Speaker

MSUgreek · #1 10-10-2003, 12:26 AM

Hey all,
Yesterday, the greek community at MSU was audience to a really great speaker, David Stollman. Apparently, he speaks to greeks all over about recruitment, membership, stereotypes...all kinds of stuff. I was just wondering if anybody else on greek chat has heard him, and what you thought.

WhiteDaisy128 · #2 10-10-2003, 12:35 AM

David came and spoke to us at a Panhellenic Summit. I thought he was awesome...good recruitment prep for us...

He only said one thing that bothered me a bit...he said "no one ever quits becase of the money" - one of my dearest sisters had to turn over her membership because her father lost his job and she didn't have enough money to stay a member...I felt so bad for her but there is nothing she, I, or we could have done...

Overall though, I thought he was amazing. I wish more people could hear him speak.

kddani · #3 10-10-2003, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WhiteDaisy128

He only said one thing that bothered me a bit...he said "no one ever quits becase of the money" - one of my dearest sisters had to turn over her membership because her father lost his job and she didn't have enough money to stay a member...I felt so bad for her but there is nothing she, I, or we could have done...

Is this the guy that's a Sig Ep? I'm 99.9% positive it was the same guy that spoke to us several years ago.

I was pissed off about the very same comment.
I had stood up to ask a question- saying that as treasurer, I know a lot about the financial difficulties some of our members have and the financial concerns of some of the new members and asking if he had any advice on handling that. Instead of giving some useful information, he made this comment rather snidely. There's only so much you can do in payment plans, etc. The majority of the kids from my school are from working class families- the other Pitt greeks on here can attest to that. Many have money issues. Actually, we had one girl who's dad was laid off and she was working 2 part time jobs to send money home to her family.

Especially when the economy's like it is, i think that this was such a ridiculous comment of his. Maybe he comes from a privileged background, but I sure don't, and 90% of my sisters didn't.

WhiteDaisy128 · #4 10-10-2003, 01:07 AM

Yeah, when he made the comment about money he said that there is always SOME WAY to make money to pay dues...it's just how bad you want it...All I could think of is my poor friend selling herself on the street corner! That would NEVER happen of course, but that's the only way I could see someone making quick money like that...

But like I said, all of the other things he said were good...especially about formal recruitment and how every organization should COB year round...his big thing was something to this effect:

1. Meet people
2. Make them your friends
3. Introduce them to your friends
4. Introduce them to your organization
5. Offer them a bid.

He had a lot of good, valid points...but when he talked about groups that doubled and/or trippled membership in like 4 or 5 months, I just think that would be hard...but possible I guess.

33girl · #5 10-10-2003, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
Is this the guy that's a Sig Ep? I'm 99.9% positive it was the same guy that spoke to us several years ago.

I was pissed off about the very same comment.
I had stood up to ask a question- saying that as treasurer, I know a lot about the financial difficulties some of our members have and the financial concerns of some of the new members and asking if he had any advice on handling that. Instead of giving some useful information, he made this comment rather snidely. There's only so much you can do in payment plans, etc. The majority of the kids from my school are from working class families- the other Pitt greeks on here can attest to that. Many have money issues. Actually, we had one girl who's dad was laid off and she was working 2 part time jobs to send money home to her family.

Especially when the economy's like it is, i think that this was such a ridiculous comment of his. Maybe he comes from a privileged background, but I sure don't, and 90% of my sisters didn't.

Man, I would love to hear the response if he said that at one of the state schools.

and yes Danielle, he's a Sig Ep, I think from Penn or somewhere in the eastern part of the state.

sugar and spice · #6 10-10-2003, 01:20 AM

I think you're taking that remark out of context though. When he spoke with us, he said, "Nobody ever quits because of the money. If they do, that means you're not offering enough for the money you're asking them to spend." And I think that point is legitimate.

If a sorority provided me with alumnae networking that almost guaranteed me a job after graduation, or at least some significant internship that would help me get a job, would I be more likely to shell out more money for it now, knowing that it would all come back to me?

If a sorority provided the sisterhood that I knew I couldn't live without, would I be willing to find a way to pay the dues?

The point he's trying to make is that, if your sorority was offering enough, you'd be willing to find ways to pay the cash -- whether that involves selling yourself on the street corner, taking on two jobs, going on temporary leave from the sorority to make some more cash, or taking out extra loans.

But most of our sororities don't offer enough to be worth selling ourselves on the corner.

33girl · #7 10-10-2003, 01:27 AM

I think what bothered Danielle, and what would bother me, is the intimation that if someone doesn't do all those things to try and pay dues, it makes them a bad sister. It's well and good to say that you would shell out money for it, but sometimes even with payment plans, even with student loans, it's not feasible.

In addition, not every sorority has a "hardship leave" or "temporary alum" status, or one that can be achieved without jumping through hoops.

Optimist Prime · #8 10-10-2003, 01:48 AM

Isn't he a SigEp? If so and is the one I'm thinking of he's a good speaker

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #9 10-10-2003, 01:51 AM

mine didn't. Phi Mu also doesn't have "inactive" status. When I left -- with a ton of bills I couldn't pay, and sorority at the bottom of the list -- there were a lot of hard feelings. A good sisters would find a way to pay her dues.

I did. It took two years, but I did.

Unfortunately I didn't get any of those friendships back, and as we all know, the friendships you make within your collegiate sisterhood are some of the most important you'll ever have.

Fortunately when things got so, so awful I ended up turning to things like GC and my national board and a sisterhood listserve. Those sisters didn't know me on a chapter level, so they didn't know what I didn't tell them -- that I was way behind on my dues, and had left my chapter on poor terms because of it. Getting to know those sisters let me develop sisterhood on a different level than just what I'd experienced in college.

I have an exboyfriend who still refers to them disparagingly as my "internet friends." It made me really angry for awhile, and then I was just kinda like, eh. They're my sisters anyway.

Point being: Sometimes there ISN'T a way. I needed my sorority SO BADLY then, and it offered me so much that I need to take advantage of THEN. But the money did get in the way.

MSUgreek · #10 10-10-2003, 03:39 AM

yeah. This guy was a Sig Ep. Im pretty sure hes either from philly or maryland.

aabby757 · #11 10-10-2003, 01:05 PM

I SPEECHLESS. I know this guy. I took him to one of my formals.

He went to the University of Maryland and he was a Sig Ep. He was president of the IFC and remember him telling me he wants to be the first Jewish president.

Does he give speeches for a living?

This is unbelievable.

I won't say I'm very fond of him at all, however, I respected something he did.

At Maryland, back when ATMs were just becoming hot, there was LONG line for one that we were both in. The line went on forever.

And there was a woman with down syndrome, or something and she was struggling with the machine. And no one was helping her. (It was one of those machines that had buttons on the side and the bottom and can see with ATMs being so new could be very confusing). Anyway, I was about to step up and help her when this jack ass butted in front of her and was yelling at her for taking too long, being stupid, etc. And, Dave, in front of everyone bascially told him how "cool" he was for making fun of her in public, and really stood up to this prick. Dave is not what I would call a tall guy and this guy towered over him and Dave didn't back down.

And the girl got her money and walked away.

If you know more details about him, please pass them along. What a small world!

sundevil2000 · #12 10-10-2003, 01:27 PM

Dave Stollman spoke at Arizona State University 2 weeks ago, and had an effect on everyone. He really is a great speaker!

WhiteDaisy128 · #13 10-10-2003, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aabby757
I SPEECHLESS. I know this guy. I took him to one of my formals.

He went to the University of Maryland and he was a Sig Ep. He was president of the IFC and remember him telling me he wants to be the first Jewish president.

Does he give speeches for a living?

This is unbelievable.

I won't say I'm very fond of him at all, however, I respected something he did.

At Maryland, back when ATMs were just becoming hot, there was LONG line for one that we were both in. The line went on forever.

And there was a woman with down syndrome, or something and she was struggling with the machine. And no one was helping her. (It was one of those machines that had buttons on the side and the bottom and can see with ATMs being so new could be very confusing). Anyway, I was about to step up and help her when this jack ass butted in front of her and was yelling at her for taking too long, being stupid, etc. And, Dave, in front of everyone bascially told him how "cool" he was for making fun of her in public, and really stood up to this prick. Dave is not what I would call a tall guy and this guy towered over him and Dave didn't back down.

And the girl got her money and walked away.

If you know more details about him, please pass them along. What a small world!

Yes, he makes a living doing speeches for Campus Speak. He seems just like the kind of person that would do that good deed for the girl at the ATM. You can get the contact info for him here:

http://www.campuspeak.com/speakers/dstollman/

I think it would be awesome to travel the country talking about one of your passions.

sugar and spice · #14 10-10-2003, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
I think what bothered Danielle, and what would bother me, is the intimation that if someone doesn't do all those things to try and pay dues, it makes them a bad sister. It's well and good to say that you would shell out money for it, but sometimes even with payment plans, even with student loans, it's not feasible.

In addition, not every sorority has a "hardship leave" or "temporary alum" status, or one that can be achieved without jumping through hoops.

The thing is that he's not saying that anyone is a bad sister, and I'm surprised that that's the message that anyone got from his speech. If anything, he puts the blame on the chapter. The basic message is that a GLO, like anything else, is a product that a chapter needs to sell. And if someone cites money as an issue, that either means that you're charging too much or not offering enough. And since most of us don't have much control over how much dues are, the thing that is the biggest problem, and the thing we have to change, is what we're offering to our sisters.

He's not really saying anything all that controversial. The main point that he's trying to make is that we'd all pay more for a sorority with great sisterhood, girls we feel connected to, tons of fun social activities, a beautiful house, a well-stocked exam file, no hazing, insert whatever is important to you here . . . than we'd pay for one that was lacking all of those things.

I agree with that, and I think most of you would.

In most cases where money is an issue, it's not really the main issue. For example, in a case like the aforementioned girl whose father passed away, (and I clearly know nothing about the situation, but I'm guessing) chances are that she could have gotten the money somehow, but didn't want to deal with the stress of dealing with, say, another job at the same time as dealing with the stress of her father's death. In that case I think that her father's death was (and should have been! -- I'm not criticizing) her main priority over the sorority. It wasn't the money that was the real issue. Money was a minor issue combined with other bigger factors. All that Stollman is saying is that if you want or need something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it no matter how much it costs -- much like those homeless guys that walk around in $120 sneakers.

In this case it doesn't seem like sorority business was this girl's main priority (and again, I don't think it should have been at that point in time).

FuzzieAlum · #15 10-10-2003, 07:32 PM

I still think it's controversial, I'm sorry.

Think of it this way: Having a place to live (not as a Greek, but as anybody) is one of the most important thing to any of us. We'll spend a huge percentage of our income if need be just to have a roof over our heads. Nevertheless, not everyone can afford it. Yes, there are homeless people out there.

Would you say that "houses and apartments just aren't offering the homeless enough"? Of course not. The truth is, anything that costs something will be out of financial reach to somebody.

Now I think there's a valid point that if a chapter has a *lot* of members dropping for financial reasons, financial reasons aren't really the problem. It's when you take that argument down to each and every member who leaves for financial reasons it's controversial.