A Wedding Dilemma (LONG)!

GRITS · #1 06-12-2003, 12:43 AM

Okay. One of my best friends from high school is getting married in September. Yes she is only 19, but it is not uncommon for people to get married right out of high school. It is about 10 of us in the wedding and we all agreed to support her in this even though we can't stand her fiancee( cheats,lies,etc.....) We feel that this is a major accomplishment that we conviced her not to elope after graduation last year and then she wanted to get married in Feb of this year. But she is our friend and we love her. Anyways she has already bought her dress and we are still looking for ours after 5 months

!ETA: I might have gotten the colors wrong at first so i'll just say dark cranberry.and she really wants our dresses to not cost more than $100 which is nearly impossible in this area. She has offered to pay $30-40 dollars on our dresses, which is nice even though I don't think she can really afford it. I don't really believe that she has worked a lot on this wedding so far, and I need a nice way to tell her that she needs to step up the pace. I understand that she is working and going to beauty school and because of my wedding experience I can help her out with a lot of the work since I am here for the summer. I think that she really believes that this is like a little party and not a huge event. There are so many things that we still have to do (invites, decorations, flowers). So what is a nice way(not pushy) to ask her about these things and tell her that I'm willing to help without coming off like a know it all?
By the way this is her dress:
http://www2.davidsbridal.com/bridalg...7&prodgroup=35
You can see the back if you click on the link.

CrimsonTide4 · #2 06-12-2003, 12:47 AM

UGH @ burgundy and orange.

Where are her parents? What do they think?

Maybe you and your close friends should take her out to lunch and have a sisterhood luncheon where you offer your help and suggestions. I would recommend changing the colors and possibly pushing the date back.

Also maybe a referral to be on Maury.

GRITS · #3 06-12-2003, 12:52 AM

Maybe I got the burgundy and orange wrong but the color of the dress she wants is like dark cranberry. She kinda wanted hot pinks and oranges last time so who knows. Her parents have accepted it, they are just happy that she hasn't eloped yet. He is a marine so I think this is the only good time. LOL @ Maury! I'm afraid to buy my plane ticket becuase she is known to be a little flaky!

sherbertlemons · #4 06-12-2003, 12:52 AM

I'm afraid I haven't got much advice, on that. you may just have to come out and tell her. I also might talk to her mother, and see if she might be willing to bring it up. Is it going to be a big wedding?

Uh, I'm also rather curious about the burgundy and orange. Is it really as unatracttive of a combination as I'm picturing, or am I thinking of the wrong shades?

GRITS · #5 06-12-2003, 12:54 AM

I think I got the shades wrongs i'm going to change it to just cranberry or dark red.

It will be medium she has lots of family but so does he I think it is about 10 bridesmaids though, all of us are like one big group.

Hootie · #6 06-12-2003, 01:28 AM

Well here's my opinion (for what it's worth).

I have a friend that has been engaged for a year now and isn't getting married for another year. She's been dragging her feet too, but with good reasons (no need to start the wedding planning THIS far in advance). However at the same time she hasn't even LOOKED at dresses, bridesmaid dresses etc. She's got the hall, the church and just last week the photographer. I simply told her that she should really start thinking about looking for dresses and other things now because she's gonna need to budget TIME and MONEY.

So if this girl is a really close friend then I'd simply tell her...look, you need to get rolling on some things cuz you don't want the hassle if things get booked or cost more all at once in the long run. Maybe taking her out and forcing her to look at things and get ideas is a good start. Maybe as a gift yall should buy her a wedding planning book. I bought myself "Dumbies Guide to Planning a Wedding" and "Wedding Etiquette". This got me jump started on THINKING about what I wanted. Then when I registered at The Jones Store I got a FREE notebook planner. That made me even MORE excited.

Hell, get online and start emailing her links to sites for invitations, florists, cakes, dresses etc. There are also FREE wedding guides that some jewelry stores hand out (in some cities).

Good Luck!

SigkapAlumWSU · #7 06-12-2003, 02:21 PM

That's the same dress that my friend is getting married in this summer! The picture doesn't do it justice at all. It really sparkles wonderfully and the train has panels of the sequins.

Eirene_DGP · #8 06-12-2003, 02:34 PM

LMAO!!! You should have watched Dr. Phil this morning..They had a lady come on with the exact same problem. You need to tell your friend to ditch the dude and get on with life.

aabby757 · #9 06-12-2003, 02:38 PM

I also think that you're wrong to assume a wedding is a "huge event" It can be just a small gathering or party.

I say let her do what she wants when she wants it. I think there is so much pressure on the stupid wedding and no thought into the marriage.

Sounds like planning this wedding is the least of her worries.

Peaches-n-Cream · #10 06-12-2003, 03:01 PM

I think that her wedding gown is lovely. Around here David's Bridal is having a big sale on bridesmaid dresses. You and the wedding party and the bride should get together and check it out. The bride has the final say in the dresses, but maybe the bridesmaids should select 5 or 6 that you like from the website so it isn't an overwheming experience. Good luck!

White_Chocolate · #11 06-12-2003, 04:00 PM

if she's slowing around, it doesn't sound like she wants to get married THAT bad
but i guess that's why she wanted to elope
my friend is planning her wedding and she just got engaged in march
she was just going to have a small courthouse wedding
but her family begged her not to
now, we don't know when the guest list will end
she's really gotten excited about it

maybe you guys need to get her excited

GRITS · #12 06-12-2003, 08:33 PM

Thanks yall for all your suggetstions, keep em coming! Cream, she bought her dress from Davids Bridal so I'm not quite sure why we haven't been there to look yet. WC, good idea about getting her excited, I bought her a wedding planner at B&N yesterday, so that might give her a renewed zest. Their parents are forcing them to have a big wedding so I think that this is the cause of some stress. I just want to let her know that I am here to help out in what I can, not force my ideas on her.

GRITS · #13 06-13-2003, 12:57 AM

Bad news: One of the dresses that I really liked that nyrdrms pm'ed me is available but not in my area. I sent the dresses to my friend and she told me to choose a few that I liked and we would look at them. What do you all think about ordering dresses online?