quarter life crisis

etahannah · #1 10-14-2003, 07:48 PM

does anyone else feel like this? because this pretty much sums up my life right now. (this is a little long..)

They call it the "quarter life crisis". It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at you job…and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future, and making a life for yourself…and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and in our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

smiley21 · #2 10-14-2003, 07:49 PM

it is hell to go through

cashmoney · #3 10-14-2003, 07:53 PM

I've went through that era more than once, its just my up season right now. Spring time usually gets to be pretty crappy for me.

mu_agd · #4 10-14-2003, 08:11 PM

i feel like i've been going through this for the past two years... i was just thinking the other day about how i was still in it..

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 10-14-2003, 08:15 PM

I don't think that it is really a crisis. It is about leaving adolescence behind and seeing the world as an adult.

smiley21 · #6 10-14-2003, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
I don't think that it is really a crisis. It is about leaving adolescence behind and seeing the world as an adult.

but it sure feels like an identity crisis

SH8O · #7 10-14-2003, 08:48 PM

Has anyone read the book Quater Life Crisis ?

It's even more depressing than the original post.

etahannah · #8 10-14-2003, 08:51 PM

no i didnt know there was a book. my friend gave me this to read one day. i dont even know who wrote it...

hum...interesting

Optimist Prime · #9 10-14-2003, 09:42 PM

life sucks no matter how old you are

at least its not puberty!

bethany1982 · #10 10-14-2003, 09:45 PM

Reality can be a bitch. It seems to me that everything listed in the original post are normal parts of life.

adduncan · #11 10-15-2003, 12:49 AM

Been there, done that, burned the T-shirt.

I'll handle my 35th b-day OK, 40 will be interesting.

Great post!

Adrienne

cashmoney · #12 10-15-2003, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bethany1982
Reality can be a bitch.

So can Greek Chat.

DeltAlum · #13 10-15-2003, 01:00 AM

The good news is that later you won't remember too many specifics. But here's what I do remember.

You're out of the High School/College party hearty age, out in the workforce, but not yet making great wages and still have all of the bills and responsibilities. You start realizing that you thought you were an adult several years ago, but didn't really understand the ramifications of that. You also begin realizing that life is passing a little more quickly than you really want it to.

If you have children, that exaserbates the problems even more -- especially the finances and lack of personal time. What is really scary is that you find out that your parents were right about a whole lot of stuff.

Later on, you will face a whole new set of problems, but maybe you get used to dealing with them and they don't hit as hard. Experience is a good, but tough teacher. At least that's the way it is for some, I think most, of us.

One good thing is that for a lot of us it isn't as important to be "right" all of the time. Maybe that's because we realize that we aren't.

In terms of chronological age, I found my 25th birthday to be the one that struck me most. Thirty, forty and even fifty didn't have as much impact on me as that "quarter of a century."

Sorry for the rambling, but as I said earlier, the specifics are like pain -- you don't really remember it/them.

mullet81 · #14 10-15-2003, 01:29 AM

i just read the story of my life... and i'll only be 22 in 2 weeks - not even a quarter life!! i have noticed though, the older i get, the bullshit in life matters less and less

cashmoney · #15 10-15-2003, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mullet81
i have noticed though, the older i get, the bullshit in life matters less and less

So true.