My first visit to my college was during a scholarship weekend in the spring semester of my senior year of college (I applied there at the last minute at my mom's insistence, so I never went on the junior year visit). I didn't know what to expect when I went there. I knew very little about Greek life other than pop culture stuff.
When I got there, I was staying with two women. One was a Brooke, and one was a Lucas. My official host was Host Lucas. Host Brooke also had a scholarship prospective to host, which was cool. I immediately hit it off with the other freshman being hosted in the room and I felt like we would be BFFFFFFFFFFFF.
I liked the girls I was staying with for the most part. Host Lucas seemed really cool to me especially. We shared the same political views and the same favorite band (rock on!). Host Brooke and Host Lucas were both going through their sorority new member periods. I thought it was cool because even though they were 100% BFFs they joined different sororities. It didn't seem too cliquish to me (HA!!!). They also had cool pledgeship gifts from their big sisters and sorority gear and decorations all over their room, which was cool. However, I couldn't figure out why they joined different ones. Host Lucas made some slightly annoyed reference to the "Host Brooke switching out at the last minute" that I didn't quite understand.
The Brooke seemed a bit more standoffish to me than my official host, the Lucas. I met one of the Brookess pledge sisters, who lived two doors down from my hosts. She took me to breakfast one day when my two hosts didn't want to/couldn't go... I told her I didn't drink. Two Doors Down Brooke immediately responded that this school was not a school for people who didn't drink. Anyone who didn't drink would be uncomfortable and probably not get into a sorority. She actually flat out told me I should not choose to go to this college. That made me feel really bad. I decided already right then that Lucas seemed way more cool than Brooke because maybe Brooke was all about drinking. In fact Host Brooke had illegal alcohol in her dorm room (it was banned in dorms at my college) and told me all her strategies for doing that and even demonstrated some. Then a bunch of other girls on the hall (in the bathrooms getting ready for bed, no less) mentioned to me that Two Doors Down who commanded me not to go to this school was a "shacker." I didn't know what this meant. They explained that it meant she always slept in boys' rooms... I guess her boyfriend's?? To this day I don't know if she had a boyfriend at that point or not. It really shocked me (wow, I seem so prudish to me now).
One night we were there we went out to some fraternity parties. We went to an off-campus party hosted by "Soccer Frat" and one hosted by "Skinny Awkward Funny Southern Frat." At the Soccer Frat party, my hosts immediately left me and started drinking. I didn't think much of them leaving me because I had other people I knew there. I joined a big group of other scholarship students, most of whom also didn't drink. That made me feel more comfortable, although I got the sense that some of the college students thought we SHOULD be drinking. Whatever. I did meet a few belligerently drunk scholarship students. That really surprised me from my high school experience because I assumed that good students from nice families didn't drink (uh yeah, was I protected, or what??).
I ended up meeting a guy from Soccer Frat that really liked me and kept flirting with me. I ended up going back to his fraternity houses with a bunch of other people. I immediately got very uncomfortable because there was a big group of people smoking pot in the group once we got there. I'd never seen that before. I didn't participate, but I didn't comment on it either. I was trying to be cool! I wanted to be cool so bad! I ended up making out with him in his room for a while, until his roommate came back home.
When I got back, Host Brooke and Host Lucas were surprised I'd hung out with Soccer Frat guy. They seemed really supportive and raved about what a cool guy he was, though. I'd told them I had an on-again, off-again long distance HS boyfriend... eeeeeeeeeeeep. Looking back on this, I cringe. Not necessarily that I made out - my HS boyfriend definitely "dated around" a bit too - but that I told them this. BAD CALL. The other hosted student had also made out, but with another prospective student.
FLASH FORWARD SIX MONTHS!!!
Based on my fun experience at the visit (and the fact that I won a scholarship), I decided to go to this university. Based on the other scholarship students I thought it would be OK if I didn't drink. I wasn't totally sure if I would join a sorority. My parents were opposed to it. I was sort of attracted to it because Hosts Brooke and Lucas talked it up so much, but I was worried about Two Doors Down, who'd insisted you couldn't get in if you didn't drink.
I ended up requesting to room with the girl who was also hosted by Brooke & Lucas, and I'll now refer to her as 20something Roommate
A few notes about the fallout from my college visit. I don't know how much the making out thing reflected on me back then. I do think Host Brooke and Host Lucas were extremely nice and welcoming to me on the visit but were not interested in rushing me once I enrolled. They never really spoke to me once I got to school. It quickly became apparent to me that they and their sororities probably had little interest in me, because having hosted me was an obvious "in" if they'd wanted me and these girls seemed to avoid me like the plague. So immediately I had a so-so impression of both sororities, and a borderline negative one about Brooke, because of the drinking and "shacking" from Two Doors Down. For a while if I met a Brooke or Lucas I would say "Oh yeah, I was hosted by your sister Host Brooke or Host Lucas!" Then I LATER found out that a girl who'd stayed with them later in the year - during accepted students day, which was after scholarship weekend - evidently had sex with a Lucas member's boyfriend! ACK! So I still wonder if some people thought I was *that* hosted student. EEP!
To top it all off, the Soccer Frat member I made out with was going through a weird time. Evidently, sometime in the spring term after I met him, he was sexually assaulted by his RA (a male). The RA was kicked out of school. I believe the Soccer Frat member eventually dropped out of school. But it was weird because I'd called him when I got to school (which he'd told me to do) and he was distant and seemed unhappy. Whatever! I didn't care too much. I did talk to 20something Roommate about the situation as well as some other freshman, which again, I think was a bad idea.
I'll pick up tomorrow with a post about the events of my orientation week!!
I also found out that my Big Sister was a member of Brooke. Strike Two (or was it Three?) for Brooke!
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