Real World--Austin - Page 8

GoneGreek · #**106** 08-15-2005, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DSTCHAOS
Let me ask this:

When you type "disaffiliate" what do you mean?

When I type "disaffiliate" or "disassociate," I am talking about people who do not want to be a Delta anymore. That surpasses financial, health, and personal issues. I am not simply talking about someone who is inactive or nonfinancial for a period of time.

I'm talking about both actually.

I know of several situations where women have been faced with tough decisions about continuing their membership. For example, on some campuses with large physical houses, the sororities require members to live-in so they can pay-off their mortgages.

I've known of several instances where the chapters told people "live in, or else you're totally out" because they wanted to force someone into helping pay for the mortgage. For example, I had a friend whose father died during her junior year, her family lost their business, and she had to commute from home in order to afford school. But her sorority was having problems filling all the beds because they were below total -- so they told her to turn in her badge. It was a nasty thing to do, but it wasn't an isolated incident. It happens more often then people realize.

So technically, she was forced to "disassociate", but it really wasn't a choice.

If her chapter had gone to her home, gone through her drawers, and pulled out her sorority items, that would have been pouring salt in her wounds. That's nasty, and unsisterly.

starang21 · #**107** 08-15-2005, 05:23 PM

hot damn

Lindz928 · #**108** 08-15-2005, 05:24 PM

I think the word "ransack" is pretty harsh here. I completely understand what 33girl is saying. This is exactly what we did when someone disaffiliated.

And, I am talking about people who leave for problems other than something like money. In cases of someone not being able to afford to be a member, I think the only thing that they ask for is their pin, but I could be wrong in that.

I mainly think this is about situations where there may be tension between the member and the chapter (such as with my little) or someone just not wanting to be there anymore.

Then, I think it is completely reasonable for the chapter president and advisor to go to the girl's house (yes, while she is there) and ask that she return any sorority letters. This is generally done without any problems from the girl. Besides, I see this as being more of a quiet and private way of doing this. That way the she doesn't have to bring it all to the chapter house or anything.

When my little was asked to leave, I certainly wanted the chapter to get back things like her pin. Not because we all hated her, but just because she showed that she had no respect for our sorority.

DSTCHAOS · #**109** 08-15-2005, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by _Q_
Although I'd have no desire to continue wearing letters after disaffiliating, I'd have a big problem with former sisters entering my dorm room or apartment and going through my things. It's about privacy and boundaries, rather than a refusal to let go.

Then make sure you have gathered those things and returned them along with your disassociation paperwork.

Some things are really as simple as they seem.

33girl · #**110** 08-15-2005, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by _Q_
Although I'd have no desire to continue wearing letters after disaffiliating, I'd have a big problem with former sisters entering my dorm room or apartment and going through my things. It's about privacy and boundaries, rather than a refusal to let go.

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket!!

NO ONE GOES THROUGH ANYONE'S CLOSETS, DRESSERS, UNDER BED BOXES, ARMOIRES, CHIFFEROBES OR ANY OTHER CLOTHING STORING DEVICES.

Please quit being enraged at something that simply doesn't exist.

DSTCHAOS · #**111** 08-15-2005, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by starang21
hot damn

^^^ Doesn't own 'nalia. I wonder why.

DSTCHAOS · #**112** 08-15-2005, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
Oh for crying out loud in a bucket!!

NO ONE GOES THROUGH ANYONE'S CLOSETS, DRESSERS, UNDER BED BOXES, ARMOIRES, CHIFFEROBES OR ANY OTHER CLOTHING STORING DEVICES.

Please quit being enraged at something that simply doesn't exist.

You must've had a sip of the stuff I normally drink when I post on here.

I'm talking about Crystal Light, of course.

33girl · #**113** 08-15-2005, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoneGreek
I'm talking about both actually.

I know of several situations where women have been faced with tough decisions about continuing their membership. For example, on some campuses with large physical houses, the sororities require members to live-in so they can pay-off their mortgages.

I've known of several instances where the chapters told people "live in, or else you're totally out" because they wanted to force someone into helping pay for the mortgage. For example, I had a friend whose father died during her junior year, her family lost their business, and she had to commute from home in order to afford school. But her sorority was having problems filling all the beds because they were below total -- so they told her to turn in her badge. It was a nasty thing to do, but it wasn't an isolated incident. It happens more often then people realize.

So technically, she was forced to "disassociate", but it really wasn't a choice.

If her chapter had gone to her home, gone through her drawers, and pulled out her sorority items, that would have been pouring salt in her wounds. That's nasty, and unsisterly.

It wasn't a nasty thing to do. It was part of the "business" of being in a sorority. When she signed her pledge to her group, she promised to fulfill certain financial obligations. I'm betting she was also told that she had to live in at some point.

Did she try to explain her situation to the standards board and the treasurer? Did she attempt to set up a payment plan?

and again, NO ONE EVER MENTIONED GOING THROUGH DRAWERS EVER EVER ANYWHERE!!!

DSTCHAOS · #**114** 08-15-2005, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoneGreek
I'm talking about both actually.

Well, to avoid confusion, stick to what the rest of us are talking about.

GoneGreek · #**115** 08-15-2005, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl

And I'm sorry, but when someone got terminated from my chapter, we went to her dorm/apartment and removed her merchandise...if she was enough of a nut job to buy more off the internet or from the Greek store and wear it, we would have made sure everyone knew she was NOT a member. If this was my chapter and someone who got terminated was wearing my letters, I'd be screaming to MTV and posting on their boards 24/7 until they blurred the letters out.

You did use the words "WE" and "REMOVE" not "Ask For It Back". What are we supposed to think?

DSTCHAOS · #**116** 08-15-2005, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
It wasn't a nasty thing to do. It was part of the "business" of being in a sorority. When she signed her pledge to her group, she promised to fulfill certain financial obligations. I'm betting she was also told that she had to live in at some point.

Did she try to explain her situation to the standards board and the treasurer? Did she attempt to set up a payment plan?

and again, NO ONE EVER MENTIONED GOING THROUGH DRAWERS EVER EVER ANYWHERE!!!

Well, that is the difference between organizations and perhaps even between NPHC and non-NPHC.

If someone in the NPHC is a duly initiated member, their inability to meet financial obligations and so forth isn't enough to expel the person from the organization. The person can be inactive or nonfinancial, but they can always be reinstated or reclaimed while in college or upon graduation.

So, I presume I'm talking about something different than what you initially were as well.

33girl · #**117** 08-15-2005, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoneGreek
You did use the words "WE" and "REMOVE" not "Ask For It Back". What are we supposed to think?

You're supposed to read the post where I clarified what I meant about 6 posts above yours.

DSTCHAOS · #**118** 08-15-2005, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoneGreek
You did use the words "WE" and "REMOVE" not "Ask For It Back". What are we supposed to think?

Do you need a thesaurus?

Lindz928 · #**119** 08-15-2005, 05:37 PM

I knew what she meant, but maybe that is because I saw it happen in my chapter.

DSTCHAOS · #**120** 08-15-2005, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lindz928
I knew what she meant, but maybe that is because I saw it happen in my chapter.

Yep.

I know for a fact that some chapters do use force, but that's unfortunate and neither here nor there.