Why didn't I get a bid?

123girl · #1 09-19-2017, 01:47 AM

So I went out for rush in the fall as a jr. but I'm older than than the average jr, which I think is the main reason I didn't get a bid. I'm 24 and transferred into a university from a local college, and most of the girls were fresh out of high school. I missed the opportunity to this right out of high school bc I went to a local college and worked until I knew where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. (I didn't say this) I know a couple of other girls in other groups who were transfers but I was the only one in mine. I also wore a blue keyhole sweater while all the other girls in my group wore sun dresses. The slide show said something like that was okay but I couldn't help feel like I wasn't supposed to dress like I was going for a job interview. I thought the conversations I had with the girls in most of the groups were engaging and nice I talked about leadership roles I had in high school despite it being a while now, my major, trips I'm taking over break, complement them and their house, and asked them general questions about their philanthropys, points, etc. I couldn't help but feel crushed after the first day getting a call saying I didn't get a invite back. While another girl on my floor (whose also a jr.) wore pants as well and didn't even look professional like she just came from class when it was supposed to be a polished day, got two bids. Despite her getting a group I didn't want in the end it just makes me wonder what I did wrong not to even get a bid back on the first day. What makes me feel even worse at one of the pre meetings one girl asked how many girls won't get bids and the gamma chi said we haven't had anyone not get one in a couple of years. What could I have possibly done wrong? I don't think I'm gonna do informal rush bc I was upset when this happened and my friends aren't into Greek life anyway in fact they warned me how dumb they though it was, but it still bothers me bc I was something I wanted to do.

AZTheta · #2 09-19-2017, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123girl

So I went out for rush in the fall as a jr. but I'm older than than the average jr, which I think is the main reason I didn't get a bid. I'm 24 and transferred into a university from a local college, and most of the girls were fresh out of high school. I missed the opportunity to this right out of high school bc I went to a local college and worked until I knew where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. (I didn't say this) I know a couple of other girls in other groups who were transfers but I was the only one in mine. I also wore a blue keyhole sweater while all the other girls in my group wore sun dresses. The slide show said something like that was okay but I couldn't help feel like I wasn't supposed to dress like I was going for a job interview. I thought the conversations I had with the girls in most of the groups were engaging and nice I talked about leadership roles I had in high school despite it being a while now, my major, trips I'm taking over break, complement them and their house, and asked them general questions about their philanthropys, points, etc. I couldn't help but feel crushed after the first day getting a call saying I didn't get a invite back. While another girl on my floor (whose also a jr.) wore pants as well and didn't even look professional like she just came from class when it was supposed to be a polished day, got two bids. Despite her getting a group I didn't want in the end it just makes me wonder what I did wrong not to even get a bid back on the first day. What makes me feel even worse at one of the pre meetings one girl asked how many girls won't get bids and the gamma chi said we haven't had anyone not get one in a couple of years. What could I have possibly done wrong? I don't think I'm gonna do informal rush bc I was upset when this happened and my friends aren't into Greek life anyway in fact they warned me how dumb they though it was, but it still bothers me bc I was something I wanted to do.

I'm very sorry that recruitment didn't go well for you. We don't know what happened; we weren't there, and we don't know you or your school, so speculation is pointless. The best I can offer is this: hazarding a guess that none of the chapters you visited saw you as a good fit, for whatever reason(s). That's probably of little comfort to you in your disappointment, and I do hope you'll find other activities to engage in so that this fades into the background. As for informal, that's really your choice. Some women shine in less stressful settings. The pressure cooker of formal recruitment isn't for everyone.

Titchou · #3 09-19-2017, 07:09 AM

I'm very sorry you didn't receive any invites after the first day. I won't speculate beyond a personal experience I had as a recruitment adviser. We had a young lady of your age going thru recruitment and the collegians all asked the same question: why would a 24 year old want to hang out with a bunch of 18-19 year olds? If your campus doesn't have a separate upperclass quota, it's really difficult for them to get a bid-esp juniors of your age. They just don't want to use that place for someone who won't be there 4 years. COB might be a better opportunity for you to separate yourself from the "pack." You didn't mention whether you had your recs in order either - also your social media accounts should be up to par!

carnation · #4 09-19-2017, 08:21 AM

"Yale student".

AZTheta · #5 09-19-2017, 08:49 AM

Perhaps, carnation. The thought crossed my mind, too. Especially the "blue keyhole sweater" comment (WTH is that? something a granny would wear?). Let's see if the OP ever comes back, shall we?

carnation · #6 09-19-2017, 08:59 AM

Same bad grammar and misspellings.

AZTheta · #7 09-19-2017, 09:16 AM

So maybe not Yale? I'm thinking Stanford.

ASTalumna06 · #8 09-19-2017, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Perhaps, carnation. The thought crossed my mind, too. Especially the "blue keyhole sweater" comment (WTH is that? something a granny would wear?). Let's see if the OP ever comes back, shall we?

I thought "keyhole" sweaters, and dresses, and bathing suits were common now?

I'm more concerned with the spelling and grammar. Assuming this is legit, perhaps grades were an issue.

kitekat · #9 09-19-2017, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Perhaps, carnation. The thought crossed my mind, too. Especially the "blue keyhole sweater" comment (WTH is that? something a granny would wear?). Let's see if the OP ever comes back, shall we?

Keyhole cut outs in tops are very trendy right now. It could be appropriate for a house tour or skit day at a school with a more casual and laid-back recruitment.

33girl · #10 09-19-2017, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123girl

While another girl on my floor (whose also a jr.) wore pants as well and didn't even look professional like she just came from class when it was supposed to be a polished day, got two bids.

If this was a formal rush with NPC sororities, no girl got two bids. It doesn't work that way.

AZTheta · #11 09-19-2017, 11:53 PM

Keyhole, okay, trendy; are you talking about the ones I see with holes or cutouts in the shoulders? If so, I didn't know that's what they are called. No, nevermind, I just googled keyhole sweater. Not what I was thinking of at all.

I pictured a high necked sweater with a teardrop shaped cutout at the neckline. Like a granny would wear. I think I've been watching too many PBS British shows (Grantchester in particular).

33girl · #12 09-19-2017, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Keyhole, okay, trendy; are you talking about the ones I see with holes or cutouts in the shoulders? If so, I didn't know that's what they are called.

Those are called cold shoulder tops or alternately "those who cannot remember the 90s are doomed to repeat it" tops.

DubaiSis · #13 09-19-2017, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

If this was a formal rush with NPC sororities, no girl got two bids. It doesn't work that way.

I think she meant invitations. She got invited back to 2 chapters for round 2. Or that's my interpretation anyway.

Titchou · #14 09-20-2017, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Those are called cold shoulder tops or alternately "those who cannot remember the 90s are doomed to repeat it" tops.

Or hoochie mamas in my book!

honeychile · #15 09-20-2017, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Those are called cold shoulder tops or alternately "those who cannot remember the 90s are doomed to repeat it" tops.

Yet again, you prove why I am declaring my undying admiration for you, 33! That is definitely signature worthy!

Maybe I missed a post, but a 20-year-old junior doesn't have a lot in common with a 25-year-old junior. That was my take on the lack of invitations.