In-law venting thread

AOII_LB93 · #1 08-10-2009, 03:53 PM

I know you've got to be out there...anyone have issues with their backstabbing two-faced bitch of a MIL?

Just wondering. I feel like I'm the only one, even though I'm not.

ForeverRoses · #2 08-10-2009, 04:04 PM

My MIL is great- my BIL and (now ex) SIL- a whole different story. I avoid social family gatherings if I think they will be there.

dreamseeker · #3 08-10-2009, 04:13 PM

i'm not married but my bf's mom used to make comments behind my back about my weight and smile and appear friendly in my face. she also talked a lot of sh*t abt our relationship. after 3 yrs she sees that things aren't going to crumble like she thought. so now she wants to act like we're buddies.

due to current circumstances i am forced to be around her a lot, but i cannot WAIT for the day that i will not have to see her so often.

AOII_LB93 · #4 08-10-2009, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamseeker

i'm not married but my bf's mom used to make comments behind my back about my weight and smile and appear friendly in my face. she also talked a lot of sh*t abt our relationship. after 3 yrs she sees that things aren't going to crumble like she thought. so now she wants to act like we're buddies.

due to current circumstances i am forced to be around her a lot, but i cannot WAIT for the day that i will not have to see her so often.

Dream on...if you plan on marrying him, it's going to get worse not better. Speaking from experience here. She's fine in front of him, but she talks shit on me to her daughter, and anyone else she can find.

Thankfully she moved out of state.

srmom · #5 08-10-2009, 04:30 PM

I'm trying to be a good mil! I love my DIL (probably as much as my son, but don't tell him that!

) It helps to stay out of their business though when they're in Florida, and I'm in Texas!!

Now, I have a terrible step-mother who I call Madame X - She's a real piece of work!

AOII_LB93 · #6 08-10-2009, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by srmom

I'm trying to be a good mil! I love my DIL (probably as much as my son, but don't tell him that!

) It helps to stay out of their business though when they're in Florida, and I'm in Texas!!

Now, I have a terrible step-mother who I call Madame X - She's a real piece of work!

srmom,
I wish mine were like you, however she does all she can to stir up the drama between her family in general. She is a huge gossip, and when telling her daughter what not to do she uses me as the example. The ironic thing about it, is that I've been around for 10 years and have been really nice to her since the start.

I found an article I want to send her on how to be a good mother in law, but I know she would be hugely offended. I think she forgets that she was a daughter in law once too.

Sandy, you can totally play along...if you've been there long enough, it's almost the same.

KSUViolet06 · #7 08-10-2009, 04:58 PM

I have no in laws.

Most of my married friends have pretty nice MILs.

However, I intern with an office full of married women and I remember hearing a co-worker telling me about how her future MIL called her a "cougar" at her bridal shower and made her cry.

She had just turned 26 the week before the wedding and hubby was 23 and according to her MIL, that made her a cougar who was preying on her precious baby boy.

They haven't gotten along since.

dreamseeker · #8 08-10-2009, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Dream on...if you plan on marrying him, it's going to get worse not better. Speaking from experience here. She's fine in front of him, but she talks shit on me to her daughter, and anyone else she can find.

Thankfully she moved out of state.

lol. without getting into too much detail, she wont have many ears...or at least not ppl i interact with/care about. one of the main reasons she had to stop was because my bf used to snap on her to stop throwing stones while living in a glass house.

now if she'd leave the state too...that'd be awesome. lol.

dreamseeker · #9 08-10-2009, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

Can us gals in long term relationships play too?

For the most part, his mother is sweet as pie. I love her, I really do. But when drama occurs, she feels the need to be right in the middle of it. I (and BF feels the same way) really believe she's addicted to chaos. Same with his brothers.

Now I know why he moved away from his family as soon as he could.

i'm in an LDR too.

Munchkin03 · #10 08-10-2009, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

Can us gals in long term relationships play too?

For the most part, his mother is sweet as pie. I love her, I really do. But when drama occurs, she feels the need to be right in the middle of it. I (and BF feels the same way) really believe she's addicted to chaos. Same with his brothers.

Now I know why he moved away from his family as soon as he could.

I think a lot of people are addicted to chaos and drama.

I had almost in-laws at one point; they were a major factor in why they are ex-almost in-laws. Let's say that I don't take financial advice from someone who has less money saved than my nephew. Awesome.

KSUViolet06 · #11 08-10-2009, 05:19 PM

I think alot of people make the mistake of thinking "oh things will be better with his parents after we're married."

That happens sometimes, but it's not typical.

If she hates you after like 2 years of dating, the wedding is likely not going to change that.

Same thing applies to "oh things will get better after we have kids."

Not likely. Then she'll probably criticize your parenting and drive you crazy. lol.

ComradesTrue · #12 08-10-2009, 05:36 PM

I am lucky. My MIL is one of the most wonderful people on the planet and we would definitely be great friends even if we weren't related. Trust me, I take notes daily on the way that she interacts with my FIL, my husband, and most importantly me. I note the way she holds her tongue, offers genuine advice at the appropriate time, and mostly just how she treats people in general. I don't think I could have handpicked anyone better.

I have promised my 2 year old son that I will do everything possible to be as good a MIL to his future wife as she has been to me, so that his wife won't wind up in a thread like this.

For those of you who are enduring toxic relationships- I am sorry. A good friend has a terrible MIL and it has taught me to appreciate every day that I have with my own.

AOII_LB93 · #13 08-10-2009, 05:54 PM

I just don't understand how mine can be sweet as pie to my face and then talk shit on me to my husband(which he has none of) and others in the family. She even emailed him once when she was thinking of moving back here and said, "Be sure to let your wife know I won't intrude. I know she's probably worried about that." Thankfully my husband emailed her that she needed an attitude adjustment and to stop bashing me because I've been a good wife to him and I treat her well.

The sad part of it is, that I actually liked her up until recently, been really nice and apparently she's just been shit-talking for years. I guess I'm not good enough for her son in her eyes.

dreamseeker · #14 08-10-2009, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

I just don't understand how mine can be sweet as pie to my face and then talk shit on me to my husband(which he has none of) and others in the family.

it could be her own issues. with my bf's mom, she's single and lonely, and relies heavily on him. so she views me as an intruder and someone who takes away attention from her. personally i think she is somewhat jealous. not as in she wants to date him, but that he is devoting his time and energy to me and not her.

and her not saying a thing to you is an indication that a) the issue is really with her and not with you, and/or b) she has no backbone.

aephi alum · #15 08-10-2009, 08:08 PM

Ah... my monster-in-law. I could write a book.

My favorite story goes back a few years. My ILs are no longer members of a synagogue, so on the High Holy Days they inflict themselves upon us. It was Yom Kippur afternoon. I was trying my damnedest to stick to my fast, which had been going for about 18 hours at that point. The ILs came back to our house between morning and afternoon services. And my MIL DEMANDED THAT I PREPARE LUNCH!!!

They purport to be Jewish, but they ignore the inconvenient parts of the faith, like fasting on the holiest day of the year.

There's her incessant whining that any beef or lamb that isn't charred beyond recognition might as well be raw, and that DH and I would DIE if we ate it. (I had to teach DH what a steak is supposed to taste like - medium rare!) There were the times she chewed me out for eating "raw fish" (sushi). She criticizes my wardrobe - too much black - to the point where, if I feel like being passive-aggressive, I'll wear all black when we see them. And the one time I joked that wedding planning was a lot of work and we should just elope, she SCREAMED at me about how she DAMNED WELL WOULD BE AT HER SON'S WEDDING!!!

And then there's the baby nagging. The ink wasn't even dry on the marriage contract when she started in. DH is an only child, so the only way she can have a grandchild is if we have children. She doesn't give a damn about how many sleepless nights we have, how many diapers we have to change, how pregnancy and childbirth would destroy my body, how much money we have to spend to get the latest and greatest for our baby (and did I mention she wants me to quit my job and be a SAHM rather than letting "her grandchild" be "raised" by day care?). She just wants her grandchild. Um. Yeah. If she wanted a grandchild sooo badly, she should have thought of that before she decided to have only one child and take the risk that he might marry a childfree woman.

I limit my contact with the ILs as much as possible. Unfortunately, I do have to put up with them from time to time, and I do so because I love my husband. There haven't been any major problems lately, mainly because everyone is on their best behavior when we do see each other, and DH has told his mother to lay off the baby nagging. Hopefully, that will continue.