Fellow Sisterfriends: Hand Out or Hand Up

[ENDROAD]

Okay, I thought of this topic this weekend as I was reviewing and organizing my "notebook" of research on Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated. As a striving Sisterfriend I look at my journey as a goal and a job to be done. I never half step in anything that I do and I don't make excuses. I have a lot of information about the sorority and the chapter I hope to gain membership in. I have a print out of the Greek Alphabet, Founders History, Chapter's Important Dates and Charter Members, etc. etc. My question is: Should I share this information with fellow interestees? One young lady on another thread said she had researched for three months. Not, to put her down but I have researched for three years. Some of my friends who I know are interested, I have attempted to share my information with them but they are more interested in learning how to stroll. I want to know that too, but I don't think it is a priority. So may I please get some feedbak from both Memberfriends and Sisterfriends on how I should handle this. Should I keep , (thanks Lovely), the info I have worked hard to collect or should I share? If you don't want to give advice here please feel free to email me.

Thanks

[This message has been edited by ENDROAD (edited June 18, 2001).]

[Lovely]

I think your choice of words is very interesting-share or be stingy? Stingy has a negative conotation-usually we called each other stingy if we didn't share some candy or other treat as kids. In school as in the workplace, sometimes, others get credit for work you have done. If you feel strongly that the "work" or "treat" you have so painstakingly acquired for three years is not something you want to share with others, that is your right. Don't feel like you have to share it. Perhaps, you will be doing them a favor by allowing them the opprotunity to research and uncover things for themselves. I would rephrase it in a positive way, you aren't being stingy, you're allowing them the opportunity to enjoy themselves in their pursuit.

[SweetestDiva]

All that information is readily available and easily attainable. I know a lot of interested females who are more concerned with chants and strolling, but hey, that's their biz. It's not my job to teach/take care of anybody else. Anybody who wants it bad enough will get out there and do what they need to do on their own.

[Riley]

Hey ENROAD, I am a fellow sisterfriend and I can relate to your situation. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable sharing information, and I mean "hard earned" info with someone else who I felt didn't put as much effort into searching or who doesn't seem as committed as you are like your friends. Like it has been said on many posts before seeking membership should fun and hard work. You cannot truly appreciate membership without it. I have been collecting information for the past 5 years. This info has been pooled from websites like these, books and archives. I am not about to hand all that over b/c someone else is intrested. You have to think of it like the members of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Would they just hand over info just b/c some one is intrested?

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[Audacity44]

As someone else stated, all the info that you have obtained is EASILY accesible. I would not make it a stressor on should I share what I have researched or keep it to myself. Instead I would encourage my Sisterfriend to keep looking and don't give up. Give her support and maybe one or two links as to where she can get a jump start on finding her information. I know that we are not supposed to Sistersit our sisterfriends, but at least we can give them a good impression on what Sisterhood is all about.

[SableCherub]

Originally posted by ENDROAD:
Okay, I thought of this topic this weekend as I was reviewing and organizing my "notebook" of research on Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated. As a striving Sisterfriend I look at my journey as a goal and a job to be done. I never half step in anything that I do and I don't make excuses. I have a lot of information about the sorority and the chapter I hope to gain membership in. I have a print out of the Greek Alphabet, Founders History, Chapter's Important Dates and Charter Members, etc. etc. My question is: Should I share this information with fellow interestees? One young lady on another thread said she had researched for three months. Not, to put her down but I have researched for three years. Some of my friends who I know are interested, I have attempted to share my information with them but they are more interested in learning how to stroll. I want to know that too, but I don't think it is a priority. So may I please get some feedbak from both Memberfriends and Sisterfriends on how I should handle this. Should I keep , (thanks Lovely), the info I have worked hard to collect or should I share? If you don't want to give advice here please feel free to email me.

Thanks

[This message has been edited by ENDROAD (edited June 18, 2001).]

sf...i feel you...i'm in the same boat...the three year mark...and though i am not interested in alpha kappa alpha...i say keep it to yourself...we all have to tread our own path and if your friends are serious they will do their own research...to the extent that suits their desires...so i would not force anything on them...if they happen to ask where you got it from...i see nothing wrong with sharing it since it is public information...so i wish you the best...

[This message has been edited by SableCherub (edited June 18, 2001).]

[AKA2D '91]

Wellllll.

I PERSONALLY feel that you should "keep it to yourself". That is a compilation of YOU collecting data, materials, etc. JUST LIKE YOU DID IT, SOMEONE ELSE CAN GET OUT THERE AND HUSTLE THEIR BUTTS off and get the SAME information.

You don't have to tell the SF EXACTLY where you got the information, you can, however, steer her in the RIGHT DIRECTION.

That's just my personal opinion.

Something extra to think about. What if YOU give SF ABC ALL of your information AND SHE MAKES IT and YOU DON'T, how would you feel?

[Mahogany04]

Hi I'm the sisterfriend, who had only researched for three months. I just wanted to say that it's amazing if after three years you are still finding new information. There's only so much information on the internet before you starting running into redundant information. Also, there aren't very many books that we, as sisterfriends, have ready access to. Anyway, most of the information you'll need to know, you'll learn when and if you make line. People always advise sisterfirends to learn the history to have some knowledge of the organization prior to their pursuit of membership, but the extensive learning takes place on line. In addition, from what I hear, regardless of how much history YOU know, if your line sisters don't know it, it's just like you don't know it either. This leads me to answer the question at hand. This is about sisterhood. AS the saying goes "there is no I in Team." These girsl could be your line sisters one day, and if they don't know the information, you don't either. I wouldn't recommend starting a study groupe because I heard that that's against the rules, but you may want to consider sharing your information with these ladies (they could be your sisters one day). Also, one other thing...I heard that learning the history together on line is one of the things that creates the bond between the line sisters; they're able to grow close and work together for a common cause. You may not get the full effect if you already know all the information and you line sisters don't. I hope this helps.

[AKA2D '91]

At THIS juncture, a TEAM DOES NOT exist! So, right now, it's about I making the TEAM!

Whatever happens AFTER the team has been chosen is ANOTHER thread!

[lovele1978]

I am new to the forum, but I must say that as a sisterfriend that I have been doing research for quite some time as well. I agree with Riley in that you can find info about the organization of your interest through more than just websites. As it has been said many times before, how do you think sisterfriends did research before the internet?? I think we need to get back to doing leg-work and networking, and not rely do heavily on the world wide web.

[SableCherub]

...actually...3 months of learning vs. 3 years of learning does not determine whether someone is more knowledgeable than someone else...i have learned more in 6 months than the two and a half years preceeding my last 6 months of research...it just depends on how diligent you are...not how long you've been looking...memorizing history does not mean you are more knowledgeable than someone that has not memorized history...and it won't guarantee you membership...even if they are encouraging you to do research...the world wide web is a wonderful tool...either move forward...evolve and progress...or get left behind in the aftermath of explosive perfection...

[This message has been edited by SableCherub (edited June 18, 2001).]

[ENDROAD]

Originally posted by SableCherub:
...actually...3 months of learning vs. 3 years of learning does not determine whether someone is more knowledgeable than someone else...i have learned more in 6 months than the two and a half years preceeding my last 6 months of research...it just depends on how diligent you are...not how long you've been looking...memorizing history does not mean you are more knowledgeable than someone that has not memorized history...and it won't guarantee you membership...even if they are encouraging you to do research...the world wide web is a wonderful tool...either move forward...evolve and progress...or get left behind in the aftermath of explosive perfection...

[This message has been edited by SableCherub (edited June 18, 2001).]

Sisterfriend,

I know that and no, I was not trying to imply that my three years of research was anymore important than anyone elses research. I was just saying that in my opinion there is no way the information can be redundant, because there is so much out there to learn. By all means knowing the history of an organization does not guarantee you membership, even when you are encouraged to research. However, your hardwork and perserverence is displayed when you do know somethings, as well as when you volunteer in the community, when you support Chapter activities etc. All these things make you a Better Candidate not a Guaranteed One.

[sunnydays96]

Why should you share? If people don't want to work hard to get into whatever sorority, then will they work hard if they make it and will they appreciate their sorority?

The research isn't that difficult to get. Just like you did your research, so should everyone else. There are many places where one can find the info that they seek. All they have to do is go LOOK for it. It's alright to be a nice person, but one has to draw the line between being nice and letting others take advantage of you.

There is a difference between not doing anything and asking others to give you info and doing the research, coming to a stump and needing some help. For the latter situation, it's alright to HELP someone. I wouldn't just plain out GIVE my research.

Scenario: Lets say you share your info with another interstee. She has the opportunity to share this info with a member first. You have the oppourtunity to share it with a member later. You repeat the same info which can make you look stupid by a) being redundant and b) not exercising discretion. Do you think sharing info helps now?

Lastly , one cannot place a time on the amount of research that must be done. If I waited 3 years, I wouldn't be a member now. Everyone's situation is different. Some people need/have only a short period of time and others need/have longer time to research. This all goes along with the idea that some info shouldn't be known until the right time. How does one know the right time? Well you will know when you get there.

[Mahogany04]

HI Endroad. The It wasn't a personal attack on you ENDROAD, I was just impressed that you are still finding new information. Though I had only been researching for three months, I have been STUDYING and learning the information for about 7 months (including months of research). A lot of information is disclosed in the book "The Divine Nine." Maybe you can advise your fellow interests to invest in this very informative and helpful work. It's $16.98 at most book stores. Remeber sister, we are in this together. There is no competition, as we are all working hard to seek AKA in our lives. As long as AKA is in your heart and GOD is on your side, you will be okay. Why don't you pray about your question whether or not to share your information; HE will answer. Have a nice day sister. But remember, in the future, do what you can to raise "us" as a people and help your sisters and brothers in any way that you can. There is no contest, but a little note, I will rise to any challenge. Don't doubt my knowledge because I haven't been researching as long as you. For the months that I have been researching and studying, I have studied daily and faithfully. We're in this together.

"Nobody But Nobody Can Make It Out Here Alone" --- Maya Angelou

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited June 18, 2001).]

[kitten03]

I've been confronted with this type of problem often. I call it a "problem" not because of the information that they seek but the lack of discretion they have in pursuing it. I use "they" to mean other SF's. No disrespect to them as people but I know that I worked hard to find out about members and the organization that I wish to be a part of. It bothers me when I'm asked a question that I won't answer, they continue to ask. Like I'm deaf! I always try to give as little as possible i.e. www.aka1908.com. But I hate when they expect me to come gushing forward with info. Also, my interest has been brought up at the most inconvenient times. It's so annoying. Fortunately and unfortunately, there are no members on campus but the need for discretion is still just as great.

On a lighter note, I'm always curious as to what types of things or information people are looking for. Not the easily sought info but those that take time and effort into finding. It's good to know i'm not the only one who's being a "Nosy Nellie"