What Not to Say to a Released PNM - Page 8

Cheerio · #1 10-04-2020, 05:15 PM

One thing to NOT say is, "So, when will you be allowed to go thru rush again?".

Long stories about how you or other women got over the same event and did just fine may NOT help, unless you are asked to specifically provide such examples.

erica812 · #2 10-08-2020, 01:23 PM

When I was dropped as a freshman, my Rho Chi said, "Oh my goodness!! This never happens!!" Well...that made me feel just great.

Yeah...don't say that.

(I am happy to report that I recovered well and got involved in many wonderful campus experiences.)

KSUViolet06 · #3 10-13-2020, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erica812

When I was dropped as a freshman, my Rho Chi said, "Oh my goodness!! This never happens!!" Well...that made me feel just great.

Yeah...don't say that.

(I am happy to report that I recovered well and got involved in many wonderful campus experiences.)

So way back when I was in undergrad, I said that to a hallmate! As an adult I cringe because THAT COMMENT WAS SUPER UNHELPFUL.

AnchorAlumna · #4 10-14-2020, 03:05 PM

Some PNMs are so fabulous that I think they get dropped because everybody thought their sorority would never have a chance with her.

FSUZeta · #5 10-14-2020, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Some PNMs are so fabulous that I think they get dropped because everybody thought their sorority would never have a chance with her.

YES!

KSUViolet06 · #6 10-20-2020, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Some PNMs are so fabulous that I think they get dropped because everybody thought their sorority would never have a chance with her.

This too.

A lot of "She is not going to return here, her sister is DG." Or "Her mom is AZD, she's probably not interested in us."

I always try to remind collegians that connections are not always an indicator of interest. You never know how connected that PNM is to a sorority.

Ex: Yeah she may have an AZD aunt who wrote her a rec but sometimes it's just a courtesy and that PNM has no preference for AZD above any other chapter. Or an Alpha Chi Omega . grandma but they really just found out and it has no prevalence in the PNM's life.

That's different from say, a PNM whose mother is a former DZ chapter advisor and who grew up at sorority events. Different connection levels.

Many times, PNMs ARE legit trying to be open-minded because knowing someone is a XXXXX alumna on paper has no bearing on their decisions.

JonInKC · #7 03-27-2021, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Some PNMs are so fabulous that I think they get dropped because everybody thought their sorority would never have a chance with her.

You mean like how some women will preemptively drop men because they figure they're too good to be true?

Cookiez17 · #8 04-12-2021, 01:34 PM

Mine would be "I didn't see you as a sorority girl anyway." The PNM clearly wanted to join greek life and saying that because, say, she might not have non traditional interests and such can really kill confidence and can even cause the PNM to question her own hobbies.

carnation · #9 06-30-2022, 06:29 PM

bumping for fall 2022--

IrishLake · #10 08-22-2022, 03:21 PM

Hello all!!! It’s been ages since I’ve been here. Had a question on current recruitment practices, post-Covid.

Has anything within RFM had a major change in the last few years? Daughter of a coworker going through a competitive recruitment right now. She was completely released before preference round. Mom is losing her mind over it. Daughter told mom that she was told that as long as she maximizes her options each round, and lists all of the chapters she was invited to, she would make it through to preference. I told her (kindly, gently) that is not how it works and that only applies for preference round. If she’s invited to 2 pref parties and she lists them both, she will receive a bid from one of them. But if she’s released before preference, then her only option for now is to put her name on a list with the campus Panhell in the hopes of COB. Am I wrong?

carnation · #11 08-22-2022, 05:02 PM

You're right!

thetalady · #12 08-22-2022, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Hello all!!! It’s been ages since I’ve been here. Had a question on current recruitment practices, post-Covid.

Has anything within RFM had a major change in the last few years? Daughter of a coworker going through a competitive recruitment right now. She was completely released before preference round. Mom is losing her mind over it. Daughter told mom that she was told that as long as she maximizes her options each round, and lists all of the chapters she was invited to, she would make it through to preference. I told her (kindly, gently) that is not how it works and that only applies for preference round. If she’s invited to 2 pref parties and she lists them both, she will receive a bid from one of them. But if she’s released before preference, then her only option for now is to put her name on a list with the campus Panhell in the hopes of COB. Am I wrong?

There are very VERY few campuses where every PNM that goes through rush is guaranteed a spot by the University. How they can guarantee that, I do not know.

Sounds like this girl is not on one of those campuses and that she simply misunderstood what she was told by the rush counselor. Girls can be dropped by all chapters prior to Pref at most schools. Remember that she is also eligible for a snap bid after bid lists are made, if there are chapters who do not reach quota.....