Yet to be Themed Re-recruitment Story

[KC_96]

Well, I’m back! To those who read my previous recruitment story, hi! To those who have not, hi, you might want to read this before you read my new recruitment story! http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=144230
So after months of thinking, I’ve made my decision to give Fall recruitment one last shot. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. Going through recruitment is hard. Having a recruitment not go as you wanted is hard. Having to go through the rollercoaster again is going to be hard.
While my recruitment isn’t for a short while (it’s sometime this month…), I figured I’d hold my place and update y'all on my life and how I’m approaching recruitment this go around. I’m not going to “live update” per say, but I wanted to get some reactions to my mindset before everything begins and maybe as its going. Until I can post my full story, I will NOT be naming names, even the coded names I used last time. I’m unsure if I want to rename all of the chapters yet, or use the preexisting names when I post my full story, but for the sake of anonymity pre-recruitment and during recruitment, I will not be stating code names of chapters in case someone stumbles upon this rambling. I PROMISE I will not leave you all hanging. Feel free to PM me if you think I know where I go or if you have questions that I prefer not to answer publicly at this time.
All that said, here’s an update about me and my campus before we get started…
For people too lazy to read my old story, I’m from the north and I go to school in the south. I’m now a sophomore in college (crazy to think about!). Since I’ve been on campus, I’ve taken a leadership position in a club within my academic department, become a member of two other campus clubs, started working on campus in a pretty difficult position to get into, interned two different places (one near campus, one over the summer at home), and kept up my 4.0 GPA. I have no legacies and (despite what happened with my last recruitment attempt) I do not have any rec letters.
Going into recruitment this semester has been…awkward? I know someone in every chapter on campus, whether it be a group project team member, classmate, co-worker, or close friend. I’ve had some of my closer friends seemingly avoid me because I’m a PNM, I’ve had girls tell me they’re “so excited” that I’m going through recruitment and that they’ve “heard great things” about me, I’ve had one of my closest friends who is a recruitment counselor tell me that there are girls she wants in her house but she has no control over it and everything happens for a reason, and I’ve had another one of my friends tell me point blank to rush her chapter. I’m uncomfortable with it all. I know I over think everything, but right now I can’t tell if these people are playing me, if they’re setting me up for failure, if they’re just being nice, or if they actually want me in their house.
To complicate things even more my best friend is also rushing this semester. She rushed last year but was dropped by all of the chapters because of an outstanding campus violation that has since been cleared from her record. Am I worried that her previous history could effect my own? Yes, probably more than I should. We have both accepted that if we end up getting bids, we will most likely not be in the same house. I’m glad I have someone so close to me in a similar situation, but I’m also worried about our friendship getting in the way of recruitment.
So that’s where I’m at right now. I’m so excited for recruitment to start, but also terribly nervous! Wish me luck!!

[KerriMarie]

I just read your other recruitment thread. It sounds like you have had a great first year of college - great GPA, busy and involved on campus including leadership roles, etc. I guess I'm a little surprised that you do not have recs, even though it was pointed to as a possible reason that your last recruitment wasn't as successful as you would have liked?

[1964Alum]

I am also surprised that you have not lined up any recs for yourself. They ARE important, as some Nationals cannot offer a bid without a rec.

If there is still time, can you contact your local panhellenic or individual chapter alum organizations to hopefully meet up with alums and get recs?

I agree that it sounds like you had a great first year! Now you need the recs!

[Loyally Kappa]

Originally Posted by 1964Alum

I am also surprised that you have not lined up any recs for yourself. They ARE important, as some Nationals cannot offer a bid without a rec.

^^^THIS!!!^^^

CANNOT OFFER A BID WITHOUT A REC!!!

[LIXO]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ YOU NEED TO GET AT LEAST ONE REC FOR EVERY CHAPTER^^^^^^^

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Loyally Kappa

^^^THIS!!!^^^

CANNOT OFFER A BID WITHOUT A REC!!!

Originally Posted by LIXO

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ YOU NEED TO GET AT LEAST ONE REC FOR EVERY CHAPTER^^^^^^^

Please don't sabotage your chances again this year - get those recs!!

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by KC_96

I have no legacies and (despite what happened with my last recruitment attempt) I do not have any rec letters.

What was your thought process about not getting any recs? You know that recs could have been a serious issue in your last rush, yet you chose not to get any this time around?

[KC_96]

So in my past story, I was told by my then rho gamma that I should have recs. Prior to this year's rush, I talked to my current rho gamma, my rho gamma friend, our director of campus student involvement, and multiple girls in other chapters. I was told that at my school, recs are not looked at unless it is a legacy. Seeing as I am not a legacy, the recs are useless.
My rho gamma friend told me that my previous rho gamma likely made the excuse to make me feel better after having a rough recruitment week. Remember that my school is not huge, we have a fairly relaxed greek system.
I'm going into recruitment with the philosophy that whatever happens, happens. I'm not "going" for a certain chapter and I'm not going out of my way to suck up to my sorority friends before recruitment. The biggest difference between me this year and me last year is that I now have established ties on campus. Last year, my recruitment fell late and I avoided joining other campus activities because I wanted to dedicate time to a sorority. As a result, most people on my campus didn't recognize me and thought I wasn't involved because I was holding out for recruitment.
I'm not worried about not having recs, but I guess we'll know if they make a difference soon enough!

[DubaiSis]

They're either lying or you misinterpreted their responses. I know what MY sorority's policy is on recs and I have an assumption about a handful of other sororities (as in, if you're in the south and you don't have a rec, see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya). But they cannot say what any other sorority's private membership policies are.

You know people; presumably some of these women are now friends. Likely they can't write you a rec, but their mother, aunt, sister who graduated last year, etc. can. I would work your tail off to get recs, even a few, even at this late date.

I think you are intentionally sabotaging your rush. When it doesn't go well, you can blame not having recs.

[KerriMarie]

I wish you the best of luck!

[LIXO]

FACT - My sorority CANNOT offer a bid without a rec, even if they LOVE the potential new member. I do not believe my sorority is unique in this. It is possible the chapter can call around to your hometown during rush and try to find a rec for you if they want you bad enough.

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by LIXO

FACT - My sorority CANNOT offer a bid without a rec, even if they LOVE the potential new member. I do not believe my sorority is unique in this. It is possible the chapter can call around to your hometown during rush and try to find a rec for you if they want you bad enough.

But at a big SEC style rush, why would they bother? You may be awesome, but so are 1500 other girls. Move on to the ones who are great AND made it easy on them.

[1964Alum]

^^^ EXACTLY!!! Even where rush is less competitive, it is a very hectic time for actives and especially for the recruitment team. Counting on a group to get a rec for you "if they really want you" once rush starts is a very risky proposition. Don't count on it! Not at all!

[ChioLu]

If you have almost a month before Recruitment, PLEASE try and get recommendations.
Even though your school in the South is not SEC, it's still the South.

Here's an example in the post-collegiate world: You know an employee at a company that you're interviewing with and really want to be hired. But you don't even ask the current employee to talk to the Hiring Manager about you.

Last year, did you have a good resume and grades?
This year, sounds like you have a great GPA and activities?
Did you improve anything else from last year? Because, if you didn't, what is missing from this picture???
Could it be ... recommendations?

Are you sure you roll the dice on having NO recs a 2nd time?

[amIblue?]

Rec policies vary from sorority to sorority and from campus to campus, but I would never advise any PNM to attempt to go through recruitment in the south without recs. Especially if one is going through a second time. To be blunt, your rho gamma gave you really shitty feedback.

To answer your concerns about the positive feedback you're getting, I would think that you should consider it as being sincere. However, bear in mind that some chapters have a once cut always cut policy, and the people you are talking to now may not have been on the sister side of recruitment yet and may not be privy to what happened last year. Moreover, a handful of women in a chapter may or may not be enough to get you invited back.