gavel pass/ candle pass/ stitch-n-bitch rules

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

Does anyone have written down rules for their gavel pass/ candle pass/ stitch-n-bitch?

We're going to have a gavel pass sometime before the fall semester starts and I've written down a few things to be said before we start and have the session end with words for the good of the order, but was curious if anyone has a structured gavel pass.

[Kevin]

Is this basically where people can get crap off their chest?

After every meeting we have "Roses & Thorns". If you have a thorn (a bad thing) you need a rose as well.

It's good times.

[GeekyPenguin]

I could tell you but I'd have to kill you.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I could tell you but I'd have to kill you.

So you're saying that you can neither confirm nor deny the existance of such rituals?

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by ktsnake
So you're saying that you can neither confirm nor deny the existance of such rituals?

It's sort of like you and your Sigma Nu may or may not be real thing.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
It's sort of like you and your Sigma Nu may or may not be real thing.

I can neither confirm nor deny the existance of a thing.

[CarolinaCutie]

Am I the only one who doesn't think that these types of things are always a good idea? I just don't like the concept of them.

[astroAPhi]

It depends. My chapter had a time once a month where we didn't allow for anything negative to be said at a meeting. When it was your turn to talk, you had to say something nice or you could just keep your mouth shut.

[BGanchor]

We had a gavel pass twice this last year. Basically if you want it you just reach your hand out, say what you have to say and it goes to the next person, but you can't say a peep without the gavel! Not a big fan of the whole thing, it can get ugly and even if it doesn't people leave not in a bad mood. I think it just feeds into bad feelings and causes tension in the house. Some things can go unsaid, and the things that can't need to be dealt with in private.

Originally posted by ktsnake
Is this basically where people can get crap off their chest?

After every meeting we have "Roses & Thorns". If you have a thorn (a bad thing) you need a rose as well.

It's good times.

We had this at the end of every meeting. It was mostly for fun and a good way to keep everyone up to date with what was going on in your life that week.

[astroAPhi]

I forgot to mention that we have a chapter forum once a year to discuss the problems we're having and how to fix them. If a chapter is very tumultous, then maybe once a semester was good.

We sit down, discuss what we don't like, and then offer solutions. It takes negativity and makes it positive and productive.

[azdtaxi]

We have these and you are suppose to talk out any issues (good things too) and if it is a negative thing you have to finish it and then you are suppose to leave it there and not bring it up again,

[AXOKatie]

See, it's the coming-up-with-solutions part that is hard...we've never had a gavel pass, but we have had open discussions of problems during meeting that have just deteriorated so quickly because people bitch and bitch, but don't come up with anything constructive...it's like, the chapter will complain, but then they look at the Executive leaders to clean it up...and then Exec is like "Uhhh, we can't do anything without help, guys" or say that they're trying and nothing ever gets accomplished! i realize that it really is Exec's job to fix problems and maintain order, but they aren't geniuses or anything...they're just as stuck as everyone else.

Does anyone know an effective way to teach/remind chapters to be contructive with their complaints or offer solutions?