Things you want to say (but shouldn't) outloud at work

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AOX81

"Mr. ****, what you just said is one of the most insanely, idiotic things that I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that can be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."

Is that Dogma?

[AlphaFrog]

Is it rude to tell your boss that's she's a complete nutjob?

[OrchidAlum]

Speakerphone is not acceptable when you work in a cube farm!

[DolphinChicaDDD]

The reason you are failing is not because the I hate you. Its because you are a dumbass who never comes to class, studies, or does homework. Stop blaming your failure on everyone else. Grow up and take some responsibility.

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

Person 1: You apparently must've fallen asleep that day in kindergarten when they taught about using indoor voices. If you want to chit-chat with the person in the cubicle across the aisle, please walk over to her cubicle instead of shouting across the aisle. Thanks to your loudness, I now know your opinions about the latest pop songs and celebrity gossip, the lame jokes your friend forwarded to you (note: they are not laugh-out-loud funny despite your actual laughing out loud), and your latest baby-daddy drama.

Person 2: You are a moron. That is all.

[litAKAtor]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up.

Now THAT was funny!!!

[NinjaPoodle]

Have you ever heard of Scope?

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by SOPi_Jawbreaker

Person 1: You apparently must've fallen asleep that day in kindergarten when they taught about using indoor voices.

Hee hee...indoor voices, kindergarten...

[BetteDavisEyes]

Your precious little child is really a mean-spirited pain in the ass that needs a good ass-kicking.

[Cardinal026]

I realize that I'm younger than your children, and the children of the other 5 people on our team. So don't you think its funny that you "adults" are the ones that can't ever make deadlines, show up for meetings, or respond to e-mails? Its more than a little frustrating!

[GeekyPenguin]

Yes I do have my own office because my boss brought me FIVE SUITCASES of work. Am I supposed to roll five suitcases of litigation, some of which are SEALED, to whatever room you work in just so you feel special?

[AOX81]

In response to an e-mail I received last Thursday... F*CK YOU!!!

As you are aware you will be receiving your profit share this week in your checks, it will add up to about 7.5 days.

Unfortunately.. there is no year end component profit bonus to be added to your checks, as we did not hit our year end legal entity profit, as was mentioned in our last meeting. As you are aware we must at least hit the year end legal entity to get anything on that item.

The miss on this part was certainly not due to any lack of effort on your part, it was merely an issue of higher than expected fleet costs and lower revenues versus the business plan. as we discussed as the year went on. We just could not overcome it.

I again thank you for all your hard work and dedication in 2006 and let's work towards better results in 2007.

We are already off to a much better start than 2006.

If you have any questions on the 2006 IC, please let me know.

thanks

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Is that Dogma?

Nope, Billy Madison!

[LaneSig]

Oh, my God. You are an idiot.

[ZTAngel]

You suck and everyone in this office hates you. For starters, you think you're eveyone's boss when you're just a secretary with a glorified title. Quit whining when things don't go your way and apologize when you're wrong. While you think it's hot to be a six-foot tall woman, everyone in this office talks behind your back saying you look like a man. And not even an attractive man.