It's Not Just the Weather That's Cooler In Canada

[Lady Pi Phi]

One of my sisters sent this to me...Yay for Canada!!!


It's not just the weather that's cooler in Canada

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Pittsburg, PA Post-Gazette

You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there.
And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse.
Allow me to introduce Canada.
The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up there, but they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso machine.
Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-along brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn't willing, as it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner menus weren't angrily changed to include "freedom bacon," because nobody here eats the stuff anyway.
And then there's the wild drug situation: Canadian doctors are authorized to dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering legislation that would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard, but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine, like a speeding ticket. This is to allow law enforcement to concentrate resources on traffickers; if your garden is full of wasps, it's smarter to go for the nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug. Or, in the United States, bong.
Now, here's the part that I, as an American, can't understand. These poor benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have a drug problem: Marijuana offenses have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun control laws, which means that the criminals must all be heavily armed, the law-abiding
civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive confiscation campaign. (The laws have been in place since the '70s, but I'm sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.) They don't even
have a death penalty! And yet ... nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining since 1991.
Violent crimes fell 13 percent in 2002. Of course, there are still crimes committed with guns -- brought in from the United States, which has become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America -- but my theory is that the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most criminals too relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more focused on shoplifting boxes of Ho-Hos from convenience stores.
And then there's the most reckless move of all: Just last month, Canada decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose, what can they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get their man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the only ones who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they all have health insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up north.
This sort of behavior is a clear and present danger to all our stereotypes about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country of polite, beer-
drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom-fighters in a bloody revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists more interested in order and good government than liberty and independence.
But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so much of our time
trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if Canadians are
so reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about letting people do what they want to?
Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to polls. As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large, well-organized religious groups and thus has more in common with those of
Scandinavia than those of the United States, or, say, Iran.
Canada signed the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds drink, has more of its population living in urban areas and accepts more immigrants per capita than the United States.
These are all things we've been told will wreck our society. But I guess Canadians are different, because theirs seems oddly sound. Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult -- more secure. They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they're not afraid of each other.
I wonder if America will ever be that cool.

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Merciful moose, what can they be thinking?

Hey, what else is there to add?

[RACooper]

Heh...

I saw that article republished in the Toronto Star this morning....

Interesting take if somewhat simplistic.... I do love the slightly off-kilter sarcasm though

[KillarneyRose]

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has an "H" at the end

[bcdphie]

That was a neat article - but 2 of the facts are backwards:


Parliament is considering legislation that would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard, but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine, like a speeding ticket

This piece of legislation has already been passed - marijuana in Canada has been decriminalized since late May/early June

and


Just last month, Canada decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages.


Currently only BC and Ontario recognize same sex marriages - there is currently legislation in Parliament to ammend the Constitution to recognize same sex marriages nation wide

[AOcutiePi4ever]

thats it!! i am moving back to canada!!! i love canada!!

[Lady Pi Phi]

For those that don't know...Canadian Bacon is just Peameal bacon


oh...and it's a movie too

[bcdphie]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi



oh...and it's a movie too

I love Canadian Bacon - so funny - especially the scene where the truck gets pulled over by the language police for only having Eat My Shorts written in english and not in French too... gotta love Bill 101.

[Tom Earp]

I am wondering, if Canada is so perfect, Why Quebec is trying to become their own Country??! Well other than the Language is mostly France'

I am Thinking Now, that when we invaded Canada, we gave it back!

I am still of the beleif, if you do not Love The Country you are living in, then get the Hell out and Try To Find Something Better!

Brother Cooper, I am in Hopes That one of these Days, WE GET TO MEET EACH OTHER!

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by bcdphie
This piece of legislation has already been passed - marijuana in Canada has been decriminalized since late May/early June...

Any truth to the rumor that they're changing the Canadian national anthem to "Oh Canibis?"