Member Apathy

CaliChiPhi · #1 11-29-2007, 07:26 AM

Hey guys,

First time posting. I would like to know what your chapters have done to help decrease member apathy. To be a bit more candid, I am writing this post for myself. I am an undergraduate transfer student from one chapter to another within the same fraternity. I am finding that I am having a difficult time relating to virtually 90% of the members within the house and when I try to take on a position of leadership, they say that I don't know what I am doing and I cannot be an effective leader, even though I held the same positions I was running for at my previous chapter.
This has happened twice (I am a senior now, I transfered as a Junior) and now I am just finding myself dreading going over to the house and starting to see it as a unpleasant drain on my personal finances because I see no benefit to me even continuing on.
On more than one occasion I have felt direct hostility towards myself from my other brothers, mostly verbal but a few times some of the 'native' members of the chapter have wanted to out right fight me and it required several of my 'brothers' to hold him back.
Am I at a complete loss, or when I was just dropped into the middle of this foreign situation and expected to act like a 'native', should I have tried even harder?
I would appreciate any advice that anyone could give me, I don't particularly care how harsh, positive, or ambivalent it is.

AlphaFrog · #2 11-29-2007, 08:25 AM

Every chapter of every Greek org is different. Just because you fit with XYZ at State U, doesn't mean you'll fit with XYZ at U of State. To them, you're at the same level as a pledge. Sure, you've seen the ritual, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to effectively be in a leadership position (depending on which one) right away. It is "foreign" to you. It's like someone saying that Bush should become President (Prime Minister/whatever) of Canada because he's been President of the US, so he knows how to be a President. Ok, so Bush may be a bad example - but you get the point.

Give it awhile, back down a bit and go with the flow. You've only got a semester or so left. If it's still feel that it's nothing more than a drain on your finances, drop out. You may be able to go inactive, and still graduate as an Alum in good standings. Look into that too, if you continue to be unhappy.

CaliChiPhi · #3 11-29-2007, 03:14 PM

I can completely understand those points, but our membership retention policies are non-existant, and when I am told at about every other outing that people are not happy that I am here it sort of makes it hard to stick it out.

Regardless,
I am trying to get some sort of membership retention committee going and I would like to know what sorts of things other chapters have done?

33girl · #4 11-29-2007, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Give it awhile, back down a bit and go with the flow. You've only got a semester or so left. If it's still feel that it's nothing more than a drain on your finances, drop out. You may be able to go inactive, and still graduate as an Alum in good standings. Look into that too, if you continue to be unhappy.

If people are already telling you you're pushing too much, I wouldn't try to create a committee.

NutBrnHair · #5 11-29-2007, 04:07 PM

In my experience, apathy is usually not the problem, but a symptom of other problems.

overprogramming
events that are not "quality"
poorly-run meetings

You get the idea.

bellwisdom · #6 02-03-2008, 09:17 PM

Tell the chapter advisor how you feel, see what his opinion is?

jwsteele · #7 02-04-2008, 02:54 AM

I think what is probably happening is that maybe you tried to get too involved in a new chapter too fast. Although it was probably good intentioned on your part, maybe it came off as "my old chapter was better and I am going to change you guys". To any fraternity with pride that type of attitude (whether intended or unintentional) can turn a lot of guys off. With that said you only have a semester left. I'd lay off the attempted leadership activities and just try to enjoy the events.

Firehouse · #8 02-04-2008, 08:08 PM

Dear friend,
You're getting a lot of good advice from others in this thread, but I suspect you may not be listening. The members are hostile to you for some reason and they don't want you on their turf. You probably are not going to be able to change that. Read the signs; back away. You'll always be a Chi Phi and I've no doubt you love the Fraternity. Some of the things you say sound like you're trying to force confrontation, even though you may not realize it.
If you do have friends in the chapter tell them you're going to disappear into the wallpaper and wish them the best. Tell them you'll be there for them if they need you.
Enjoy your life; we don't have so many days that we can afford to be unhappy.

justabeachbrat · #9 02-04-2008, 11:50 PM

A friend joined me a semester after I transferred to another school, and we were room mates. At the first school, her sorority was considered one of the top houses.
From classes, I met some of her sisters at school #1. They were fun girls and not obsessed with their ranking or dating the guys from "the" houses.
My friend arrives at school #2, and I don't think she ever lowered her nose, being very stuck up toward her sisters. She didn't affliate. I wasn't dismayed when she dropped out of school.
I am not saying you're acting like this, but remember you are the new kid on the block.