Questions from an International Student

Stelaa · #1 02-20-2012, 10:16 AM

Hey everyone! I made this account just so I can ask this question, because to be honest, I don't know who else can help me! I currently live in Dubai with my parents and sisters but I am from Bulgaria. I'm in the second semester of my junior year in a Private IB school here.

I have wanted to study in the US since forever. A few years ago, I discovered sororities and Greek life. I wasn't sure whether it was something I would like to get into, but as the time approaches to choose colleges, I decided to look into it. I think I would genuinely be interested in joining one, (if they would have me, of course :P), but I understand it is a complicated and costly process in the long run, and it involves mutual selection.

I'm totally sold on the idea, but I haven't even mentioned it to my parents. Neither of my parents have been to American universities, and they basically told me to choose the schools I want to go to, because they trust me. Which means they know absolutely 0 about American Universities and American culture. Neither of us have even been to the US!

I can already see my dad saying something along the lines of 'My parents didn't pay my friends to be friends with me!' or 'Why can't you just find friends yourself? Why do I have to pay for that as well? Do you realize you have two more sisters I have to put through school?'

And so on. So, my first question is How do I explain to a person who has no clue what sororities are, why it will be beneficial for me to join one?

Also, as I am an international student, I know virtually no one who has ever been in a sorority. I understand that you need recommendations, but as I know nobody, I have no idea where to even begin asking for those. I realize, I won't be needing all this until next year when I've already figured out where I'm going, but I do like to plan ahead. Some of the schools I plan on applying to were listed as schools where you absolutely need recommendations. How do I go about obtaining those when I don't know anybody who can help me?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for replying.

DubaiSis · #2 02-20-2012, 10:46 AM

I live in Dubai and I've sent you a PM. Hopefully I can help! I hope you applied for the AWA Dubai scholarship! It's a LOT of money.

Stelaa · #3 02-20-2012, 10:58 AM

Yes, I did reply as well, though I'm unsure if my message got through because while it appears as though I've replied, I can't find the message in my 'sent' folder. Thank you very much for the scholarship information, I will definitely have a look at it.

Kevin · #4 02-20-2012, 11:23 AM

Not sure, but there may be a limit on the number of posts you have to have here before private messaging is functional. I'm not sure whether the admin has set that up, but it would explain the lack of private messages we've been receiving from Nigerians wanting to expatriate significant financial assets (and only we can help).

Greek_or_Geek? · #5 02-20-2012, 11:43 AM

Here are a few facts that should matter to your parents:

1. Sorority women have consistently higher grade point averages than the unaffiliated students at the same college. Academic achievement is very important to sororities.

2. Sorority women have much higher graduation rates than unaffiliated students at the same school.

3. A sorority makes a large campus in a strange town (and country!) much smaller. In addition to giving you a social life, a sorority provides you with a support system right away which can help you adjust to being so far away from home (and should keep you happier an more motivated to stay in school and do well!)

This web site could provide your parents with some more insight on the benefits of sorority life from the perspective of the parents of sorority women: http://www.sororityparents.com/

amIblue? · #6 02-20-2012, 11:56 AM

Also, depending on which schools you may be applying to, recommendations may not be super crucial. I wouldn't recommend that you post the schools you are considering, but as a general rule of thumb: schools in the southeastern part of the US + Texas, you have to have recommendations. Schools in the western and northeastern parts of the US, recommendations are not so crucial. Before any GC'ers get all bent out of shape with me for saying this: This is only a very general rule of thumb, there are always exceptions.

DubaiSis · #7 02-20-2012, 11:57 AM

^^^ that's the other website I couldn't think of! I directed her, via PM which did work, to npcwomen.org but didn't find the link for sororityparents.com.

One thing I've heard from Emiratis (which means not exactly the same situation) is they go to the US to go to school and get overwhelmed by all the choices available to them socially, and end up killing their GPA. One friend of mine said he went to UCLA and tanked and his buddy went to Iowa and because there was so much less to do (and so wildly different than Dubai, trust me on that one) he did just fine. This is where sorority membership can really help because it can rein you in. You have study hours, meetings, structured events, and you don't go out looking for trouble. It means MORE social options for a lot of 18 year olds but can mean restrictions for others. And that can be a good thing.

Stelaa · #8 02-21-2012, 09:09 AM

Hey, thanks a lot for your responses!
I am mostly applying to schools in the Southeast amIblue? so, I will most likely need recs, yes. But there is time. I actually spoke to my parents yesterday, and I explained all of the benefits that 'parents' care about, such as networking, and better grades, also DubaiSis, I did mention that being in a sorority will most likely 'rein me in' as you said, so it'll be an easier transition. My parents seem to be pretty on board with the idea, however I didn't mention the fact that dues can reach up to 2 grand a year, so that may be why. Oh well, all in good time! Thanks a lot everybody!

DubaiSis · #9 02-21-2012, 01:20 PM

Membership dues vary GREATLY from school to school. At my school the cost to live in the house (the largest part of membership expense) is by school rule approximately the same as living in the dorms. At other places it can be really expensive. So it's just something you'll have to research as you narrow down your schools.

And not to be flippant about it, but college is crazy expensive. Another couple grand a year isn't going to make that big of a difference when you will probably be paying full freight as an international student.

Stelaa · #10 02-21-2012, 03:29 PM

Yes, you're right. Two grand shouldn't make a difference, but it does to my parents. They're willing to pay as much as they can afford for things that they believe I need and will benefit from, which is why I've decided to convince them that this is something that will help me grow as a person before I mention the cost...and offer to take out a larger loan than I'd planned.

FSUZeta · #11 02-21-2012, 03:40 PM

In other places, the cost to live and dine in the sorority house can be less than the cost to live in a dorm room and eat 3 meals a day in the campus cafeteria-it all depends. Not to mention that the food in the sorority houses is usually waaaaay better and healthier than campus food. You might explore the cost to live in a dorm and eat 3 meals a day on campus and the cost to rent an apartment, buy food at the grocery store and prepare it yourself, plus the cost of gas to get to campus and get to the grocery store. When you have those totals, your parents might be able to see that it costs no more to live in the sorority house than it does on campus. Also be warned that often you have to lease an apartment for a full year, not just the 9 months you are attending school.

Dues are different from the cost associated with living in a sorority house. Some campuses don't have sorority houses so dues may average $300-$400 a semester on such a campus.

And if one figures in all the amenities to living in a beautiful sorority house vs. a dorm room, well, the dorm room just can't compare.

DubaiSis · #12 02-22-2012, 07:08 AM

Not even close. I loved my chapter house and thankfully I knew even then that I'd never be able to live in a house anywhere near that nice again in my life. And when I was going to college, my parents had NO money - it was the 80's in Iowa, about the worst place in the US to be at that time - and they still considered it money well-spent.

Oh, and by the way, it looks like there IS going to be a sorority information session at ASD this spring and for sure next spring. I just recently met a fireball AOII who just moved to Dubai and has a daughter in Stelaa's grade. Information will go out to all the schools, but I'll make sure you know about it!

Stelaa · #13 02-22-2012, 07:46 AM

Yes, please do let me know if this session happens. My schools seems to be a lot more involved with UK and Australian and Canadian universities and university visits, and a lot less involved with the US as a whole. I don't know the reason for that, but we've had zero information on sessions anywhere, which refer to the US, be it a university or something else. So, if you do have this session next spring, please PM me so that I know.

By the way, thank you FSU Zeta and the rest who looked at the financial aspect of joining a sorority. Now my parents will have no reason to say no, because not only will they see the benefits, but they'll also see that it's not more expensive than simply living in a dorm!