You Know You were Born/Raised "Black" When...

[TonyB06]

-You know what "no hometraining" means.

-You've told your mother you had a headache and her remedy was to take a crap or some Robitussin.

-You were always able to find a Jet, Ebony, Ebony Jr., or Essence somewhere around the house.

-Your dad had the uncanny ability to wake up just as you were changing the channel and yell "I was watchin' that!" - no matter how quiet you were...


-You fell asleep in your mother's lap while getting your hair cornrowed, woke up, fell back asleep, and woke up again and she still wasn't finished.

-Kool aid was the only "sports drink" you knew...

-You knew about the controversy of the barbershop/beauty shop dialogue way before "Barbershop" or "Beauty Shop" came out.

-Many of the people you grew up calling your aunty, uncle, cousin, sister, or brother have no blood relation to you at all.

-You have the tendency to describe people's complexions in terms of food.

-Your family had Sunday dinners.

-OJ taught you that Black or White doesn't matter. . .So long as you've got green.

-You've been told to stop crying before you got something to cry about.

-Your parents whooped your behind if you wasted food.

-Catfish was a popular meat at your barbeques.

-Your parents told you to not even THINK about asking for toys when you go shopping with them.

-Back-sassing a parent was the last thing on your mind… if you wanted to live.

-You saw your community as part of your extended family.

-Your barbers or hairdressers were your friends.

-You knew ladies who wore big hats to church that you can't see over when sitting down.

-Robitussin was a panacea.

-Food with too little spice was simply unbearable.

-You got baths in the sink as a baby.

-You were told "I'll get mine and forget everyone else" was a terrible mindset.

-As an adult, you still look over your shoulder when you know you're doin' wrong...

-When your white friends talked to their parents, you ducked...

-As an adult, your parents deny ever spanking you...

-You feared your friends’ parents as much as you did your own...

-You know how to drive a car with no brakes, or lights..Or windshield wipers...

-You put hot sauce on everything including macaroni and cheese.

-You compulsively barbecue when the warm weather arrives...

-When someone makes something good to eat, you say things like "You put yo foot in this"

-If you hear your jam you dance despite the location…You could be in the bank, and you would lean and rock with it...(slightly)

-You know about forty eight variations of hand shakes...and you can perform the black combination without training..You know the one which starts by locking thumbs, and then a series of other moves...

-You can make seventy dishes, including spaghetti with ramen noodles.

-You would not be shocked if someone passing in a car shouted out your name without stopping the vehicle...and then you compulsively shout back "Whaddup"

-You almost starve to death from December 26 to March due to your families Christmas shopping debt.

-Even though the neighbor's kid wound up in prison, your auntie makes sure to remind you of how bad you were as a kid because you painted the dog.

-You know what cod liver oil taste like.

-“oohh un hun” is an appropriate response to something you don't like.

-You know what it meant to be told to go get a "switch." And you bet not bring back a sheisty one.

-Sucking your teeth in front of adults ....ummm... bet not happen.

-"good hair and bad hair"

-When James Evans died you actually grieved

-Tremendously loud bass is an acquired musical delicacy.

-Your momma told you to put vaseline on your legs because "it's just like lotion".

-Dessert choices were sweet potato pie or pound cake.

-You were warned not to drink coffee because it made you black.

-Your momma's momma was "Big Mama" and Your dad's momma was "Muh Dea"

-You pronounce AUNT like UNTEE, not ANT

-You could buy frozen koolaid pops and faygo sodas from the back door of an old lady in your neighborhood

[CountryGurl]

LMAO!! That was a good one!

[soulfulremix]

I like this one!! LOL... thanks TonyB!

[SummerChild]

Ok, some of these are too real! LOL.
How many times did my mother threaten to give me something to cry about if I started crying. How many spoonfuls of cod liver oil did I have to take at night *just in case* I was going to get sick.
How many times did my daddy wake up from his nap when we tried to change the channel only to inform us "I was watching that dear." LOL.
Buying koolaid and candy from the backdoor of the neighbor, barbequing *every day* during the summer, not even thinking about backtalking - being smacked in the mouth before I could complete my sentence and seeing stars the one time that I thought that I was going to backtalk. LOL. Staring in amazement at how others backtalked their parents and got away with it or threw temper tantrums on the grocery store floor when I know that my mom would have shot me "the look" (ya'll know the evil eye) and I would have **straightened up** right away.

Originally Posted by TonyB06

-You know what "no hometraining" means.

-You've told your mother you had a headache and her remedy was to take a crap or some Robitussin.

-You were always able to find a Jet, Ebony, Ebony Jr., or Essence somewhere around the house.

-Your dad had the uncanny ability to wake up just as you were changing the channel and yell "I was watchin' that!" - no matter how quiet you were...


-You fell asleep in your mother's lap while getting your hair cornrowed, woke up, fell back asleep, and woke up again and she still wasn't finished.

-Kool aid was the only "sports drink" you knew...

-You knew about the controversy of the barbershop/beauty shop dialogue way before "Barbershop" or "Beauty Shop" came out.

-Many of the people you grew up calling your aunty, uncle, cousin, sister, or brother have no blood relation to you at all.

-You have the tendency to describe people's complexions in terms of food.

-Your family had Sunday dinners.

-OJ taught you that Black or White doesn't matter. . .So long as you've got green.

-You've been told to stop crying before you got something to cry about.

-Your parents whooped your behind if you wasted food.

-Catfish was a popular meat at your barbeques.

-Your parents told you to not even THINK about asking for toys when you go shopping with them.

-Back-sassing a parent was the last thing on your mind… if you wanted to live.

-You saw your community as part of your extended family.

-Your barbers or hairdressers were your friends.

-You knew ladies who wore big hats to church that you can't see over when sitting down.

-Robitussin was a panacea.

-Food with too little spice was simply unbearable.

-You got baths in the sink as a baby.

-You were told "I'll get mine and forget everyone else" was a terrible mindset.

-As an adult, you still look over your shoulder when you know you're doin' wrong...

-When your white friends talked to their parents, you ducked...

-As an adult, your parents deny ever spanking you...

-You feared your friends’ parents as much as you did your own...

-You know how to drive a car with no brakes, or lights..Or windshield wipers...

-You put hot sauce on everything including macaroni and cheese.

-You compulsively barbecue when the warm weather arrives...

-When someone makes something good to eat, you say things like "You put yo foot in this"

-If you hear your jam you dance despite the location…You could be in the bank, and you would lean and rock with it...(slightly)

-You know about forty eight variations of hand shakes...and you can perform the black combination without training..You know the one which starts by locking thumbs, and then a series of other moves...

-You can make seventy dishes, including spaghetti with ramen noodles.

-You would not be shocked if someone passing in a car shouted out your name without stopping the vehicle...and then you compulsively shout back "Whaddup"

-You almost starve to death from December 26 to March due to your families Christmas shopping debt.

-Even though the neighbor's kid wound up in prison, your auntie makes sure to remind you of how bad you were as a kid because you painted the dog.

-You know what cod liver oil taste like.

-“oohh un hun” is an appropriate response to something you don't like.

-You know what it meant to be told to go get a "switch." And you bet not bring back a sheisty one.

-Sucking your teeth in front of adults ....ummm... bet not happen.

-"good hair and bad hair"

-When James Evans died you actually grieved

-Tremendously loud bass is an acquired musical delicacy.

-Your momma told you to put vaseline on your legs because "it's just like lotion".

-Dessert choices were sweet potato pie or pound cake.

-You were warned not to drink coffee because it made you black.

-Your momma's momma was "Big Mama" and Your dad's momma was "Muh Dea"

-You pronounce AUNT like UNTEE, not ANT

-You could buy frozen koolaid pops and faygo sodas from the back door of an old lady in your neighborhood

[preciousjeni]

Hey now...the majority of these go for anyone raised in the South! (And by South I mean counnnnnnntry South by country Southern folk.) Anyway, seriously, where do you wash babies if not in the sink?

[Jill1228]

OMG! i was reading these and was like "Yup" "Yup"
Thanks for this! Ya made my day

Now to school Mr. 1228 on some of these things

[ShamikaT]

I gots a short attanetion span, I didn't read it all, so I hope I don't repeat any...

-mama spits on her hand and smooth your hair down when it gets messy

-you gets a whoopin with house shoes, phone cords, switches, and wooden rulers

-yo family gets put out of hospitals, whenever gramps get sick, because we get too loud and bother the white folks

-yo family too poor to buy new chewing gum. whenever you get tired of chewin', you just stick the gum on your bed post and even behind your ear. when you wanna chew some more, just pop it back in your mouth

-whenever you clown at school and the teacher calls your mama. she comes to school and whoop your azz right in front of your peeps

-choir rehearsal ends early because some fools break into the churych tryin' to run from the policeii

-you wear all white on first sundays

-you wear pastels on fifth sundays

-the choir director demands that the girls always wear ponytails. cuz if they wear their hair hanging down, jeri curl with stain the robes.

-you record songs from the radio by holding a tape recorder up to the speaker

-when you replay the music you recorded, you hear pops yellin' and your brother being spanked by mama, in the background.

-whenever you go to play in the sprinklers or fire hydrants, you wear a plastic grocery bag on your head as a shower cap

-when you travel, you try to pack as many people into the car as you can. three big people sit in the front, and three big people sit in the back. five little people sit in the big peoples lap who ain't drivin. 11 people total, voila!

-whenever you be bad or tell a lie, yo grandma says "the devil gonna get ya!"

-if you get in a fight and lost, you got another azz whoopin when you get home, for not taking up for yourself

-you only knew "laffy taffy" as a chewy candy

-whenever there was a storm, mama made us turn off all the electronics and then bounce downstairs

-you stuffed your bra AND your booty

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally Posted by ShamikaT

-yo family gets put out of hospitals, whenever gramps get sick, because we get too loud and bother the white folks

-you record songs from the radio by holding a tape recorder up to the speaker

-when you replay the music you recorded, you hear pops yellin' and your brother being spanked by mama, in the background.

-when you travel, you try to pack as many people into the car as you can. three big people sit in the front, and three big people sit in the back. five little people sit in the big peoples lap who ain't drivin. 11 people total, voila!

-you stuffed your bra AND your booty

LMAO!!! ShamikaT, you are a wit, LMAO!!!!

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Hey now...the majority of these go for anyone raised in the South! (And by South I mean counnnnnnntry South by country Southern folk.) Anyway, seriously, where do you wash babies if not in the sink?

Agreed..

[AKA_Monet]

How come my dad washed my mouth out with Zest soap because I said "dang"?

[ziasha07]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

How come my dad washed my mouth out with Zest soap because I said "dang"?

How come I almost got beat one day when I was little for saying "freak"?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by ziasha07

How come I almost got beat one day when I was little for saying "freak"?

Wait, how come my mom actually did whoop my little 10 year behind because I said "You hot dayum, jive turkey mudda fcukin' ball"?

[BlueReign]

Now we used to get popped in the mouth for saying such "bad" words as

"but" (You were supposed to say "my bottom" not "my but")
"lie" (The correct word was "story". It was not "Ma, he telling a lie on me." We were supposed to say "He telling a story on me".

We couldn't even begin to think about what foods we didn't like. You had to eat it anyway. I hated liver, sauerkraut, salty fish and watermelon. We had to chew it, swallow it cause there wasn't nothing else to eat. I could get away with not eating the watermelon because that was a treat.

[AKA2D '91]

LOL

Add to the food list: beets :gross:

I thought that if a curse word, such as damn was in a song, it was okay to say it. After the back of my mother's hand left my mouth, I understood that even if in a song, it was NOT okay to repeat.

[mccoyred]

Originally Posted by BlueReign

Now we used to get popped in the mouth for saying such "bad" words as

"but" (You were supposed to say "my bottom" not "my but")
"lie" (The correct word was "story". It was not "Ma, he telling a lie on me." We were supposed to say "He telling a story on me".

We couldn't even begin to think about what foods we didn't like. You had to eat it anyway. I hated liver, sauerkraut, salty fish and watermelon. We had to chew it, swallow it cause there wasn't nothing else to eat. I could get away with not eating the watermelon because that was a treat.

I know that's right.

I recall an incident with one of my cousins who speaks very properly. She was telling on one of our other cousins who was sitting or laying down on her. She told my grandmother that so-and-so was 'lying' on her. Well, she almost got her behind whooped because, according to grandmother, she should have said 'fibbing' or 'telling a story'. I had to step in and 'interpret'