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06-13-2002, 04:27 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: THE HOME OF THE O.C.
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Hell Fire - Can we move on. I am not married as of yet. We are stilllllllll plannnnnning what is to be the grandest event in North Carolina.
professor singing - - - - we fall down, but we get up . . .
Hey you posted this thread, so don't think it won't come back up for some of us who missed this discussion
Like you are doing with your infidelity, deal with it.
QTE
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06-13-2002, 04:47 PM
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__________________
I am a woman, I make mistakes. I make them often. God has given me a talent and that's it. ~ Jill Scott
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06-13-2002, 04:58 PM
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soror
I pray that this is a joke and that he and his future wife just wanted our opinions on such a touchy subject.
QTE
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06-13-2002, 10:57 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2001
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Quote:
Originally posted by Professor
Hell Fire - Can we move on. I am not married as of yet. We are stilllllllll plannnnnning what is to be the grandest event in North Carolina.
professor singing - - - - we fall down, but we get up . . .
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WOW. This was SO ARROGANT. Professor, you asked for opinions and that is what you got. As moderator of this forum you had the power to delete this thread, but you chose not too, leaving it OPEN for future posts. If it is brought up to the top every so often, you have no right to complain as long as you choose to keep it open. I truly feel sorry for your FUTURE wife.
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06-14-2002, 12:12 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2000
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Quote:
Originally posted by Professor
Hell Fire - Can we move on. I am not married as of yet. We are stilllllllll plannnnnning what is to be the grandest event in North Carolina.
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Not to beat a dead horse, but your attitude totally makes me cringe. I hope that you are working MORE on the marriage than you are the WEDDING. The WEDDING is the public commencement of your life with her. The WEDDING lasts about 45 minutes, give or take. The MARRIAGE is to last until death do you part, FORSAKING ALL OTHERS.
I pray that God blesses your union, I really do but I also pray that YOU ARE READY.
__________________
I am a woman, I make mistakes. I make them often. God has given me a talent and that's it. ~ Jill Scott
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06-14-2002, 03:37 AM
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thank you
I'd rather have a SMALL wedding and a faithful husband than a GRAND wedding and a cheating mate
QTE
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06-14-2002, 08:18 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2000
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Ladies - I guess all you feel the same way. You can forgive but you can't forget. That's why my GC ladyfriends are still giving me hell over this and like most keep bringing it up.
Honestly, I have moved on. It was a bang bang that should not have happened.
And don't feel sorry for my girl. She is still loved by a wonderful man that many women would want to have for a husband.
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06-14-2002, 09:23 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 401
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Quote:
Originally posted by Professor
And don't feel sorry for my girl. She is still loved by a wonderful man that many women would want to have for a husband.
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Sorry but I don't know many women that actually say that they WOULD LOVE to marry a man that they can't trust. And I don't think you're too sure that she would still want to have you for a husband if you told her the truth or else you would have already told her. It'd be one thing if you were the type of man that provided the woman you love with honesty and trust despite your own selfishness. But.....I'm out on that note.
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06-14-2002, 09:28 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2000
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Professor,
Again, I'm not judging you. I don't even know you. I'm merely expressing my opinion about the situation. I would have this same opinion if it were another person.
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06-14-2002, 11:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Professor
And don't feel sorry for my girl. She is still loved by a wonderful man that many women would want to have for a husband.
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Um....
BE FOR REAL!!!
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06-14-2002, 11:43 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 22,590
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Just a Question and Some Thoughts
I was just thinking about this some more and I have a question.
WHAT IF SHE CHEATED ON YOU, would you want to know? Would your love for her be strong enough to overcome her act of indiscretion? Do you believe that GOD is a GOD of second chances and restoration?
There is a book called Temptation by Victoria Christopher Murray(DST) that is spiritual fiction that deals with the husband cheating on his wife with her best friend. PROFESSOR, I want you to read it. Maybe God will speak to you and your situation through this book.
I think that you owe it to Constance, your love for her, your love for God, and the MARRIAGE that you hope to have with her to tell her. You owe it to her to have HONESTY in your marriage. If you are afraid that she will leave you, GOOD but give her the chance to talk to God and have GOD lead the both of you in this marriage. Right now you are being selfish IMO and taking the easy way out. I am sure you have told God about this and have looked to him for forgiveness and he has done that. But doesn't the Bible also teach to go to the person who you have wronged and seek their forgiveness as well.
We ALL fall down and with God's help, we get back up again but it is only when we surrender to him. In this case, I really believe that telling Constance is a step in the right direction of getting back up again.
I think you are a good man but you can be a better man by being real with yourself and God.
__________________
I am a woman, I make mistakes. I make them often. God has given me a talent and that's it. ~ Jill Scott
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06-14-2002, 11:58 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 401
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Re: Just a Question and Some Thoughts
Quote:
Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
I was just thinking about this some more and I have a question.
WHAT IF SHE CHEATED ON YOU, would you want to know? Would your love for her be strong enough to overcome her act of indiscretion? Do you believe that GOD is a GOD of second chances and restoration?
There is a book called Temptation by Victoria Christopher Murray(DST) that is spiritual fiction that deals with the husband cheating on his wife with her best friend. PROFESSOR, I want you to read it. Maybe God will speak to you and your situation through this book.
I think that you owe it to Constance, your love for her, your love for God, and the MARRIAGE that you hope to have with her to tell her. You owe it to her to have HONESTY in your marriage. If you are afraid that she will leave you, GOOD but give her the chance to talk to God and have GOD lead the both of you in this marriage. Right now you are being selfish IMO and taking the easy way out. I am sure you have told God about this and have looked to him for forgiveness and he has done that. But doesn't the Bible also teach to go to the person who you have wronged and seek their forgiveness as well.
We ALL fall down and with God's help, we get back up again but it is only when we surrender to him. In this case, I really believe that telling Constance is a step in the right direction of getting back up again.
I think you are a good man but you can be a better man by being real with yourself and God.
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Great post, Soror!!
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06-14-2002, 12:16 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2000
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Again, I thank each of your for various opinions and support. God is a one of second, third, fourth . . . chances and I know him for myself. I have asked that he show me the true desire of my heart and sincerely believe that the choice that I have made is best for me and Constance.
As I strive to be more like Jesus, I encourage each of you to remeber me in your prayers and I will do likewise.
On a final note, I can't say yes or no if I could be forgiving of Constance if she displayed similiar behavior. However, I do know that love does not instantly end when faced with trails. To that end, I would love my Queen just the same!
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06-14-2002, 10:02 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Maryland
Posts: 692
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Ok, here is my take on the situation. I understand no one is perfect.
You cheated...fine
You are sorry...fine
Your bride to be has forgiven you...fine
But why oh why play her out, continue the hurt and disrespect her by posting your business on the web...not fine
Just tacky as hell!
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06-14-2002, 10:34 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 22,590
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Quote:
Originally posted by Reds6
Your bride to be has forgiven you...fine
But why oh why play her out, continue the hurt and disrespect her by posting your business on the web...not fine
Just tacky as hell!
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Soror,
He has chosen not to tell her so therefore she has not had the opportunity to forgive him or not.
__________________
I am a woman, I make mistakes. I make them often. God has given me a talent and that's it. ~ Jill Scott
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