Lavaliering/Pinning/Letters In Phi Mu Alpha???

[pheemusweetie]

My boyfriend is currently a member of Phi Mu Alpha and he claims that as a Sinfonian they aren't allowed to let their girlfreinds where their letters at all, period. Is this true?

[MysticCat]

Sorry, pheemusweetie, I don't know how I missed this post for so long.

Your boyfriend is right. While some chapters will not be as strict about it as others, and given exceptions of necessity (I would never let my wife stay cold while I was wearing a lettered sweatshirt, for example), the general rule is that only brothers wear the letters.

I seem to recall there was some discussion a while back about making jewelry available that could be given to girlfriends/wives/sweethearts in lieu of a lettered lavelier, but I don't know if anything has been done about that.

[AlphaFrog]

I'm begining to wonder about the Sinfonians at my campus. Just about everything you say (and somehow I think I'm taking your word, someone who I've never met over that chapter's) the chapter at WIU does opposite. I remember a Sinfonian told me that they readily give away sweatshirts, just not lavaliers (although they do lavalier g/f or fiancees). That could be though, b/c they did Mother/Son, Father/Daughter with MFE. (And yes, MFE being co-ed, some MFE's ended up with 2 dads [but still called their MFE parent "mom", even though he was male])

[MysticCat]

It's not necessarily a well-articulated policy, AlphaFrog. The only actual policy we have on the subject is that probationary members (pledges, if you will) may not wear the Greek letters FMA or the Fraternity's Coat-of-Arms until after initiation, at which time they are considered brother Sinfonians.

There's been a lot of discussion on this in recent years, and the majority feeling has been that if PMs cannot wear Greek letters because they are not yet brothers, then neither should any other non-Sinfonian. Some brothers/chapters will disagree with this position, and as it's not an actual policy, but rather a generally but not universally accepted rule, well . . .

Until a year or so ago, our official jeweler offered lettered laveliers, but they no longer do. I have the impression Lyrecrest asked them to pull that item as a result of the discussion on non-Sinfonians wearing letters.

Some chapters (and probably some provinces, since things like this become part of the culture of the province) are more, shall we say, "strict" about it than others. The idea of giving letters to girlfriends/sweethearts is so entrenched some places that it's a hard habit to break, especially without a "new tradition" to take its place. So I wouldn't say the brothers at WIU (Kappa Psi?)are "wrong," just in the minority on this point. Make sense?

[Boodleboy322]

We would let our pledges wear T-Shirts prior to initiation that actually spelled out "Phi Mu Alpha". This way we wouldn't actually let them wear Greek Letters but still represent around campus.

Sigma Chi did something similiar during one of their annual "Fight Night" events.

Brief History on Fight Night - The Sigs used hold these amateur boxing tournaments that were hosted at a local night club. The club would actually put up a real live boxing ring and different greeks would box against each other through 3 different levels (Light Weight, Medium Weight, and Heavy Weight). We actually did send two Phi Mu Alpha guys one year that kicked butt!

Anyway, they used to sell T-shirts at the event to the general public but the shirts never had greek letters. They actually spelled out "Sigma Chi".

[MysticCat]

Originally posted by Boodleboy322
We would let our pledges wear T-Shirts prior to initiation that actually spelled out "Phi Mu Alpha". This way we wouldn't actually let them wear Greek Letters but still represent around campus.

Right. The policy regarding PMs specifically prohibits wearing the Greek letters, not "Phi Mu Alpha" spelled out.

[pheemusweetie]

Thanks for responding to my question! I just didn't know because it appeared that some chapters were a little bit less strict with who wears their letters and who doesnt, and i was a little confused.

[Boodleboy322]

Originally posted by pheemusweetie
I just didn't know because it appeared that some chapters were a little bit less strict with who wears their letters and who doesnt, and i was a little confused.

It's all good Pheemusweetie...what school are you referring to?

[pheemusweetie]

Western Illinois University is the school that I attend, but I read some things from I think Valparaiso about the lavaliering and pinning and such.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by pheemusweetie
Western Illinois University is the school that I attend, but I read some things from I think Valparaiso about the lavaliering and pinning and such.

I'm PMing you because I probably know you

[sairose]

Originally posted by MysticCat81
Right. The policy regarding PMs specifically prohibits wearing the Greek letters, not "Phi Mu Alpha" spelled out.

I've never understood this policy. Whether the letters are spelled out or stand as greek letters...you're still wearing something you don't know the meaning of yet, so why should it be allowed?

Not trying to point fingers or anything, I guess it just doesn't make much sense to me.

[Boodleboy322]

Originally posted by sairose
I've never understood this policy. Whether the letters are spelled out or stand as greek letters...you're still wearing something you don't know the meaning of yet, so why should it be allowed?

Not trying to point fingers or anything, I guess it just doesn't make much sense to me.

The Greek Alphabet, as in all GLOs, signifies Greek. If you spell out the words then it's just that and not Greek. The pledge with the words spelled out is not Greek.


Yours in GC,

Boodleboy322

[buttnose]

There has been some discussion about this by the Exec Board of my chapter (Iota Omicron, Bowling Green State University) recently, because our Vice Pres's fiancee goes to a school where lavaliering is apparently frequent and encouraged.

First off, I'm not entirely sure what lavaliering IS... I've heard that it's:

1. a brother giving his girlfriend a specific piece of jewerly with the Greek letters on it.
2. a ceremony where the chapter "adopts" a person without initiating them, and then they can wear letters.
3. a brother giving his fiancee a set of letters.

Is is one of these? Or does it vary from place to place? I find myself a little irritated at being in the dark on this matter, considering that I am the Fraternal EDUCATION Officer of our chapter.

Secondly, I know that it's been/being discussed... but man, would it be nice to have some definitive answers on this. This is something that I think needs consistency across chapters because I would hate to use our hailing call on someone in letters (example #2 above), and then find out that they haven't been initiated. Also, if it IS acceptable, I know MY fiancee would love to wear my letters (she always talks about how comfortable they look)...

[nehpets99]

Buttnose:

While the specifics vary from organization to organization and probably from chapter to chapter (i.e. our Alpha Gamma Delta chapter here has a formal ceremony), lavaliering is essentially an Active giving his girlfriend a charm of our letters on a chain (#1)...in our chapter we did this shortly before classes let out and the brother sought consent from the chapter beforehand. basically what we as a chapter did is accept her into the organization in the sense that, while she won't know any of the secrets, she can wear our letters (kinda like #2).

the ceremony that we performed wasn't anything special (much to my dismay) and probably isn't secretive.

lavaliering is usually seen as a precursor to marriage.

lavaliers ARE for sale through Sinfonia's website.

[MysticCat]

Originally posted by nehpets99
lavaliers ARE for sale through Sinfonia's website.

Hey nehpets99.

Lavaliers are no longer available from either The Sinfonia Store at Sinfonia's website or from Burr-Patterson (our official jeweller). Burr-Patterson's website does have a heart charm with the letters FMA inside the heart, but no lavelier. (A lavelier is a necklace with the letters hanging from each other.)

My understanding is that laveliers were removed from the Sinfonia Store website and from the Burr-Patterson website a year or two ago because of concerns over non-brothers wearing our letters. I'm not sure when Burr-Patterson put the lettered heart charm back on their website. (Maybe they still have some they want to get rid of.)

Originally posted by buttnose
Secondly, I know that it's been/being discussed... but man, would it be nice to have some definitive answers on this. This is something that I think needs consistency across chapters because I would hate to use our hailing call on someone in letters (example #2 above), and then find out that they haven't been initiated. Also, if it IS acceptable, I know MY fiancee would love to wear my letters (she always talks about how comfortable they look)...

Buttnose, there has been discussion of this at a national level, but you're right that practices still vary from chapter to chapter.

My understanding, however, is that the majority view nationally is that no one who is not a brother, including sweethearts, is to wear our Greek letters. This understanding is based in part on the currently stated policy (in the Guide to the Colony Program) that Probationary Members, because they are not yet Sinfonians, are not permitted to wear the Greek letters or the coat-of-arms.

The confusion may get cleared up, though. A proposal will be considered by the National Assembly next month to add this language to Article XX (Rituals and Symbols) of the National Constitution:

Display of Symbols. Only Sinfonians in good standing may wear or otherwise display the Greek letters "FMA"or the Fraternity’s Coat-of-Arms. Probationary members may not wear or otherwise display these symbols at any time prior to initiation. A member may not authorize or encourage a non-Sinfonian to wear or otherwise display these symbols.

Anyone having thoughts on this proposed legislation (or any other proposed legislation, clieck here for the full docket) is encouraged to talk with their Province Governor or CPR.

And for what's it's worth, I've never heard of allowing anyone other than a girlfriend/fiancee to wear our letters or "adopting" someone who can wear our letters. I admittedly have an opinion on this, but as far as I'm concerned, if you don't know what the letters mean, you have no business wearing them.