Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

[christiangirl]

^^^I love getting IDed at places because I look 16. It's like "HAHA, FOOLED YOU!!!"

Originally Posted by XOMichelle

My divorced parents are starting to ask me if they think my 25 year-old sister is going to marry her boyfriend of 3 years. They independently ask my sister if she thinks I will marry my boyfriend of 2 (I'm 28). They don't ask us directly, they ask the other sister. It's a riot!

My family was so worried about the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend (or seem interested in boys at all) that, starting at age 15, my dad and sister took turns asking me if I was a lesbian. Once I started actively trying to date (midway through college), they stopped asking but the fact that they went there in the first place made me so....ugh, I don't even have words. What is the big friggin' deal about being single, even for long periods of time? I'm not a "dater," what can I say? My relatives now ask at EVERY get-together why I'm not dating someone and when am I gonna "get on it." My new answer for the holiday season: I have better things to do than a guy.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

My family was so worried about the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend (or seem interested in boys at all) that, starting at age 15, my dad and sister took turns asking me if I was a lesbian. Once I started actively trying to date (midway through college), they stopped asking but the fact that they went there in the first place made me so....ugh, I don't even have words. What is the big friggin' deal about being single, even for long periods of time? I'm not a "dater," what can I say? My relatives now ask at EVERY get-together why I'm not dating someone and when am I gonna "get on it." My new answer for the holiday season: I have better things to do than a guy.

My aunt asked me the same thing after I told her my younger cousin was a lesbian. She flat out told me, "Ok, so we have one lesbian, when are you going to come out?" and then laughed. Seriously? I don't date, i'm not a big dater. My mom is really judgemental and so I just rather stay away from dating than hearing any of her lip. Why is it if someone isn't dating, it's cause they're gay?

When family would ask (especially the ones i haven't seen in a while) I would say that I was focusing on school. Recently, one of my bitchy relatives goes "well you've graduated from college, what's your excuse now?"

[WVU alpha phi]

I've been with my boyfriend five months and my parents met him about a month ago when they came to visit and help me move. They both loved him, thought he was so polite, southern gentleman, etc. (which he is and I love it). So my mom asked if I thought he was "the one" and I just laughed and said I don't know! At this age (23), I don't think I'd date someone if I didn't see a future with them, but I also realize that we're still in the "honeymoon" phase of dating and to be thinking marriage this early on is ridiculous.

I was on the phone with my sister about a month ago helping her with Spanish homework and I had her on speaker, with my boyfriend sitting next to me. She asked about me coming home for Christmas and if he was coming (no), then said "do you think you'll get a ring for Christmas?" and I said "NO! We've only been dating 4 months!" BF looked bewildered and said "try more like 4 years from now!"

My sister is 27 and has NEVER had a boyfriend (there are several factors to this). My family completely leaves her alone on the marriage subject, or even dating subject. I've had boyfriends since HS and marriage has come up several times.

I was dating someone when I was 18, I'd consider him my first love. We dated about 9 months and broke up for several reasons, but mainly we went to school 8 hours apart and he was pretty possessive. Post breakup, my mom told me my grandmother asked her if she thought then-bf was "the one" and my mom laughed and said I was only 18. My grandmother then told her she'd never seen me so happy before. (that comment haunts me to this day!)

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by epchick

My aunt asked me the same thing after I told her my younger cousin was a lesbian. She flat out told me, "Ok, so we have one lesbian, when are you going to come out?" and then laughed. Seriously? I don't date, i'm not a big dater. My mom is really judgemental and so I just rather stay away from dating than hearing any of her lip. Why is it if someone isn't dating, it's cause they're gay?

We should trade places. My mother is in denial about me being gay, she just think that I haven't found the right guy yet or am not interested in dating. I haven't been with a guy since 2002, and was never boy-crazy. I'm just shocked that this has not aroused ANY suspicion from her or anyone else in my family.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

We should trade places. My mother is in denial about me being gay, she just think that I haven't found the right guy yet or am not interested in dating. I haven't been with a guy since 2002, and was never boy-crazy. I'm just shocked that this has not aroused ANY suspicion from her or anyone else in my family.

Maybe they're suspicious but, unlike our families, they're too tactful to let on. :shrug:


I've never been overly girly, so that must've been part of it. I was never (and still am not) into makeup and dresses and purses and I swear high heels are Satan's invention. I just didn't care about impressing boys. They were stupid and farted for applause. I especially can't get over the fact that I was 15--I wasn't even allowed to date till I was 16, so what was the big deal? *sigh* Parents just don't understand.*starts doing the running man to the song in my head*

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Maybe they're suspicious but, unlike our families, they're too tactful to let on. :shrug:

I've never been overly girly, so that must've been part of it. I was never (and still am not) into makeup and dresses and purses and I swear high heels are Satan's invention. I just didn't care about impressing boys. They were stupid and farted for applause. I especially can't get over the fact that I was 15--I wasn't even allowed to date till I was 16, so what was the big deal? *sigh* Parents just don't understand.*starts doing the running man to the song in my head*

You really are my long lost twin! Its official now. *Joins in doing the running man*.

I am NOT a girly girl. Im so far from it it's a shame. I have a B/F currently (of 2 years).
The lesbian question never came up because it was kind of obvious that I like men, but I just didnt date any of them.
When My B/f's family or my family and friends ask when the wedding is I tell them to speak with the b/f because I have specified the conditions under which I will marry said B/F and until he meets them I will not be jumping anyone's broom.
I also frequently tell people that they've lost their minds if they think Im going to shoot myself in the foot and not be able to take a drink (legally) before, during, and afterward.

ETA: When I talk to my b/f's dad (who is really religious) and he asks me the M question I always want to say:
Him: When are yall gonna get married?
Me: When Jesus returns to officiate, cuz you know he my homie. Plus then I aint gotta buy no wine. That reminds me, I gotta ask if he could turn mines into Vodka instead cuz I dont like wine like that.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I didn't have a boyfriend (or seem interested in boys at all) that, starting at age 15, my dad and sister took turns asking me if I was a lesbian. Once I started actively trying to date (midway through college), they stopped asking but the fact that they went there in the first place made me so....ugh, I don't even have words. What is the big friggin' deal about being single, even for long periods of time? I'm not a "dater," what can I say? My relatives now ask at EVERY get-together why I'm not dating someone and when am I gonna "get on it." My new answer for the holiday season: I have better things to do than a guy.

When I was single, I doubt anyone questioned my preferences. I think it was because I did have plenty of dates--most of them frog princes I was kissing who had CapitalOne rules... LOL...

I wanted to be in a stable relationship with someone who I loved and who loved me in return. But, later in single life, I found out you have different kinds of dates... I had my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday (a lot of those), Saturday (plenty of those) and Sunday (a few of those) dates. Then I had a entire dry season for a year... That was very difficult for me--especially when I was down for "routine maintenance" early in the morning from Wednesday to Thursday... LOL...

Usually, when loving family members or elders would ask me if I was dating when I was single, I would say "no, but do you know of anyone?" Then I asked "if he was cute and has money?" That usually stopped the questions...

And I got everyone pissed of with me when I eloped and got married to a gentleman very few people knew... It's been 5.5 years now...

[epchick]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

We should trade places. My mother is in denial about me being gay, she just think that I haven't found the right guy yet or am not interested in dating. I haven't been with a guy since 2002, and was never boy-crazy. I'm just shocked that this has not aroused ANY suspicion from her or anyone else in my family.

Ha...we should! My mom has never really asked or seemed to care whether I was dating someone or not. I think she secretly hopes I hold off on dating, so I don't end up being like her---dating a guy right @ the end of college and getting pregnant.

She seems to be kind of judgmental about the people I date, But when she found out my cousin was gay, she embraced her (at this point, my cousin's mom is the only one that doesn't know), no judgements at all. Hmmm...i think i got the short end of the stick! lol

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by epchick

My aunt asked me the same thing after I told her my younger cousin was a lesbian. She flat out told me, "Ok, so we have one lesbian, when are you going to come out?" and then laughed. Seriously? I don't date, i'm not a big dater. My mom is really judgemental and so I just rather stay away from dating than hearing any of her lip. Why is it if someone isn't dating, it's cause they're gay?

When family would ask (especially the ones i haven't seen in a while) I would say that I was focusing on school. Recently, one of my bitchy relatives goes "well you've graduated from college, what's your excuse now?"

That's when you pull a Katherine Heigl from 27 Dresses and say something to the effect of, "I really like having random sex with strangers, so getting married just isn't on the table right now, but thanks for asking."

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

LOL. People are so ridiculous.

I went to a student org meeting a few weeks ago (both grad and undergrad students). As we were introducing ourselves, one of the girls introduces herself and tells us a little about who she is.

She says, "I'm Becky, and I'm 19 yrs old, I just got married on Saturday."

Of course the girls in the room were all "awww" and someone asked her where they went for their honeymoon. Her response, "Oh we didn't get to have a honeymoon because he had to be back here for his Intro to Psych exam on Monday morning."

We were talking a little later and she asked me how old I was and I said "oh I'll be 24 this month" and she says "wow, I can't imagine being that old."

I have never felt so old in my life.

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

The intro to Psych made my boyfriend LOL. He also says "they're totally getting divorced."

I forgot the best part of the story, 19 year old bride and hubby are DORM roommates on campus.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I forgot the best part of the story, 19 year old bride and hubby are DORM roommates on campus.

It's like Cory and Topanga, but with no hope for a future.

[Kappamd]

Slight Hijack

This thread makes me think of that Beyonce song everytime I see it.

End of Hijack

[christiangirl]

^^^That works vice versa. That song played at my school's dance a couple days ago and this thread was the first thing I thought about as I made my way to the dance floor!

[LucyKKG]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

^^^That works vice versa. That song played at my school's dance a couple days ago and this thread was the first thing I thought about as I made my way to the dance floor!

I love it when I think of GC in my real life and I chuckle about it, but I can't tell someone else why I'm laughing. They just don't get it.

[cali_gossip]

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

That's when you pull a Katherine Heigl from 27 Dresses and say something to the effect of, "I really like having random sex with strangers, so getting married just isn't on the table right now, but thanks for asking."

LOL awesome! I wish I could try that family. They're the kind that gasp whenever the word "sex" gets metioned. I can only imagine the priceless reactions I'd get!