get pregnant and catch certain skin-contact STDs even with a condom. That seems to never get mentioned because it happens infrequently, but "ish happens" sometimes.

cincy · #12 12-17-2008, 07:29 PM

I know everything that goes along with having sex (possible pregnancy, STD's, AIDS, STI's) I'm not dumb.

It is not shady. It's not that sex is the only thing we talk about. It wasnt until recently that we started talking about it. We talk about school, family, friends, future, our relationsip...

FratBrah · #13 12-17-2008, 07:37 PM

He's got you right where he wants you.
He'll probably do you a few times before Christmas and hope to pick up someone better at a New Year's party.

That's what I'd do anyway.....

KSig RC · #14 12-17-2008, 07:47 PM

The first post in this thread, from Kevin, is the best by far - be intelligent, and you'll be OK. Life is not a Rubik's Cube.

Also I like how you need the advice "asap" - like, is he on his way for condoms?

cincy · #15 12-18-2008, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FratBrah

He's got you right where he wants you.
He'll probably do you a few times before Christmas and hope to pick up someone better at a New Year's party.

That's what I'd do anyway.....

na that's not it at all

i bet you would do something like that. i dont know who you are at all but from your posts i can picture who you are