What do you feel like saying, right now?

[Zach]

Originally Posted by AGDee

There is so much more to this story. Her husband of 22 years had passed away 3 months prior to them meeting. Within 3 months they were living together and 6 months later they got married. She pushed really hard for marriage. He didn’t want to get married. However, his girlfriend before this also pushed hard for marriage and he said no way. She cheated on him and they broke up. He thought, this time, that he should probably just do it so the same thing didn’t happen again.

My theory is that she was still pretty numb from grieving, was relieved to have someone fill the void she was feeling from her previous marriage and didn’t have the energy to act crazy because she was still grieving. He has talked with her daughter, kind of carefully, to find out if the rages always happened and the daughter said something like “she can be easily excitable”. Example- the daughter came to the house to help him clean every corner, nook and cranny before she came home so she didn’t go into a tirade.

I am there to listen to him but just encourage counseling. I also do NOT want him to leave her for me. They need to resolve their stuff, then we can figure out ours, if it comes to that. I won’t be the catalyst in this.

It's absolutely abuse. She has thrown up stuff in his face during fights that he told her about his childhood-really vulnerable stuff. Your partner should never be using your vulnerable moments as weapons in a fight.

Joke’s on him then. He married a woman he didn’t know.

Times have changed. But it doesn’t seem like he gets that. This is just in general to married couples who want out, but are trying to repair the unrepairable. If you do not plan to keep the marriage promise of “for better or worse,” then don’t get married. And if you have already made that promise but you are experiencing extenuating circumstances, know that divorce is a way out. Don’t keep sticking with it and holding on to a relationship if you have tried everything to make it work and it’s not working. The best thing to do is to exit the relationship. It now seems to be “for better or divorce,” not “for better or worse.”

In your next phone conversation with the dude in Atlanta, you should tell him that.

I was married twice. Two worst mistakes I ever made. But the way I looked at it is divorce is not a time to wallow in self-pity or hatred. I felt that getting divorced for the final time was a time for me to look at my life and change for the better. I asked myself to ponder what went wrong and what caused the divorce. Both. Rather than feeling sad and lonely forever like most people do, I actually made the best of the situation.

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

I did, and that was a mistake I’ll never make again. Single life is better.

I think it was the best decision you ever made. Now you got a little dose of non-married, married life. Sucked, didn’t it? She took you through some things. The truth is that there is no happily ever after anywhere. In short, there is no “prince charming” or “perfect princess” that would give couples the perfect life they think they deserve. The best way to have the happy life you deserve is to build one yourself.

The only time “Prince Charming” and the “Perfect Princess” exist is at the wedding and reception, which is what a lot women love and plan their lives around. But after all the dancing, folks hitting their champagne glasses to see a kiss, DJ playing the first dance song, after all that playtime is over, after about a year or so, shit hits the fan, and the nagging starts from her, he starts sitting on the couch with his hand in his pants like Al Bundy, then somebody asks for divorce, more likely she’s the one that initiates that.

Hit me up if you ever decide to marry so I can talk you out of it, Phrozen Sands. It’s not worth it. The sex gets old too.

[Zach]

https://youtube.com/shorts/1UU46cpz2...8lFg20S19Y8-Qe

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I've learned a lot about him over the past 5-6 months. I've gotten to know him better than I ever did before. I do believe he'll take action if things don't change now that she's back. I never realized before how much he needs to feel connected. To the point that sometimes he'd just call and we'd both be cooking dinner, barely talking, but "connected". We started binge watching shows where we'd start the show at the same time and watch it together.

I honestly learned about myself too- and how much I enjoyed that connection. I hadn't felt that in years and years. I'm really missing it right now.

In seeing how important connection is to him, I let him know, the night before she came home, when neither of us wanted to hang up the phone, that as long as I'm alive, he'd never be alone. I think he needed to know that. I knew I needed to say it. I told him that I love him "not in the butterflies and rainbows way, but in to the core" and that I fel like I was losing my best friend. He said "Absolutely the same, but 10x more". That doesn't change anything though.

The past week has been incredibly hard. I feel like I lost my best friend. But, again, hope is not a strategy and I can't sit around waiting to live my life until there's action there. We spent time talking over the months about what a life together would look like. I would love for that to happen, but don't know that it will. My only option now is to keep living my life.

Does his wife know about his connection to you?

Originally Posted by Zach

https://youtube.com/shorts/1UU46cpz2...8lFg20S19Y8-Qe

That brother in that video is pissed! 😂😂😂 smh.

Zach, because yours didn’t work out, why would you want to discourage Phroze?

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by Zach

Hit me up if you ever decide to marry so I can talk you out of it, Phrozen Sands. It’s not worth it. The sex gets old too.

You won’t need to talk me out of something that will never happen, because I’ll never do it. Sex never gets old to me though. I could do that all day and every day Lol.

Originally Posted by Zach

https://youtube.com/shorts/1UU46cpz2...8lFg20S19Y8-Qe

Told no lies though bro.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Zach, because yours didn’t work out, why would you want to discourage Phroze?

How can he discourage something that isn’t on my radar? I know that most chicks are a horrible investment so it’ll never happen.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Does his wife know about his connection to you?

She does not know I exist.

Editing to add: Nobody either of us has dated since 2000 has know about our connection or the existance of each other.

[cheerfulgreek]

WIFLSRN: I am so sleepy. Stayed up like super late last night watching Netflix. When I left the house this morning for my morning friends/coffee meetup, I went right back inside to get my jacket, and when I got in the car, I had to turn on the heat… In August. Minnesota is just an igloo. I swear, I want to go back to bed.

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

WIFLSRN: I am so sleepy. Stayed up like super late last night watching Netflix. When I left the house this morning for my morning friends/coffee meetup, I went right back inside to get my jacket, and when I got in the car, I had to turn on the heat… In August. Minnesota is just an igloo. I swear, I want to go back to bed.

And yet most days, on a televised national weather map, Minneapolis lists a higher daily temperature reading than Chicago. Must have something to do with that Lake Michigan cooling effect.

BTW CG, I love your newest signature line.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by AGDee

She does not know I exist.

Editing to add: Nobody either of us has dated since 2000 has know about our connection or the existance of each other.

I think you’re his therapy and he’s your therapy. I think y’all would probably drive each other crazy if you had to live together though.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

WIFLSRN: I am so sleepy. Stayed up like super late last night watching Netflix. When I left the house this morning for my morning friends/coffee meetup, I went right back inside to get my jacket, and when I got in the car, I had to turn on the heat… In August. Minnesota is just an igloo. I swear, I want to go back to bed.

Why get up that early on a Saturday morning when you don’t have to? Or why don’t y’all meet later in the day so you can sleep in?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Cheerio

And yet most days, on a televised national weather map, Minneapolis lists a higher daily temperature reading than Chicago. Must have something to do with that Lake Michigan cooling effect.

BTW CG, I love your newest signature line.

Last week it was like crazy hot. But this week it’s been cool enough to wear a jacket in the morning.

Thanks, Cheerio. I sure do hope it comes true.

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Why get up that early on a Saturday morning when you don’t have to? Or why don’t y’all meet later in the day so you can sleep in?

I usually take a nap when I come back home anyway. I just like meeting early so I can have family time and some “me time” the rest of the day.

[cheerfulgreek]

WIFLSRN: Daisy was being very mean to her friend today. So, my neighbors dog Chance likes to come over and play with Daisy. He’s such a sweet dog. He’s a rescue. Sometimes Daisy enjoys his company, but most of the time she doesn’t like to be bothered with him. I took the cutest picture of them today. Clearly, Daisy did NOT want to be bothered with him. She was a meanie today.

So, when my neighbors let Chance out, he comes to our front door and barks to let him in. We let him in and then I text his family to tell them where Chance is. They generally know, because this is a regular thing with him, but I still call. He spent a few hours at our house today. I’m sure Daisy was glad when he left, lol.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

WIFLSRN: Daisy was being very mean to her friend today. So, my neighbors dog Chance likes to come over and play with Daisy. He’s such a sweet dog. He’s a rescue. Sometimes Daisy enjoys his company, but most of the time she doesn’t like to be bothered with him. I took the cutest picture of them today. Clearly, Daisy did NOT want to be bothered with him. She was a meanie today.

So, when my neighbors let Chance out, he comes to our front door and barks to let him in. We let him in and then I text his family to tell them where Chance is. They generally know, because this is a regular thing with him, but I still call. He spent a few hours at our house today. I’m sure Daisy was glad when he left, lol.

I’m assuming they’ve both been fixed. Post the pic so I can Lmao. Who would name their dog, “Chance”? Lol!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

I’m assuming they’ve both been fixed. Post the pic so I can Lmao. Who would name their dog, “Chance”? Lol!

Yep. Your assumption is correct. I’ll try, but it’s not going to stay posted. So, she knows his name. When I go.. “Daisy, do you want to see Chance today? He wants to come in to see you.” I have a picture of her when she heard me say “Chance”. It’s HILARIOUS! She gets so annoyed with Chance, lol. He likes her so much.

[cheerfulgreek]

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Yep. Your assumption is correct. I’ll try, but it’s not going to stay posted. So, she knows his name. When I go.. “Daisy, do you want to see Chance today? He wants to come in to see you.” I have a picture of her when she heard me say “Chance”. It’s HILARIOUS! She gets so annoyed with Chance, lol. He likes her so much.

Looks like these photos stayed. She looks disappointed as hell Lol! He looks happy to pose for the picture. Too funny.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Looks like these photos stayed. She looks disappointed as hell Lol! He looks happy to pose for the picture. Too funny.

Yay! They’ll probably disappear later, but I’m glad they did stay long enough for you to see her expression, lol. The top picture, she wasn’t like that at first. As soon as I said “Chance”… telling her that Chance is upstairs, she got low and looked at me like… “Ugh.. Chance!” So I had to take that pic, lol. I brought her upstairs and as soon as Chance saw her, he immediately wanted to play. She just sat there, annoyed, lol.

She’s older than him, so she doesn’t like to play with him as much. But sometimes she will. Isn’t Chance cute?!