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Management of Members - Can Brotherhood/Sisterhood Pride Go Too Far?
I spent a bit of time searching through the numerous threads in regards to membership relations (from the standpoint of the Greek Rush system to Chapter Operations). There are so many of them that maybe I've overlooked a thread that is exactly like or is similar to the one I'm about to begin below here.
First off, my sisterhood, The Topaz Club, is not Greek. It has been in existence for almost 6 years now. It operates mostly at our online community (which is for its members), and we are slowly starting to connect in person. We do have pockets of members in some cities around the US who have already met up in person (our main TTC base is in Chicago). There is a something of a collective mind as far as identification with the sisterhood is concerned, even though we don't operate anywhere near on the same level as that of a Greek-lettered organization. But there is a sisterhood frame of thinking amongst the members, nonetheless, and this is probably the only similarity that I see between my sisterhood and your organizations.
I visit this forum from time to time to observe the interactions of members of Greek organizations (both fraternity and sororities) to understand how they operate so that I can understand the dynamics of my own sisterhood...and I am The Topaz Club's Founder.
Here is the the question I'm deeply interested in comparing notes on, in connection to member management - as well as that of the attitudes of already-existing members in your organizations:
--> Have any of you ever had the following situations happen in your organizations?
1) Rushees coming to your parties with the air and attitude that they're already a member of your organization (even though they haven't received bids yet)...who will wear your letters, sing your songs, and even have the air amongst members and chapter officers that they're already a member - if not, then more of a member of your organization than you are?
[I won't be surprised if there'll be a lot of "YES"es to this one]
2) Pledges who have been recently accepted into your organization who are *proud* to belong to your organization - who flaunt your organization's letters, are quick to correct other members (and even officers) on whatever the culture of your organization is, and will even go so far as to imply that they're more legitimately a member of your organization than thou?
3) Newly-Initiated members who, once again, are *proud* to have been initiated into your organization, who now will be excellent in being involved in the activities - and even politics - of your organization, but will become overly-involved in many affairs - who will then carry the air about themselves that they are more legitimately a member of your organization than thou - and maybe even your organization's Founders too-?...and may even go so far as to step on other members and officers' toes with the way in which they're interacting with everyone in your chapter..and even in how they approach your chapter officers?
The reason why I'm asking these 3 questions is because I've already had one former member at my sisterhood who was recently removed from it because of being too involved at my sisterhood's online community...putting up too many posts - and many of them, however good and relevant they were towards my sisterhood's mission, were ones that were finding too many faults with the sisterhood (and even the Founder). Quite a few sisters, I discovered, were angered by her attitude about herself in relation to the concept of my sisterhood and found her attitude to be too militant and too partial to the point where she was creating an air of divisiveness within the circle. She was also taking on leadership roles that were not ones for her to begin with (including taking charge of the care of the online community's members' needs). She basically and point blank had the attitude that "I'm the real Topaz deal and some of you all really are not".
We don't have a constitution that governs how to manage conflicts with members or that governs how to discipline members. I am in charge of the online community, so I had to handle this situation as tactfully and as carefully as possible with everyone there. I got input privately from other members about this former member before making my decision to escort her to the door (and quite a few members to whom I spoke did not speak favorably of her..even in person at one of our sisterhood gatherings where she was not present). Since the final decision about keeping/removing members rests in my hands, I had actually decided for her to stay with us and for this to become a learning/bonding experience for everyone...and for misunderstandings to be cleared up. BUT, I removed her because she created another online community while recruiting my Topaz members to join it (in light of this situation)..which was divisive and rude..which made me distrust her actual motives in regards to her involvement in/with the Topaz sisterhood.
There are two things here that I'm trying to get a grip on understanding:
1) the dynamism of collective thinking of fraternal organizations - meaning, how alike in attitude towards the brotherhood/sisterhood are all members? How alike in attitude towards the brotherhood/sisterhood should all members be?
2) And what about the organization's culture? Should all members (potential members, or rushees as you define them to be) show a common connection to your organization's culture? Can a rushee/pledge/newly-initiated member show too much of a connection to the idealism of the culture (and too much pride) where he/she actually end up alienating himself/herself from the actual bondship of the membership?
As I said before, my Topaz sisterhood doesn't operate anywhere near on the level of a Greek-lettered organization, but it is a sisterhood nonetheless that has formed a culture of its own over the past 6 years, as well as core set of values that the former member about whom I'm speaking also didn't understand or didn't begin to fit into from the beginning.
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