sororities

anonymous · #1 09-23-2000, 01:12 PM

ok, i know this isn't the spirirt of sisterhood, but i have to get this out. maybe some of you feel the same way as me. i just joined a new sorority...the one that i felt most comfortable in and the one where i knew i would end up being great friends with all the sisters. i'm not concerned with being in the most popular sorority because i get along with people from all of the sororities on my campus. my problem is this one girl who got a bid and she is now going to be in my pledge class. she is so weird (i'm sorry but i just have to get all of this out!) she wears her hair in braids, thick colored glasses, and she has a mustache!!! i seriously don't know what the sisters were thinking when they invited her back-she desn't even talk. i respect them for giving her a chance, and that is part of the reason why i admire them, but you have to draw a line somewhere. i don't know how long i can be nice to her. she came running up to me at this frat party the other night and just stood by me. it was kind of annoying. i know that she is going to be my sister and all, but it is a little embarrassing telling people tht she is my sister. i feel so bad saying that, but it's the truth. sorry, but i had to get all of this out. i don't want to sound mean, but i don't know how i will be able to deal with this.

12dn94dst · #2 09-23-2000, 02:05 PM

Can we be a little more catty? Sounds like you have a SERIOUS sisterhood challenge on your hands. Have you taken the time to talk to her, to get to know her, or do you plan to "tolerate" her because you feel you have to? It's not your place to "know what the sisters were thinking when they invited her back." And it's DEFINETLY not yours to say where they should "draw the line." That was their call, not yours. Maybe this girl made her bid for this sorority because she felt, just as you did, that she would be accepted and make friends.

It's girls like you who, in my OPINION, are part of the reason why women in sororities are stereotyped as being stuck-up, catty, bitches. She is your sister and she will be until one of you depledges or transfers or graduates or however else y'all disassociate yourselves from membership. You want to know how you'll be able to deal with this? Take the time to get to know her, that's how. You may be someone she admires but she may not quite know how to tell you. You're on your way to becoming greek and like it or not, you're a role model. This time next year, girls will be deciding to make their bids based on your actions not only toward them, but also toward your own sisters. That's something to think about, isn't it?

#3 09-23-2000, 02:20 PM

Well, 12dn94dst has said the things I was wondering whether I should say.

So I'll simply ask some questions.

Did you ever consider that perhaps the active sisters took the time to find in this woman the things you have not? Perhaps she's a great student, or very involved in service to the community. Have you even asked what her interests are? Or are you too busy judging?

Maybe she comes from a family without your apparent sense of style.

The things you mention are superficial. Nothing that couldn't be fixed by contacts and a fun night of sisterly makeovers. Not that she should have to change just to please you... but maybe she's never had the chance to develop her appearance.

daisymargarita · #4 09-23-2000, 02:22 PM

The last post is right. The girls decided on this girl because something about her made them want her to be their sister. So get to know her! I feel bad because I considered not joining the sorority that I am now pledging just because they weren't the popular ones. But they're real, and they really love all of their sisters. If you're going to have the attitude you have, maybe you belong in one of the stuck-up sororities that only accept girls who look like supermodels.

AXO Alum · #5 09-23-2000, 02:51 PM

I doubt this is even for-real...it sounds very typical of people who just type this kind of stuff to get feathers ruffled. If, however, you are being truthful (still hard to believe), I suggest you "deal" with this by immediately de-pledging. Tell the sisters that you made a big mistake and didn't think that you'd have to pledge with people who weren't like you and that you don't approve of. This would be the best course of action for the entire greek system because you'd be gone and we could continue to unite in true sisterhood. I hope to goodness that you aren't wearing my letters.

And (assuming you are an NPC member since you said you got a bid), it doesn't matter who transfers, graduates, etc. since we are also sisters in our organization for life!

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"Alpha Chi Omega - If you only had 2 wishes, what would your second one be?"

equeen · #6 09-23-2000, 03:20 PM

And we wonder why greeks get such a bad rap!

Quote:

Originally posted by anonymous:
ok, i know this isn't the spirirt of sisterhood....i feel so bad saying that, but it's the truth. sorry, but i had to get all of this out. i don't want to sound mean, but i don't know how i will be able to deal with this.

You're right. It's not in the spirit of sisterhood.

I wouldn't be sorry about speaking my mind (as you have done) - I'd be sorry that I didn't give sisterhood a chance, and get to know my pledge-sister. You obviouly look up to the sorority, you accepted their bid.

Do you know everything of your sorority's vision, their purpose, their goals? Do you really know yet what they're looking for in a sister? If you're not an intiated member yet (I presume not, since you just received your bid, I'm assuming you're still going through education), then you don't know it in full. It's not yours (or anyone else's) place to question why a particular girl got a bid. Obviously, your future sisters found her to be a valuable future sister. Being greek is a privilege, not a right...one that both you and your pledge sister have earned.

Find respect for the sisterhood that extended you a bid, and find respect for yourself. And please, do some soul-searching. The myth about greek life being all glamour and looks stems from just this kind of close-minded prejudice.

This is an opportunity for you, in more ways than one - be sure and make the most of it.

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equeen
A Lioness has her Pride!
@>--;--
Alpha Sigma Kappa - Women in Technical Studies

33girl · #7 09-23-2000, 03:26 PM

MEEEEEEE-OWWWW!!! Care for a bowl of milk and some Tender Vittles?

Anon, if you joined where you felt the most comfy then trust the sisters. They gave this woman a bid for a reason, and it sounds like they are nice women who look behind the superficial. If you can't do that then maybe you are in the wrong sorority.

cash78mere · #8 09-23-2000, 04:23 PM

When you join a sorority, you will not become great friends with all of the members. It is very hard to bond with ALL of your sisters on a close basis, since often there are over 100+ members. But that does not mean that you can't try. No one expects you to find 100 new best friends simply because you share the same letters. But you DO have something in common: your sorority and what it stands for.

If you decide that you ABSOLUTELY cannot become good friends with this girl, leave it at that. Don't overexert yourself and be fake. And DON'T talk trash about her to other people. Obviously, if she was extended a bid, the majority of the initiated sisters like this girl. Just let it be and focus on other things. Whatever you do, don't be rude, mean or disrespectful--instead, just treat her as a casual acquaintance.

Although I love all of my sisters, I can honestly say that I am not great friends with every last one. I would be fooling myself if I thought I was. But I am always friendly to them and treat them as I would want to be treated. (And the same goes for the other way around---I'm sure not everyone considers me to be their close friend.) But that's okay because I do have many great friends that I have made through the sorority. Friendships take effort--on BOTH parts. I know what you mean that sometimes it seems like there is an "oddball" in a pledge class that doesn't seem to fit in with everyone else. Those things happen. But there WAS a reason she was given a bid. You should try to find out on your own what the sisters thought was so special about her.

You will be expected to bond with your pledge class. It is something you should WANT to do, not be FORCED to do.

No one can be friends with everyone. But just remember----although you might not always be friends, you will always be sisters.

DirectorDST99 · #9 09-24-2000, 02:42 AM

HHHMmmm let's see...

1. Hair in braids...DOES THIS REALLY BOTHER YOU? What if she didn't have any hair????

2. Mustache...DID YOU STOP TO THINK THIS COULD BE A HORMONAL PROBLEM?

3. Doesn't talk...PERHAPS SHE'S SHY.

4. Thick colored glasses....Maybe she's can't wear contacts...mayber her glasses are HER style...she can't help the thickness!

If you get along with people in other sororities, why can't you attempt to get along with someone who wants to be in the same sorority as you? I'm sorry, the young lady you speak of is not weird, you are. Weird in in that you think someone is weird because they don't look and dress like you. You need to look further than the exterior of a person and look within!!!!!!!!

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Director #2
LMAC
Spr 99

[This message has been edited by DirectorDST99 (edited September 24, 2000).]

Monique · #10 09-24-2000, 10:40 PM

Sista gyrl.. Its people like u who make your sorority look bad. u need to GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!!

#11 10-02-2000, 09:23 AM

I agree with Monique, this is why everyone thinks that sorority girls are bitches!! Talk about being superficial. It should be the quality of the person and their inner beauty that people look at. Have you ever even tried talking to her. Maybe she thinks that you don't like her. Why don't you take the initiative and talk to her. You need to grow up. This is the part of the reason that sororities have inner conflicts and fall apart.

#12 10-05-2000, 09:48 AM

If you feel embarrassed by her superficial appearance, why don't you do like Cher Horowitz did in "Clueless" and give her a makeover? (be nice and gracious about it). Maybe your sorority could even have a self-image and "putting your best foot forward" night or something, dedicated to personal development for ALL the sorority members.

Try to get to know this person on the inside, and remember that she laughs, cries and feel pain just as you do. At the same time, reach out to her. I noticed that you said she has a mustache...maybe some of the pledges could go to a spa together for some "girly bonding" and beauty treatments...one of the estheticians might discretely suggest a wax for her upper lip. Then hair style, eyeglasses...all those things can be very easily changed.

D-Vine · #13 10-06-2000, 04:36 PM

Monique hit the nail on the head. You need to grow up. The world is full of people who don't look and act like you, that adds to the spice of life. Take time out to get to know her, she might not be as bad as you think she looks.

Crimson Diva · #14 10-07-2000, 12:08 AM

You don't like her? She's Weird? Well guess what? She is in your pledge class soooooo...you are sisters whether you like it or not. Help her-don't hinder. I can see you now- talking about your pledge sister on campus. It will reflect bad on the entire chapter. Maybe YOU should not have been chosen. No wonder greeks can't shake the "stuck up" rap we get

#15 10-07-2000, 06:30 PM

ok, all of you can just calm yourselves down! i wasn't trying to be mean, i was just letting you know how i felt about this one girl in my sorority. i'm sure all of you don't get along with every single sister so don't start criticizing me for it. and another thing...i was never mean to her, i just don't like her that much. i tolerate her because she is my sister, but that's as far as it goes. anyway, i thought some of you might have been in the same situation and i was just trying to get some help...not criticism. maybe you are the ones that have some growing up to do!!!!!!!!