Resignation Etiquette?

Lunarwolf · #1 08-09-2003, 11:43 PM

Help me out here, because I'm a bit ticked off.

At the beginning of the summer, a sister sent out an email to our listserv with her resignation and deactivation notice. We were sad and hurt, but we understood it and in retrospect should've seen it coming.

Now we've just (RIGHT BEFORE RUSH WHEN WE NEED OUR MEMBERS THE MOST!) received yet *another* resignation letter, but this one is completely out of the blue. This sister had not talked to anyone that any of us are aware of, and pulled this one out of an imaginary hat somewhere north of Nowhere. We're pissed off, and I'm wondering if this is really acceptable and whether we have to accept an out of the blue email notice?

This is going to make us really, really shorthanded come recruitment time, and we're getting burned out from the various multiple duties we each have to shoulder. I am NOT a happy camper. *sigh*

erica812 · #2 08-10-2003, 12:27 AM

My sorority experience is very limited; however, any formal notification should not be done electronically. Resignation from a job, a termination notice from an employer, a wedding invitation, even a thank you note should not be done over e-mail. Perhaps someday the etiquette will change, but for now, all of the above should be presented on paper or in person. I would assume that leaving a sorority would be handled with the same respect.

Erica

KillarneyRose · #3 08-10-2003, 01:47 AM

Personally, I'm of the old school and I agree with Erica that things like a resignation should be written on pen and ink, now e mail!

As for whether you have to accept an e mail notice, I'm afraid it doesn't seem like you all have much choice about accepting her decision unless saying it isn't accepted would mean that she would stick around.

Maybe your president could approach her to talk and find out what is bothering her? Maybe it's something that can be solved and she'll want to stay on board.

honeychile · #4 08-10-2003, 11:10 AM

I would suggest that y'all talk to your Chapter Advisor about this situation immediately!! As KillarneyRose said, it's not like you have a choice in accepting or rejecting this resignation - she simply will not be there, and you need to face up to that now.

But, most Nationals do have a policy for resignation, and to my knowledge, they all require that certain forms must be processed and their pins forfeited. Be sure that your Advisor follows up on this NOW, before it becomes an even bigger problem!

ETA: The quicker your National knows, the easier it will be to possibly schedule some help for y'all during rush, too.

PsychTau · #5 08-10-2003, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by honeychile
I would suggest that y'all talk to your Chapter Advisor about this situation immediately!!

ETA: The quicker your National knows, the easier it will be to possibly schedule some help for y'all during rush, too.

Yes, LunarWolf, let your Traveling Consultant and advisors know NOW!!!! I don't know how "set" their schedules are but they can probably get someone (even if it's other staff or another chapter) to come in and help you out for recruitment.

I believe AST requires a written letter to the chapter, then a vote, then some forms to be sent to the National Council. I would have someone *nice and gently* talk to the 2nd resignation to see what happened. Don' t focus on the "we really need you for recruitment, etc", instead asked what made her feel uncomfortable, what could the chapter change, what improvements could she see for AST, is there anything that would make her stay with AST? I would also try NOT to argue about her answers....stay calm and listen (unless she says something totally false or that was a misunderstanding....then politely give her the correct info). The less of a conflict this is, the less chance she will be bitter and start ripping you guys to everyone else on campus. I would also focus on getting all of their (both resignations) AST belongings back ASAP....you don't want them to lose contact w/the chapter and have it become a wild goose chase. An advisor might be the best person to handle that part, depending on the relationship you have with the person.

In any case, stay cool, and good luck with this. It happens, and it's sad, but there is no need to turn it into a big mess. If you don't know how to get in touch with the Travelling Consultant (we haven't gotten our new directories yet), PM me and I'll email the DCC. OK?

Tau Love,
PsychTau

MoxieGrrl · #6 08-10-2003, 04:51 PM

A letter from these sisters is definitely in order. Members who have resigned from my chapter met with the President and the CAB president. Also, there were definitely forms for Nationals that had to be filled out. Otherwise, it could be a financial mess. Plus, if they don't want to be there, then it's best to get things taken care of quickly from all angles. I do not know whether or not the meetings are required, but KD definitely wants some paperwork done. There might be something in your president's manual that might help everyone out.

I'm so sorry that you are losing sisters, especially right before recruitment. I hope these resignations can bring everyone else closer together and things go well for your chapter!

nucutiepie · #7 08-10-2003, 08:03 PM

My chapter had a resignation problem for awhile and we wound up writing into our bylaws a set of rules that makes resignation harder.

1. Woman must begin process 6 weeks before start of semester in which she wants resignation to become active

2. Has to interview with chapter president, alumnae advisors, and two members of chapter executive board

3. Must fill out all paperwork and write a letter to be read to the chapter after her resignation is effective

We have only had two resignations in the year and a half since the rules have become effective

Lunarwolf · #8 08-11-2003, 02:31 AM

Wow. Those rules are actually a good idea. It would give us time enough for a heads up to see what we're doing wrong and whether or not whatever reasons a sister's deactivating can be resolved.

GPhiBLtColonel · #9 08-11-2003, 03:06 AM

Assuming your national bylaws so state, get their badges back now! It makes me cringe to see badges being sold on ebay. If the girls change their minds after talking to higher-ups, their badges can be returned.

33girl · #10 08-11-2003, 10:05 AM

This is definitely unacceptable...I don't know why someone would even think that you can just say "ding dong, I quit!" in an email. There are so many things screwed up with this...doing it over the summer for starters, not going through national procedure...the lack of brainpower of some college students just boggles my mind.

aephi alum · #11 08-11-2003, 10:49 AM

I agree that an out-of-the-blue email resignation is the wrong way to handle things. If a member is having problems with her or his GLO, the mature thing to do, is to talk to people and give the GLO a fair chance to address whatever the issue might be. Email is an ok way to get the word out to sisters who are scattered everywhere for the summer, but it's no substitute for the actual resignation process.

But the fact is, this woman won't be at recruitment this year. You can try to tell her that her resignation was too close to the start of rush and that she's required to be at rush anyway - but do you think she'll listen? Besides, what would she say to PNMs at parties? You can try to fine her for not showing up to rush, but you think she'd pay?

Good luck - I hope you can round up some alums or members of other chapters to help you out with recruitment.

Katey Alpha Gam · #12 08-11-2003, 01:20 PM

I think that you should definately try to talk to them and get an answer. But it seriously could be worse. I've known of ppl who get ticked off days before recruitment, while they are on committee, give their little their badge and are never heard from again. But if your national or local don't have a rule on it, you can't deny a girl resignation. And I mean even if you could, whats to stop her from just not showing up anymore and you have to deaffiliate her yourself in the long run?

breathesgelatin · #13 08-11-2003, 04:33 PM

nucutiepie--that is the BEST idea. I'm going to share that with our exec soon!

Fortunately, we haven't had the problem of people 'broadcasting' their deactivation (which should be nipped in the bud), but we have had a lot of problems with people not understanding the difference between resigning/deactivating and applying for early alumna/collegiate alumna status. We usually have a few early alums at our school and people deactivate thinking they can reactivate if their financial situation improves or that they will be treated the same as early alums. We've been trying to resolve that--because several of our deactivated members were purely because of financial reasons, but because of misinformation or other reasons they didn't apply for early alum status. It's difficult to negotiate, because of course they're still friends with us, and they want to help our chapter, but they're not technically members....

Lunarwolf · #14 08-11-2003, 10:01 PM

Guess what? It gets better.

The aforementioned girl (hereby referred to as 'Mary.') who was the first to resign has had problems with the sorority for the past year. Throughout the spring semester after losing to other girls for the positions of president, VP, and treasurer, Mary'd been broadcasting loudly about leaving and starting her own sorority, and taking the second resignee, who I'll call Lou, with her.

I talked to Lou last night via AIM, and Mary's name came up when I pointed out that email resigs aren't valid, because procedure (and etiquette!) demands a hand written note; that the chapter has to vote to accept the resignation letter; and that Mary had discussed this seriously with our chapter president before the start of summer. All of which Lou responded to with,"Oh. But Mary said..."

Now I'm getting really pissed off. I find it highly unlikely that Lou would have decided to deactivate all on her own, because during the semester we all admitted that we were all overloaded and seriously thinking about quitting, but we helped each other through it. With everyone scattered in the summer, there's no buffer zone, no chance for us to notice any problems. Mary took advantage of this, and I regret ever having sympathy for her and her problems and issues. There's bitter, and then there's just vengeful.

If I were anywhere near Mary right now I'd slug her. Drastic? Yes. Poor self control? Yes. Unladylike decorum? Hells yeah. Do I think it'd be worth it?

*blissful daydreaming, then sudden bumpy return to reality*

Then we'd get sued, have all sorts of news about hazing because it was 'sorority related,' and she would win in the end. *sigh*.

pinkyphimu · #15 08-11-2003, 11:53 PM

stay cool! mary is old news, but maybe with a conversation between lou and your advisors, you may be able to save her! if you tell her that you don't accept the resignation, tell her she has to come to rush, etc. and she doesn't show....you can fine her, and she will have to pay! all financial obligations must be satisfied before she can leave the chapter. your eo can even send the balance to collections! not that i hope this is what you have to do...

if she does come to rush, then she should be paired with another sister at all times!