bid day gone wrong..so sorry this is long but heres my story

[lillyluv93]

..

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by lillyluv93

hey y'all! so I need a little bit of advice. I rushed at my school in the fall as a transfer. Every thing was going perfect up until bid day. I lasted till pref night at my top 2 choices and my 3rd house was obviously the house I did NOT want to get in. I wont say I got bid promised but lets just say I had no reason what so ever to believe they weren't going to put me at the top of their list.

>>Why? Were you at the membership selection meeting? There is no way you can be sure of anything that happens behind close doors during recruitment.

Bid day came and well....I got matched with my 3rd choice. I automatically knew something was wrong because literally my top 2 houses did and said everything to me for me to believe they wanted me real bad!

>>Of course they did. Just because you matched your 3rd choice first doesn't mean that they didn't want you "real bad". It might mean that #3 wanted you the most.

2 weeks after bid day I found out that my FIRST choice had me on THEIR first choice..

>>A. How would you know that? B. It doesn't matter that you were on their "first list" if #3 had you higher on that list.

yet I still somehow got matched with my last house? It was a "I thought you dropped us, no I thought you dropped me!" kinda thing. So obviously I was beyond upset that somehow I got screwed over SO bad.

>>No, you didn't get "screwed over".

how could this of had even happened?

>>My guess is that #3 placed you higher on their bid list.

And I also believe my 2nd choice had me on their first list as well considering it appeared as though they wanted me even more than my other houses.

>>Again, how would you *know* this?

so my question is..although Im not too sure if I want to go through the whole process again, if I do I'm scared the 2 houses that I actually wanted to get into (that I lasted till pref when I rushed) will think I dropped them the day before bid day when I rushed and automatically drop me. One of them actually knows I got screwed over but I want the other house to know as well. Any advice?! thanks and sorry for a long post!

So you're running around campus crying about how you were "screwed over"? I think you pretty much blew any future chances during recruitment. How disrespectful and tactless.

[als463]

OP take that entitlement attitude elsewhere.

[IndianaSigKap]

With RFM, if you ranked ABC first and you were on their first list, then you would have been an ABC. Point blank that's how it works. There was no screw up. I believe that your friends are being your friends and telling you what you want to hear. But it just isn't true. In a large, chapter they are just two votes, If you attended pref at ABC, then yes, they wanted you. However you may have been on the second or third list. Therefore once ABC fills its first list, you will be matched with your second choice unless their first list is filled. Then you will be matched with your third choice. That's how it works. I am sorry you are disappointed, but you need to pull it together and move on in a direction that will make you happy.

[AZTheta]

No. You did NOT get screwed over. Sorry. That's the fact, Jack.

If your campus is using RFM, there is NO WAY that you would have ended up with your "third choice" if your first OR second choice had you high enough on their bid list.

Reality check: you were not high enough on either of the first two sororities' bid lists to be extended a bid by either one. They were full before they came to your name on their list. Sorry Charlie. You can believe whatever you want to, but you were NOT present at membership selection or when the bid lists were filled out and turned in.

I do not think there is a conspiracy against you, so don't even go there.

ETA: IndianaSigKap - jinx! buy me a coke!

[BlueOwl]

Sorry to tell you, but Bid Day went technically perfectly. Now please remember that if you were invited to pref round, then all three of those houses would have gladly welcomed you as a member. But they pref way more girls than they can offer bids to. Each house formulates a ranked list. Some girls automatically get a top spot--legacies, sister is in the house, daughter of high ranking alumni, those couple of girls that every chapter wants, etc.. Beyond that, the names get placed. I know that in my daughter's chapter there is a A list and a B list. Some of the favorite girls end up on the B list because the A list fills up quickly. Its not that the A list are the only names they want! No, lots of favorites are on the B list! Long story short, you may have been ranked higher up on the chapter that offered you a bid. It doesn't mean that your fave house didn't want you. They did, and Im sure many members were crushed when they didn't hear your name read aloud when the bid list was revealed. It happens all the time. Please be happy and grateful for the bid that you received. By the way, the general membership usually has NO IDEA how specific people are ranked or who dropped who!! What that active member told you was very inappropriate.

Good luck! Hey, you got into a sorority ! Be happy! Read the 'It gets Better" link!!

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

>It doesn't matter that you were on their "first list" if #3 had you higher on that list.
>My guess is #3 placed you higher on their bid list.
>It might mean that #3 wanted you the most.

This is incorrect. It would make no difference where she ranked on #3's list IF she ranked #1 first and #1 had her ANYWHERE on their first list. She would be a #1 if she were anywhere on their first list and she had ranked them highest.

Of course, that doesn't change that the OP is completely incorrect that she "got screwed." Some #1 members either lied to save her feelings/their own discomfort or they didn't have accurate information.

[lillyluv93]

My friends are in the PLEDGE class for that sorority. I have 5 friends that all pledged for that sorority and to this day each one of them tells me how they really wanted me and how girls they just met (who are already in that sorority) know who I am and always ask what happened to her? or oh "she dropped us" so actually, no, they're not saying it to "cheer me up"

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by lillyluv93

My friends are in the PLEDGE class for that sorority. I have 5 friends that all pledged for that sorority and to this day each one of them tells me how they really wanted me and how girls they just met (who are already in that sorority) know who I am and always ask what happened to her? or oh "she dropped us" so actually, no, they're not saying it to "cheer me up"

So what exactly is it that you want strangers on the Internet to help you with?

[Maman]

Does your school offer COB during spring?

[carnation]

Hey, don't say "pledge FOR a sorority", just "pledge a sorority".

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by lillyluv93

My friends are in the PLEDGE class for that sorority. I have 5 friends that all pledged for that sorority and to this day each one of them tells me how they really wanted me and how girls they just met (who are already in that sorority) know who I am and always ask what happened to her? or oh "she dropped us" so actually, no, they're not saying it to "cheer me up"

Sorry. This doesn't change things.

Your friends are New Members. They know zip about Membership Selection. Do you really think your friends are going to tell you anything different?

[lillyluv93]

okay, im just going to forget about last years rush and go for it again and rush as a sophomore in the fall and hope for the best.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by lillyluv93

okay, im just going to forget about last years rush and go for it again and rush as a sophomore in the fall and hope for the best.

You said you transferred in last fall. A little confused - how will you still be a sophomore? And if you are at either UA or ASU, you need to know going in as a re-rusher that your chances of getting a bid are very very small. You weren't high enough on either the first list or second list for your top two choices this past fall. You'll be another year older. That generally does NOT improve the odds.

[clemsongirl]

Think of it this way-if your top two choices didn't have you high enough on their bid list to get you this year, why on earth will they want you next year? Especially when you're rolling around trash-talking the sorority you got a bid from this year to any sister who will listen. You've dug yourself a very deep hole here.