Turning our Backs --- Yes or NO!

[daLuv-n-Desire]

Sorors and SFs,

Reading a few posts on the AKA board, I have started thinking about a few things.

Are we as members of BGLO suppose to turn our backs on those that pledge our organizations that do not uphold the values and ideals of our founders; those that do not remain financial for whatever reason; and those that choose to go against the norm/guidelines (i.e. hazing)?

This is a greek discussion!

~daLuv

[Three_Love]

Originally posted by daLuv-n-Desire
Are we as members of BGLO suppose to turn our backs on those that pledge our organizations that do not uphold the values and ideals of our founders; those that do not remain financial for whatever reason; and those that choose to go against the norm/guidelines (i.e. hazing)?

NO, NO, NO!!!

We are supposed to RECLAIM these sorors! We are supposed to BRING THEM BACK INTO THE FOLD!! We are supposed to REMIND them that this is a LIFETIME COMMITMENT!!

I will NEVER turn my back on ANY soror. Yeah, there are some I don't like personally (LOL), but I still have Delta Love for them and will not turn my back on them. I embrace EVERY soror I meet, whether she's financial or not. All I can do is keep her informed about chapters in her area and activities that are going on in Delta. Only SHE can make the choice to renew her commitment to the sorority, but I will remain steadfast in my attempts to reclaim her and EVERY INACTIVE SOROR THAT I KNOW!!!

I personally think that we (Delta) should have a moratorium on alumnae level intake and focus on RECLAMATION. Most alumnae chapters don't NEED to have intake - we have enough members to run the chapter effectively, and even more inactive sorors in the area who could join in the work effort if we reclaimed them.

[AKA2D '91]

I know how I am. I do not care what the situation WAS, I am always advocating for my sisters to come home. If they would have the SAME passion that I have for the organization, it would be soooo hard to stay away.

Since I have transferred into a LOVING chapter that embraces ANYONE it makes my experiences worthwhile. (though, some try to test ya... )I, too have been bitter, but that was yeaarrrrrrrssssss ago. Being involved has given me a renewed spirit and a better understanding of how the organization really, really works.

We should always embrace. It's mandatory that we try to lead our sisters and brothers in the right direction. For what was in the past IS IN THE PAST. In order for one to grow, one has to let his or her past experiences GO. LET GO AND LET GOD! But, in the end it will be up to the individual to decide which way he or she will go. As long as you have tried to lead them correctly, your part is done.

I was reading minutes from our past Boule and I saw where members were recommended for expulsion. This is a serious thing and I'm not giving up my Precious Pearls for no dayum body! Believe that. We all know right from wrong and people are going to do what he or she wants. Nationals has mandated what is THE LAW, either you are for it or you are against it. If you are against it...that's you. But you'll be an expelled, stipped, sanctioned so and so by yourself. After I've tried to steer you on the right path, you STILL go and do whatever....oh well...

And that's REAL!

[RowdyRed]

Originally posted by Three_Love



I personally think that we (Delta) should have a moratorium on alumnae level intake and focus on RECLAMATION. Most alumnae chapters don't NEED to have intake - we have enough members to run the chapter effectively, and even more inactive sorors in the area who could join in the work effort if we reclaimed them.

Alumnae chapters may appear to have sufficient members in the sense of sheer numbers, but my experience has been that a small percentage actually want to run the chapter and work properly - that's why intake periodically (5-8 years) helps breathe new life into chapter activities. I've been just about every office in my chapter at least once! I also think alumnae chapters need to work more with collegiates in the transition process and that collegiate chapters should be held to task about their transition rates. It should be a 2-way process - there should be some education around the differences between working in a collegiate chapter and working in an alumnae chapter. If there is going to be a moratorium, it needs to be across the board and when collegiate sorors understand their obligation to transfer and remain active then an alumnae moratorium or ban on alumnae MIT period might work. Every reclaimed soror isn't trying to do anything for the Delta chapter she re-joins. Reclamation sometimes requires education on working in Delta and it can be difficult if not handled with love and commitment to Delta as opposed to personal commitment. Delta isn't the Links or the Black Womens Club of city XYZ and that's hard for some folks to hear - you can have a chapter management handbook right in front of them on a particular issue at hand and they will still insist on doing things their way.

As for disassociating with certain Deltas, as long as they have their pearls I would never do that, but if they need a "break" from the sisterhood, I wouldn't stand in the way - take your break - do what you need to do and come back!!

[TRSimon]

Originally posted by daLuv-n-Desire
Are we as members of BGLO suppose to turn our backs on those that pledge our organizations that do not uphold the values and ideals of our founders; those that do not remain financial for whatever reason; and those that choose to go against the norm/guidelines (i.e. hazing)?

I don't think we should turn our backs on those that do not uphold the values and ideals of our founders. Sometimes it takes folks a little longer to wrap their minds around stuff like that. Members who are not financial should also be reached out to and not given up on, but you can only do so much when people don't value the organization. You can't value it for them.

As for those who choose to go against the guidelines, if they made some stupid mistakes in the past, it should be forgiven with a watchful eye. If they continue to go against the guidelines (and in most cases, the law), they are a threat to the organization and they simply must go. FOREVER.

IMHO,
TRSimon

[skywalker20_99]

No!! We don't turn our backs on them. That wouldn't be brotherly or sisterly. We should do what we can to reclaim them and to remind them of the the principles of the organization that they made a commitment to uphold for life. I also think its important to do the same with individuals that are members of other organizations.

[sphinxpoet]

Always be Brotherly/Sisterly........however not everyone should be reclaimed.........

Sphinxpoet

[Indigo1913]

When we joined our beloved sisterhood or brotherhood, we should have done it for the right reasonsin the first place. I would not willingly turn my back on a soror, however, if I was in a position to speak to her regarding a behavior that was determental to her and the sorority, I would. As for turning your back on a member that is not fiancial that is out of the head thinking. You have no idea what is going on in that person's life. Instead of looking down your nose, dig in your pocket and offer to pay some of his or her dues. Personally, I was very active in undergrad however, life changed several years after graduation. Being a single parent with two children can put a dent in anyones pocketbook. However, I still upheld the tenets of Delta, participating on the community council of my son's day care center, working with delinquent youth and helping to turn their lives around. Isn't that what our founders wanted? Then there is the matter of time. Would your rather have a soror who is fiancial, but doesn't have time to fully particpate in chapter activities or one who says. I will become fully active when I can fully comitt to my local chapter. Truefully, I'd rather have a soror who is honest about what she can comitt to at the time. Let's not be so short sighted that we make our sisters and brothers feel unwanted and shuned because of $$$$ And that's my 22 cents

[Happydaysf91]

No, as others have expressed, we shouldn't turn our backs on these members who are inactive for various reasons. We should try to bring them back into the fold. Many times, I find individuals aren't active because they just don't 'know' how to get involved. A lot of people are inactive because of the way some of 'us' act -- we shun people because of 'large' lines/ their process/ when they pledged (pre-90/post-90/people; what level they pledged on grad v. undergrad.... Therefore, we shouldn't turn our backs on these folks, but we should shower them with love and bring them back. We created these monsters...now its our responsibility....

Now as far as hazing...I think there should be a zero tolerance rule. Skeeriously...or atleast make the punishment harsher. We have no choice but to turn our backs on these individuals. They are going to be the death of us. And personally, I don't know about any of you......but I'm sick and tired of my funds (National dues) going towards lawsuits for illegal activity that I didn't participate in -- I didn't get a greeting; I didn't get any money; I didn't hit anybody; nobody was serenading me all night....so why should WE be left with these bills. And we, BGLO, are going to start having to 'turn' on these individuals. We can't say you are my sister/brother no matter what......and turn around and fund their legal activity -- they are eating us alive and going against our precious rules! If you love your organization/sisters/brothers.....you wouldn't do anything to jepordize it/them. Not only are they hurting us financially, but reputation wise as well -- a lot of people look at a lot of BGLO as simply glorified gangs. I'm not having that.....uh, uh.......

As far as moratoriums -- I don't feel like some members - that we should have a moratorium on graduate/undergraduate intake. While we are trying to 'reclaim'...the work of organization must go on. Heck, reclaiming has been a focus (underlining at least) of all our organizations since the beginning. People are coming back....but I know at least for AKA...we still have a lot of Sorors out there who are inactive. Should we cut off our bloodline (new, active, energetic individuals) while we wait for 'Sorors' to come home?

My question (on the flip side and to add to the question at hand) what do we do about members who just don't want to be active/involved? What about the members who thinks of our organizations as collegiate based or just don't care anymore (pledged for the wrong reason). And yes...many inactive members have various reasons (good/bad) as to why they aren't active. But to be honest, a lot of times it is not financial reasons -- a lot of times, they just don't WANT to pay dues, but want the perks. What can we do about these individuals? And contrary to popular belief...ALL of us have many, many members like this.......

Lastly...my greeksister indigo13 -- I will say in all honesty...I would love to have a sister who is financial and active (physically). But if I couldn't have both...I would take either of the two. If you find yourself not having the time to be physicallyactive, but can be financially active...I say do so. I know, at least my organization, 'we' can use the funds for scholarships, programs and etc. If you find you can't afford being 'financial', get involve with a local chapter....help them with community service, assist with their events and etc. One thing I have learned over the years is that -- You don't have to be 'financial' to be physically 'active'. And you don't have to be physically 'active' to be 'financial'. Even though we would like those two to go hand in hand...a lot of times, in real life, they don't!

[impervios]

You should never let go but try to better ones thinking.
If you took them into your organization there was something
in them that you really liked.
Do not give up on the ones who go astray, they have a good quality with in them. No matter how grimy they may appear to be.

And to the ones who go inactive don't turn your backs that is not what being a Black Greek is all about. You should try to get them to get involved, and let them know that there opinion does count(in regards to ones organization).

Impervios
'2'
anchor
I.S.S.O.S.
Alpha Beta chapter
Spring'96
Southern Illinois University Edwardsville

[Indigo1913]

Well said greeksister Happydays. With regard to the hazing, we are going to have to police ourselves. The members who are carrying on like this usually have low selfesteem and the only way they can feel good is by bring others down. And you are right, these actions are casting a dark shadow on all the good deeds that our organizatons do.

[Blackwatch]

I think it has to start with intake. The problems that we are experiencing with many of the inactive brothers and sisters is that they pledged for the wrong reasons. My chapter president all the time talks about how he is able to pay dues, sell (or eat)tix, go to district, regional, and national conventions every year on a grad student's salary. He says its because he knows every year that he has made the commitment to Alpha when he pledged and he sticks to it. Every brother (or sister) has to understand what thet lifelong commitment means. One aspiriant said it best when he stated that Alpha has to be a part of your life. When you start on that quest to Alpha, understand that as you get older and life's challenges come at you, that your response will have to incorporate God, Your family, your career, Alpha, and anything else that is important to you. Alpha is a part of your life. When people pledge, they have to understand this, on an undergrad or grad level.

Our chapter has been trying to reclaim brothers for years. Yeah, grad fees are very expensive, but that is not the main reason why broters are not active. Most Inactive Brothers are not active because they feel that "the brotherhood is not the same" on the grad level, in other words, it ain't the undergrad experience. Brothers, and I want to make clear, Alpha does not end after senior year!!! In fact, most of your Alpha experience is going to be a graduate/ alumni experience, unless you happen to pass away while in College. So understand that the undergrad experience cannot be the reason that you made a lifelong commitment, unless you wanted to be an undergrad for the rest of your life!!! Reclaimation will work much better when we refine the intake process to understand the character of potential brothers/sisters. This cannot be gauged by how long thay stay "online" or how well they take a test, but understanding that character is gauge best when you spend time with a person, talking with them about what matters to them.

A word on the Alumni "Experience". If any brother feels that the alumni erxperience is "too political" and non-responsive to issues of true brotherhood, understand this: this situation maybe true only because most of the "active" membership in Alpha is Older alumni brothers. Active is very important because only active brothers can make policy and business decisions (such as to change the intake process to MIP). In other words, your voice is not heard because your voice is not there "officially". The only way to make Alpha responsive to your concerns is to actually be able to let your voice be known. I've been at plenty of state conventions where the older brotherhood had to be responsive to the younger brotherhood because the younger brother were there,organized, and thoughtful. Too many of our Alumni chapters have no one in them under 40 years old. That is truly a shame. In order to make the brotherhood responsive to the needs of 22, 23, 24, year old brothers is that those brothers have to be around to voice their concerns. I was at a state convention last year and if it weren't for another chapter brother and myself, there would have been no one there over 22 nor under 40, absolutley no one. Every year Alpha intakes 10 times as many undergraduate brothers than graduate brothers, but every year, the active membership of the gen org. is between 80 to 85% alumni. This means that even brothers on the undergrad level are not paying national dues after they cross. This goes back to issues of character and commitment, something that "pledging" or reclamation can never change.
Blackwatch!!!