Bridesmaids- Who pays for hair?

TennisFan186 · #1 02-13-2013, 06:24 PM

Hello there!

My younger sister is getting married (yay!), and she has some questions about who pays for what. Unfortunately i don't have any experience with this and we aren't close with our mother. All of the bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses, but who pays for the hair? She wants all of the bridesmaids to have their hair done at the salon. I personally think that *if* she wants it done professionally at a specific salon, she should at least offer to pay half of it, as they don't have the option of doing it themselves or going to somewhere that might be less costly. I'm not a bridesmaid (which I am perfectly ok with!), so it doesn't really affect me, but I do feel for the bridesmaids!

DreamfulSpirit · #2 02-13-2013, 06:29 PM

My girls paid for their own hair. Personally I just couldn't afford to pay for it. I did make appointments for everyone at the same salon so we could be together, but told my girls that if they wanted to go elsewhere, they could, but it was up to them to call and cancel the appointment I had made for everyone.

In other weddings I've been in, I also paid for my own hair.

TennisFan186 · #3 02-13-2013, 06:33 PM

That seems fair to me, as you did allow them to go somewhere else! One of the girls said that there is $35 price difference between her regular salon and the one my sister wants, but she is adamant that they all go together. This is why I think she should offer, she isn't giving them another option. But I could be entirely wrong!

adpiucf · #4 02-13-2013, 06:36 PM

It really depends on your sister. I've been in weddings where the bride required a hairdo and we paid for ourselves, and I've been in others where the bride paid.

I always say there's no right or wrong way to have a wedding, just many, many ways to piss off your guests. (That includes attendants.)

ETA: You don't have a dog in this fight, since you aren't an attendant and therefore unaffected. Stay out of it and keep your sanity. The maids should talk to the bride.

TennisFan186 · #5 02-13-2013, 06:39 PM

The bridesmaids have come to me to try and talk to her

Would it be fair if I gently suggested that she look at a few different salons to see if anyone can do it for less than $100 per bridesmaid?

Kappamd · #6 02-13-2013, 06:39 PM

I am paying for my bridesmaids' and the moms' hair. We are staying at the resort our wedding is at after our rehearsal dinner the night before, so I am paying for a team to come out to do everyone's hair in the morning. Plus, there aren't a whole lot of salons in the area I would trust to do wedding styles. The services come as a package, so it was easier for me to just pay for it. They paid for their [expensive] dresses, and shoes, some of them have to travel from far, etc. I figured it was the least I could do.

Kappamd · #7 02-13-2013, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TennisFan186

The bridesmaids have come to me to try and talk to her

Would it be fair if I gently suggested that she look at a few different salons to see if anyone can do it for less than $100 per bridesmaid?

Does $100 for a bridesmaids' hair seem steep to anyone else? I know the salon I go to typically doesn't charge that much (for a bride, yes) and it's a pretty upscale salon.

joliebelle · #8 02-13-2013, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kappamd

Does $100 for a bridesmaids' hair seem steep to anyone else? I know the salon I go to typically doesn't charge that much (for a bride, yes) and it's a pretty upscale salon.

That seems really steep, even in my area. My salon charges 100 for a bride and 65 for bridesmaids. OP, where do you live?

adpiucf · #9 02-13-2013, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TennisFan186

The bridesmaids have come to me to try and talk to her

Would it be fair if I gently suggested that she look at a few different salons to see if anyone can do it for less than $100 per bridesmaid?

No. Tell them to put on their big girl panties and ask her themselves. They agreed to be bridesmaids, and part of that is dressing like little clones for the bride. It's part of the costs. The Maid of Honor or any bridesmaid should approach the bride.

Look, they can all get together as a group and tell her, "Look, we can't afford this. So either we go to a different salon or you pay the difference/pay all, Bride, or we're just doing our own hair and you have to deal with it."

You should not be involved. MYOB for your own sanity's sake. Brides are crazy. Don't get involved in unnecessary drama. All that will happen is that she will get pissed at you, bridesmaid stay silent and agree with her that you're a terrible person. There is nothing to be gained. This is the bridesmaids' problem.

If you aren't close enough to your own sister to be in her wedding, seriously, she doesn't want your opinion.

TennisFan186 · #10 02-13-2013, 06:52 PM

I don't live there anymore, but Boston. She has a taste for the expensive!

ColdInCanada11 · #11 02-13-2013, 07:01 PM

$100? Yikes.

ADPi95 · #12 02-13-2013, 07:28 PM

Wow.

As many of the other posters already advised, there are no set rules for something like this, but it's an awful lot to ask of bridesmaids to pitch in and extra $100 for what is most likely a ton of hairspray and bobby pins. I have a feeling (based on what you said) that they've already shelled out quite a bit for a dress/shoes if your sister has 'expensive' taste.

I'm with adpiufc... I'd put the ball back in the bridesmaids court to tell you sister if she would reconsider other options.

On that note, I paid for my bridal party to have their hair done, but I only had two attendants and I hired a stylist to come to the resort.

madoug · #13 02-13-2013, 07:34 PM

Quote:

If you aren't close enough to your own sister to be in her wedding, seriously, she doesn't want your opinion

I follow your logic, but sister, this is a bit harsh. My sister that is ten years older was not in my wedding (nor I hers since I was 12 at the time). That does not mean I would not appreciate her concerns. BTW my sister just two years older was my MOH.

AGDee · #14 02-13-2013, 07:39 PM

I think $100 is awfully high. The bridesmaids should get quotes themselves and present them to the bride, suggesting a different salon or requesting that the bride cover the difference in the price.

Personally, I look awful in an updo and tend to think that women know their best look. I'd rather have them do what they want with their hair. But I'm pretty low maintenance.

TennisFan186 · #15 02-13-2013, 07:40 PM

Unfortunately both sides have come to me asking for help. I will just suggest that they take some time to calm down, and then grab a coffee or something and just lay out what they are feeling. Weddings always seem to get people very worked up.

For what it's worth, she did ask if I wanted to be a bridesmaid, but I am doing my phd on the west coast and we decided together I would do a reading at the wedding instead because I would not be able to help out too much.