WAY too young to get married?!

Jill1228 · #1 10-01-2003, 01:58 PM

I always say do NOT get married before 25! (I was 17 days away from my 35th when I got married)

But this is one HOT MESS!

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0928gypsy28.html

Bride, 12, storms out of Gypsies' wedding of the year in protest

Vadim Ghirda/Associated Press

Ana Maria Cioaba, 12, is an unhappy bride. But her father, Florin, the self-proclaimed king of the Gypsies, couldn't be more pleased to marry off his youngest daughter to a 15-year-old.

Alison Mutler
Associated Press
Sept. 28, 2003 12:00 AM

SIBIU, Romania - It was billed as the Gypsy wedding of the year. But the Saturday ceremony, launching a three-day party, got off to a bad start: The 12-year-old "princess bride," daughter of a self-proclaimed king, stormed out of the church in protest in front of 400 guests.

"Leave me alone!" Ana Maria Cioaba screamed at reporters, swearing at them as she sought shelter nearby. Her bridesmaids chanted slogans against the groom.

She returned to the church minutes later and, although she would hardly look at him, was duly married off to her 15-year-old bridegroom, a sign of the persistence of the ancient practice of child weddings in the Gypsy, or Roma, culture.

Although the legal age for marriage in Romania is 18, the country generally tolerates the Gypsy tradition of arranged child weddings. Still, some young Roma women are starting to rebel against the custom, said Gabriela Mihai, 17, a cousin of Saturday's bride.

"I don't want to marry, I am choosy and I have refused several marriage partners my parents presented to me," she said.

Ana Maria's marriage was performed by her father, Florin, who claims the title of king of the Gypsies, which his late father took. The elder man made an immense fortune trading in scrap metal and other items.

After the ceremony, the bride stalked out and refused to look at her husband, who walked uncomfortably two steps behind.

"What marriage?" Ana Maria said after the ceremony. Her 12 bridesmaids supported her rebellion, chanting, "Out with Birita!" referring to bridegroom Mihai Birita.

Even before the ceremony, it was clear the bride was reluctant.

"She has been crying all day, but the marriage will go ahead with or without her," Dana Cherendea, adviser to her father, said after the girl stormed out.

The adviser also said the bride will be punished for spoiling the lavish event.

The bride's family presented a dowry worth tens of thousands of dollars, the wedding feast included suckling pigs and thousands of bottles of wine, and the bride's Italian wedding gown cost $4,000.

Her father arranged for a horse-drawn carriage to carry the bridal couple through the city of Sibiu, 190 miles northwest of Bucharest.

"This is a happy day for the royal household," Florin, 39, said before the ceremony. "My youngest daughter is getting married."

MereMere21 · #2 10-01-2003, 02:02 PM

yeah thats pretty sick, but thats their culture I guess. To them waiting until you are 25 must be downright stupid.

Could any of you imagine getting married when you were 12? I think I was still playing with Barbies

rainbowbrightCS · #3 10-01-2003, 02:02 PM

I have two questions.

What is with her hair? Why is this in the AZ Central, I am sure they could be reporting more important issues

Chris

mullet81 · #4 10-01-2003, 02:03 PM

It's a different culture, we can't expect them to be like the U.S. and marry when we do.

aephi alum · #5 10-01-2003, 02:13 PM

I don't believe in waiting until you are 25... I was 23 when I got married. But I agree that 12 is a little young...

I wonder... Was this marriage against her will from the start, or did she agree at first, rethink things later on, and get forced to go through with it anyway?

Rudey · #6 10-01-2003, 02:23 PM

I love this whole "It's a different culture" thing. Same thing with the religion. Guys in jail claim their religion demands certain better foods and more visits from women.

-Rudey
--It's their religion though so let's not challenge it.

lauralaylin · #7 10-01-2003, 02:38 PM

I always thought that one shouldn't get married before 25, but then I got married at 22. I think by a general rule that is good, but everyone doesn't need to go by it. I was with my husband for 6 years before we got married, it was enough waiting for me.

I do agree that 12 is way way way too young. You are still a kid. I actually had a pen pal who got married when she was 15. I was shocked over it. It still sort of creeps me out. This was in the US!

Cloud9 · #8 10-01-2003, 02:43 PM

Oh yeah, so because a large population of people does something, it's ok because it becomes culture? I'm so tired of people using culture as an excuse for things that are harmful and abusive physicall or psychologically to other human beings.

Here's another article about this disturbing event:

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/...988272280.html

Wedding of 12-year-old gypsy princess not recognised
October 2, 2003

The Romanian Government has announced an inquiry into the illegal wedding of Ana Maria, a 12-year-old Gypsy princess who married a 15-year-old Roma boy in a lavish ceremony at the weekend.

Ana Maria Cioaba, daughter of the self-proclaimed Roma king, Florin Cioaba, tried to flee her wedding, but her father had her brought back and she was forcibly married.

A government official, Serban Mihailescu, said the authorities did not recognise Saturday's wedding and an inquiry had begun into how a union between minors had been allowed.

Authorities in Sibiu went to the groom's house to investigate on Tuesday. One official said the girl was no longer there.

Mr Cioaba had kept the age of his daughter secret.

Observers at the wedding, in the central town of Sibiu, thought the bride looked sad.

"[The marriage] was decided when [Ana Maria] was seven," her aunt, Luminita Cioaba, said. "Sometimes the Gypsy traditions are very hard, even unfair."

The single Roma member of parliament, Madalin Voicu, said the wedding was an affront to the Gypsy people, saying: "A 12-year-old child cannot understand the notion of marriage and the duties appertaining to it."

A European MP and Romanian children's advocate, Baroness Emma Nicholson, asked the Romanian Government in a letter on Tuesday to remove the children to safety. She has called for the marriage to be declared illegal, and has charged that Ana Maria was raped on her wedding night.

The girl's family said child marriage was common among Roma, whose population is estimated at between 500,000 and 3 million in Romania.

The bride's brother, Dorin, said showing the guests a bloodied bedsheet to prove the marriage had been consummated was a tradition.

"There was no rape."

gphiangel624 · #9 10-01-2003, 02:55 PM

The idea the the "groom" raped this girl adds a whole new perspective to this story. I don't know what the laws regarding sexual assault are in Romania, but I would think that unconsentual sex, even amongst a married couple, might be the same or similar to the US. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't it still considered some form of rape if a 15 year old has sex with a 12 year old, regardless of whether the guy or girl consented?

This is terrible for that poor girl. I hope that her despair through all this will open the eyes of others who may put their children in the same situation. I wonder what her relationship with her father is like right now? If I was her, I'd have ditched my family, tried my hardest to get a passport and bailed ASAP.

ilovemyglo · #10 10-01-2003, 03:07 PM

omigod- they show the bloody sheet?!?!?!? FREAKING SICK!

valkyrie · #11 10-01-2003, 03:07 PM

I don't care if it's acceptable in someone's "culture" -- this is just sick.

Kimmie1913 · #12 10-01-2003, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gphiangel624
The idea the the "groom" raped this girl adds a whole new perspective to this story. I don't know what the laws regarding sexual assault are in Romania, but I would think that unconsentual sex, even amongst a married couple, might be the same or similar to the US. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't it still considered some form of rape if a 15 year old has sex with a 12 year old, regardless of whether the guy or girl consented?

This is terrible for that poor girl. I hope that her despair through all this will open the eyes of others who may put their children in the same situation. I wonder what her relationship with her father is like right now? If I was her, I'd have ditched my family, tried my hardest to get a passport and bailed ASAP.

culture and custom have treated women as possessions it is rare that rape is looked on as harshly. Typically, it is harsh when a man violates another man's woman but he can treat his own woman as he pleases., It has only been in more recent times in the US that a husband could be found to rape his wife. (When I was in high school in Maryland, (late 80's) this was being debated, as it was not criminal for a husband to rape his wife here) So you should never assume laws pertaining to sexual assault are the same around the world, particularly in countries that do arranged marriages or treat women as second class citizens.

The world has had an obsession with the chastity of women for a very long time. I am not surprised by the public display of the bed sheet. Disgusted and disheartened, but not surprised.

aephi alum · #13 10-01-2003, 03:28 PM

Showing the bloody sheet is traditional in a few cultures... it supposedly proves that the bride was a virgin on her wedding night. I don't like it, but that's what they do.

In the US, if an adult has sex with a minor, the adult can be charged with statutory rape - even if it was consensual sex (the idea being that the minor can't actually give consent). I'm not sure what happens if two minors have sex with each other. Perhaps Romania has a similar law?

I'm sure they can make a rape charge stick, too, especially if the marriage is ruled illegal. (There can, of course, be rape within marriage, but not all countries' laws allow a husband to be prosecuted if he rapes his wife.)

ETA: Kimmie1913, you make some good points. But, it's within the Gypsy culture that this girl was treated as a second-class citizen, while it's under Romanian law that the groom (and hopefully the father too!) would be prosecuted. So I'm hopeful that Romania may have some good strong rape laws on the books.

Lady Pi Phi · #14 10-01-2003, 03:55 PM

I don't think that's as messed as the 14 year old boy who married a 42 year old woman and now they're in the process of getting divorced. Saw it on Maurry Pauvich this morning. That's one sick woman.

bethany1982 · #15 10-01-2003, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I don't think that's as messed as the 14 year old boy who married a 42 year old woman and now they're in the process of getting divorced. Saw it on Maurry Pauvich this morning. That's one sick woman.

That is sick.