My AI path home

[SquirrelyDays]

Hey, all! I have been reading lots of recruitment stories recently and enjoying them, and I thought I would share my memories of my own path to Sisterhood, circa 1991.

I'm the only girl in my immediate family, and as a teen I was a little awkward. (If I'm honest with myself, I think I still am). I attended a church school for elementary and a magnet program in high school, so I never really had neighborhood friends growing up, and I always felt a little out of place. I lived in an unincorporated neighborhood on the edge of a very expensive suburb in the south, so when I was bused in to the high school I was definitely a fish out of water. I never had the "right" clothes or accessories, but it didn't bother me much because I love love love school and reading and knowledge, and found my spot with kids like that. I was on Quiz Bowl and the literary magazine and took two foreign languages. I'm a teacher now.

Although my mother participated in her sorority in college, her involvement as an alumna was limited... until I got to high school. At that point she started bringing me along occasionally to social and service activities that were appropriate: the annual fundraiser, the holiday brunch with the collegiates, the shrimp and corn boil with families in the summer. She didn't attend those activities without me, and they were not a high priority on our calendar, but whenever the stars aligned we went.

The women I met were FUNNY and loved each other completely. They sang silly recruitment songs, including ones that would certainly not be sung today. They told great stories about their college memories. And they were all DIFFERENT - the head of the Shakespeare festival volunteer corps, the wife of a mayor, Junior Leaguers, teachers, a raging Republican and a devout Democrat at the same table, stay at home moms and working women and grandmas. There was only one active collegiate Chapter of the organization in the state at the time, so the majority of the women in the alumnae club came from that one university. I went to that house a few times when we were in the college town visiting family, and my mother introduced me to some of her pledge class Sisters and showed me which rooms she stayed in and described how things were different but also the same from when she lived there.

And then it was time for college. There were really only 2 choices for me when I chose a college: the one my parents both went to, and the other major state school. I was a snotty little "do my own thing" teen and ONLY applied to the other major state school. (They had offered me a large scholarship which really made my choice for me, but I COULD have asked my parents' school if they would match the scholarship. I chose not to. #regrets) I am the only member of my extended family to attend that school, and rivalry week is interesting to say the least.

Here's the kicker: remember there was only one active collegiate Chapter of my mother's sorority in the state. My legacy house was not at the school that offered me a scholarship, the school I chose.

[SquirrelyDays]

So off to college.
The scholarship I was offered was merit-based. I test really well, and as we know I like school, so my "numbers" were really good. I signed up to live in the Honors dorms on campus, and I decided I would rush. As high school wound down, a few of the girls in my senior class who planned to attend my mom's school asked her for a recommendation for recruitment. I did not do this. I did not collect any recommendations, at all. My mother did not suggest that I do so - remember she wasn't super involved, and probably didn't know whether they were really necessary.

Recruitment occurred the week before school started. We had to get permission to move into the dorms early. There were a handful of women who were participating in recruitment on my floor - including my next door neighbor. Boy, did I admire her. She was polished and friendly, and always wore an amazing perfume that was just right - not too strong, but not forgettable. Her outfits were lovely. MY outfits were just the best things in my closet. I did not buy anything extra or special for recruitment. I waffled between "oh I really hope people like me" and "this is all so silly." I am absolutely a joiner and an extrovert, and I liked the idea of belonging to a Sisterhood, but I definitely had gotten an earful of "Greeks are just buying their friends" from someone, so I really wasn't sure it was for me.

[SquirrelyDays]

Now, my college had TONS of NPC houses. The first round of recruitment was spread over 2 days so everyone could visit every house right off the bat. The majority of the houses were all in one area of campus. One house was a short walk away, and one organization had just been installed but did not yet have a house. I was excited to visit the houses, but I didn't know a lot about the individual organizations.

This was long long ago, but I have a few clear memories:
Kappa Kappa Gamma had my favorite skit.
Delta Gamma had a wonderful Sisterhood song.

When I was leaving one house I took a paper napkin embossed with the sorority monogram with me - I didn't realize that wasn't allowed.

At one house I ended up alone in a room with my rusher. I didn't realize that wasn't allowed either - but her reaction sure made it obvious. She panicked and started to leave the room to go find other recruitment pairs to join us, but then didn't want me to be left alone. It turned out she was a sophomore and it was her first time recruiting.

At one house I was paired with another PNM to speak with one active Sister. I found out later that this was one of the smallest organizations on campus, which make sense, but at the time I just remember feeling a little ignored. I didn't fit with what the house was looking for, and the other PNM was really obviously a perfect match. Makes sense now.

Of course, in retrospect I know these things about myself:
- I was really unfashionable.
- I was trying too hard.
- I listened too much to the tent talk.

At the beginning I really didn't have any specific opinions about organizations, but the tent talk was very persuasive. The Rho Chi tried to remind us all to keep an open mind, but I was surprised that I didn't have many parties the second round, and disappointed that I didn't get asked back to the "top tier". I think my GPA might have been the only thing that got me invited back anywhere.

In the end, I decided not to attend Prefs.

[SquirrelyDays]

Of course that wasn't the end.

After Bid Day I was invited to COB parties with the organization that didn't have a house yet. I didn't know anything about that, either. I was certainly a blank slate! By that point classes had started, and my time was filling up. I enjoyed the ice cream social, etc, and getting into an organization right at the start definitely was appealing, but at the same time it wasn't on the same footing as the other houses. (That organization isn't represented at the school anymore, by the way.) So, I didn't accept the COB offer.

While I was at college I met so many amazing women!
I worked with an Alpha Chi Omega and a Delta Sigma Theta, and we made a great team. They were both so warm, and such strong, capable women!
The Sigma Kappas were super sweet, and I'm still friends with some of them today.
I considered participating in recruitment again as a sophomore, but I was really involved with my area housing association and a service organization. As a junior I already started my graduate-level education studies, so time was in short supply from then on, and rushing that late was really no longer an option.

And with all of this, I continued to occasionally participate with my mother's alumnae club back home. The Sisters were comfortable and supportive, and I wished I had that as my own, not just on my mother's coattails. Collegiates from my mom's school would come to things during breaks, too, and every event was better and better - even if half the women were twice my age or more.

As I'm sure you already realized, my legacy organization is one of those which have Alumnae Initiation. I didn't think of it while I was at school - and I probably didn't know about it at the time - but the Sisters in the alum club absolutely were discussing it. The moment I graduated from college, their plans became clear. One woman had kept her pledge pin (shocking!) and they pinned it on me at the next annual luncheon and invited me to join.

[thetalady]

What a lovely story! Thank you for sharing it.

[UVASquirrel]

I am so glad you decided to share your story!! I am honored to call you a dear dear friend and I'm so thrilled that you are also my sister.

[TLLK]

Thank you for sharing your AI story with us. So happy that you found a sisterhood with Alpha Gamma Delta.

[SquirrelyDays]

Thank you so much for your responses. I was planning to write more, but this weekend I was installed as Alumnae Chapter President for my area for the next 2 years, so I was a little busy. And yes, if you know your mascots then you know I'm an Alpha Gam. <3

I think it's valuable to know that in Alpha Gamma Delta our Alumnae Initiates are true members, not honorary members. We even have had a very effective International President who was an AI. Meeting her was a definite thrill!

My initiation took place at our international convention, which was amazing! Many of our AI women are the mothers of collegiate Sisters, but the year I was initiated we had:
*the mother of an Alpha Gam
*the sister of an Alpha Gam
*the daughter of an Alpha Gam (me)
*a woman who had pledged Alpha Gam in college but never initiated
*a woman who was a coworker of an Alpha Gam who was drawn to our Sisterhood
It was a great representation of who joins after college age, and a heady moment. All those amazing alums who had been my friends for 8 years (HS + college) traveled to convention to celebrate with me. So touching!

I continued as a member of that alumnae club for 7 years. I volunteered in lots of different spots and traveled to the nearest collegiate Chapter to help with recruitment and support. I got to see another Chapter installed in our state. My alumnae Sisters celebrated my engagement with our pinning song, and came to celebrate my wedding. My only attendant/maid of honor is an Alpha Gam. When my daughter was born early and in the NICU my Sisters organized dinners for us, and bought preemie clothes and brought them to the hospital all laundered because nothing we had would fit her. Every place I've lived I have looked for Alpha Gams and joined the alumnae groups nearest me. I'm currently active in a Chapter where I've been serving in whatever capacity was needed for the past 11 years, and the women I have met through this Sisterhood enrich my days. I hope we can help more collegiate women lean in to that understanding of lifelong Sisterhood so that they can truly say "it's not 4 years, it's for life."

I've been bringing my daughter to events since she was born. At the beginning it was a child-care issue - I couldn't be there if she couldn't come. But more and more she WANTED to come, and so I'm hoping that as she's watched from the sidelines she's a little better prepared for what recruitment will be like for her in 2 years. She may not choose to join an organization at all, but it won't be that she's not offered a spot because her clothes are frumpy and she can't make conversation, that's for darn sure. Whatever HER path turns out to be is fine (but my fingers are crossed, lol).

I love having that extra bond with my mom, who is also my Sister-Mother. It's been an honor to live the Purpose the best I can, and I'm really looking forward to what the next days will bring. Thanks for reading!

[LouisaMay]

As an AI myself, I loved your story! Thank you for sharing!

[AGDee]

What a beautiful story! So glad you're part of our sisterhood