Lavaliering

KKGHH · #1 10-06-2011, 12:11 AM

I am a new member of my chapter and new to greek life. I understand lavaliers, but my boyfriend does not. We are definitely in a serious relationship and I would love to be lavaliered. How do I explain it to him without making it awkward? He should surprise me with it and give it to be because he wants to, not because I told him to. Also, I get initiated next week. I think its too early to be lavailered because I don't want my sisters to think that I am not taking the process seriously. How long should I wait into being an active before I get lavaliered? We do a beautiful candlepassing, so I want to respect traditions.

KSUViolet06 · #2 10-06-2011, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KKGHH

I am a new member of my chapter and new to greek life. I understand lavaliers, but my boyfriend does not. We are definitely in a serious relationship and I would love to be lavaliered. How do I explain it to him without making it awkward? He should surprise me with it and give it to be because he wants to, not because I told him to. Also, I get initiated next week. I think its too early to be lavailered because I don't want my sisters to think that I am not taking the process seriously. How long should I wait into being an active before I get lavaliered? We do a beautiful candlepassing, so I want to respect traditions.

Lavaliering has been discussed here ad naseum and there is no standard lavaliering practice or time frame. It depends on your school/chapter/etc.:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ht=Lavaliering

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ht=Lavaliering

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ht=Lavaliering

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ight=Lavaliere

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ght=Lavaliered

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ghlight=pinned

33girl · #3 10-06-2011, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KKGHH

I am a new member of my chapter and new to greek life. I understand lavaliers, but my boyfriend does not. We are definitely in a serious relationship and I would love to be lavaliered. How do I explain it to him without making it awkward? He should surprise me with it and give it to be because he wants to, not because I told him to. Also, I get initiated next week. I think its too early to be lavailered because I don't want my sisters to think that I am not taking the process seriously. How long should I wait into being an active before I get lavaliered? We do a beautiful candlepassing, so I want to respect traditions.

Lavaliering has nothing to do with how long you've been a member. It has to do with how long/how serious your relationship with the guy is. It's not like you're giving him your letters. Or are you?

amIblue? · #4 10-06-2011, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Lavaliering has nothing to do with how long you've been a member. It has to do with how long/how serious your relationship with the guy is. It's not like you're giving him your letters. Or are you?

This. I recall that a week after bid day, we had a candlelight. We were so excited to find out who was the lucky woman, especially, as the candle had been passed around to the "engaged" round. It was one of our new pledges.

Welcome to Kappa.

Don't pressure your boyfriend to lavaliere you just to do it. It will happen when it is supposed to happen.

KKGHH · #5 10-06-2011, 03:25 PM

Thanks guys. I am not giving him my letters, no. I am also not pressuring him to do it. I just wish he knew what it meant and understood it without me explaining it to him. Its like a fiance having to explain to the other what an engagement ring means. He doesn't understand why I prefer a lavalier over a fancy diamond necklace.

KillarneyRose · #6 10-06-2011, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KKGHH

He doesn't understand why I prefer a lavalier over a fancy diamond necklace.

I'd personally go for the fancy diamond necklace!

amIblue? · #7 10-06-2011, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KKGHH

Thanks guys. I am not giving him my letters, no. I am also not pressuring him to do it. I just wish he knew what it meant and understood it without me explaining it to him. Its like a fiance having to explain to the other what an engagement ring means. He doesn't understand why I prefer a lavalier over a fancy diamond necklace.

Oh, honey, take the diamond.

summer_gphib · #8 10-06-2011, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KKGHH

Its like a fiance having to explain to the other what an engagement ring means. He doesn't understand why I prefer a lavalier over a fancy diamond necklace.

My husband actually had no idea how to "get engaged." I had to explain it to him. He was like "wait, I thought you gave an engagement ring at the wedding!"

Sometimes you have to explain it to them, what it is, and then let them take it from there. SOME men can be clueless.

You could just talk about lavaliering in general, and let him know how meaningful it is to you. Not say outright that "I want this now." That way, your still putting the ball in his court without being demanding.

thetalady · #9 10-06-2011, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KKGHH

Thanks guys. I am not giving him my letters, no. I am also not pressuring him to do it. I just wish he knew what it meant and understood it without me explaining it to him.

Honey, get used it it. There are going to be a LOT of things in the future that you are going to wish your man understood without being told! That is just the way it is!

His fraternity brothers should really explain it & the significance to him. Giving a lavalier should be really meaningful.

33girl · #10 10-06-2011, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KKGHH

Thanks guys. I am not giving him my letters, no. I am also not pressuring him to do it. I just wish he knew what it meant and understood it without me explaining it to him. Its like a fiance having to explain to the other what an engagement ring means. He doesn't understand why I prefer a lavalier over a fancy diamond necklace.

He might have rules in his fraternity that he has to adhere to regarding this - or his fraternity just might not do it. Some don't. I'll go w/ everyone that says take the diamond!!

DeltaBetaBaby · #11 10-06-2011, 11:31 PM

If he doesn't know what a lavalier is, then it doesn't mean anything to him, so why would you want something symbolic that has no meaning to your boyfriend?

DrPhil · #12 10-06-2011, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

If he doesn't know what a lavalier is, then it doesn't mean anything to him, so why would you want something symbolic that has no meaning to your boyfriend?

Thank you.