Acting up in school? You might get put out on the street!

enigma_AKA · #1 11-18-2005, 12:27 PM

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10075910/

I don't know what everyone else thinks, but I thought I'd post it here to see some thoughts...

Bad idea? Good idea? Something you would do?

enigma_AKA

Phasad1913 · #2 11-18-2005, 12:43 PM

Well, like the mom said in the article, I am not an expert and I think it is worth it to think about the psychological impact such action may have on the daughter, but to be honest, I think there are MANY other psychologically damaging things that are or had been going on in the child's life that were causing her attention span to shorten and her grades to slip. I think parents are running out of old fashioned options that they have at their disposal that can counteract the newer-aged and more recent developments of social and cultural influences that kids face today. I know my mom, for example, has totally gotten to a point where she has no clue what to do with my teenaged sister. The tactics she used for my older sister and me simply don't work with my younger sister.

So, the short answer is: I dunno. I am glad that this parent is trying something, ANYTHING to get through to her daughter and, who knows, maybe when she gets older, she will remember how much her parents loved her and wanted her to do well rather than look back on it and be ashamed or whatever the negative consequences the pros are saying she will suffer as a result of this technique.

AKA2D '91 · #3 11-18-2005, 01:14 PM

IMO, it's TOUGH LOVE at its best. I now am in charge of Special Education students who act up or out. They hate being with me because:
1. it's known they are in special ed;
2. they lose ALL priviledges;
3. it's humiliating to them;

Some students don't really realize what is waiting for them once they are "of age". Yes, they do go through things. They have these labels/excuses (ADHD, ADD, BAD, etc) that protect them while in school, but once they exit or graduate, those labels do not mean ANYTHING! Many families use these "disabilities" as a crutch. Like I've discussed with my colleagues, I've never seen an article depict a criminal as:

John Doe, Learning Disabled/Behavior Disorder, Attention Defecit, 25, charged with breaking and entering....

If this worked for the mother and the student has her act together...fine! It may not work for all students, but it's a start for them. Every parent has to find what works best for them.

AlphaFrog · #4 11-18-2005, 01:32 PM

I think it's genius. If she learned her lesson...which it appered she did...then I think it worked perfectly.

enigma_AKA · #5 11-18-2005, 02:00 PM

Well said!! I agree with pretty much all that's been said. I had kinda expected some to be like 'How could this mother do this?'

Tough love works...

enigma_AKA

Quote:

Originally posted by Phasad1913
[M]aybe when she gets older, she will remember how much her parents loved her and wanted her to do well rather than look back on it and be ashamed or whatever the negative consequences the pros are saying she will suffer as a result of this technique.

hoosier · #6 11-18-2005, 02:19 PM

There's a debate in many schools: expell a kid who disrupts class repeatedly, and put him/her on the street, or keep him/her in school and hope he improves.

I suspect in the typical 1,000 student HS, if a committee of admins and teachers picked the 20 worst kids, told these kids that one more incident and they're gone (and actually did it), a bunch of problems would be solved.

wrigley · #7 11-18-2005, 02:22 PM

It's a creative way for her mom to get it through to her daughter that without education, she can end up on the street.

At least that mom isn't fingering pointing at the school or society for her daughter's behavior.

[B]While Henderson stood next to her daughter at the intersection, a passing motorist called police with a report of psychological abuse, and an Oklahoma City police officer took a report[B]

Was it necessary for the police to get involved?

Dionysus · #8 11-18-2005, 02:59 PM

Since it worked, I guess it's okay. Otherwise, I think "tough love" discipline should be used as last resort.

AKA2D '91 · #9 11-18-2005, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hoosier
I suspect in the typical 1,000 student HS, if a committee of admins and teachers picked the 20 worst kids, told these kids that one more incident and they're gone (and actually did it), a bunch of problems would be solved.

Typical @ 1000?

Pre-Katrina our enrollment was 1800+, now we are down to a comfortable size of 1300.

It's not that cut and dry. No, you would find yourself in court...

squirrely girl · #10 11-18-2005, 08:08 PM

i have to go with the idea that most children don't just wake up one morning and become little @$$es - something in the raising prior to those ages contributed.

parents should ask themselves - how am i raising my 2 year old or 5 year old? cause eventually they will be a 15 year old and the problems will only get worse.

parents who let their 5 year olds get away with all kinds of $hit will have heinous 15 year olds.

- marissa

edited to add - but if the parent screwed up 10 years ago - hell yah, tough love is a better way to fix it than other options.

AGDee · #11 11-18-2005, 08:32 PM

I totally believe in natural and logical consequences and I think this mother is definitely trying, but I think there are steps she could have taken before she got to this point that may have been even more productive. Take her to a soup kitchen and have her work to feed the homeless. Find a couple of patrons who regret dropping out of school and have them tell her like it is, etc.

I asked my 11 year old daughter what she thought of the article and she said that she thinks it is fair.

Peaches-n-Cream · #12 11-18-2005, 08:59 PM

Is this considered tough love? It doesn't seem that tough. She stood on a corner wearing a sign for an hour. No biggie. I've seen a lot worse in NYC from both kids and parents.

I do think that the daughter might benefit from some type of counseling just to determine if the girl's behavior is normal adolescent snarkiness or if she has dyslexia or another type of learning disability.

What is DHS? I am assuming it's family or children's services. Am I correct?

Edited to fix a typo.

Phasad1913 · #13 11-18-2005, 09:17 PM

Department of Human Services, I think.

Peaches-n-Cream · #14 11-19-2005, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Phasad1913
Department of Human Services, I think.

Thanks! I couldn't figure out the H in DHS.

DeltAlum · #15 11-21-2005, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by squirrely girl
i have to go with the idea that most children don't just wake up one morning and become little @$$es - something in the raising prior to those ages contributed.

I would agree with the above, but how would you explain one "bad" child in a family of several -- all raised by the same parents in the same way?

Putting total blame on the parents is just too simple. Nothing is that easy. There has to be a combination of factors somewhere along the line it would seem to me.