Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended - Page 8

naraht · #**106** 09-27-2010, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

I'm going to a wedding reception tonight, but I doubt I'll have anything to report here! (Just the reception because it's a Mormon wedding and non-LDS people can't go to the ceremony).

Mormon weddings really come in two types.
(My wife is Mormon, I'm not)
1) Temple Weddings - the "We are going to the Temple and only those LDS who are faithful and have permission from their church leaders (which in this case requires being 18*) can attend"

2) Other Weddings - Normally occurs when one or both members are recent converts to the church *OR* when the *woman* is getting married for the second time.

For #1, it is just about *impossible* to overspend for the wedding. (No Music, Officiant is normally an *experienced* volunteer who has it as a church calling, modest wedding dress (train if it exists has to be detachable), Groom's outfit is his normal temple formalwear (all white as well)

No alcohol at the reception for either type of course. Needless to say all of these rules tend to cut down on the possibility of drama...

*Yes, it is possible for someone under 18 to come into the Temple for certain specific things, but none are *directly* related to weddings. So a 16 year old girl wouldn't be able to see her sister get married and in fact for a convert to the Church, it is entirely possible for *parents* not to be able to see them get married...

angels&angles · #**107** 09-27-2010, 02:14 PM

I've only been to a few weddings in my time, but one of them was really weird. Another one is upcoming, and it has the markings of a trainwreck all over it.

WEDDING #1

About 2 years ago a good friend of mine from HS got married. He is VERY VERY religious, and had been dating his fiance for 6 months when he proposed. I am about 90% sure that they got married so fast (both were still in college, not sure she was old enough to drink) so they could have sex. (This I think is the pitfall of the waiting-til-marriage thing. Another discussion for another time).

I'm not sure my mother and I were even actually invited to the wedding, we were just sort of told about it.

The beginning of the ceremony wasn't too bad (except apparently the groom forgot to bring his pants and the groomsmen had to run to walmart to get him some cheap black pants. This is totally typical of the groom, very smart but absolutely no sense). But then the minister (pastor? not too familiar with the terms) started giving a little speech (this is paraphrased, it's been two years):

"Bride, Groom, I want you to face each other and look deep into each others' eyes. You see love there, you see your soul mate. Well, I want you to know that in a few years you will wake up and see the person next to you, and you will NOT love them."

He went on in this vein for a while. I think I know where he was going with it, that a marriage isn't all sunshine and rainbows and that you need to work through the hard times. But it just seemed SO INAPPROPRIATE to do this in the middle of the ceremony.

Plus the vows had all this weird stuff about how the bride would "cleave herself" to her husband. Awkward (and reinforced my ideas about the reasons for the quick marriage...)

The reception was in the childrens' play room of the church. There was no alcohol, it was the most awkward reception ever.

WEDDING #2
On Saturday is my cousin's wedding. Due to some very complicated family issues, she and her brother came to live with my family for a few years while we were all in high school. It was not an easy time for any of us.

She's marrying a very nice (but boring) young man, whose family is crazy religious (like refuses to allow their kids to celebrate Halloween religious). Also, Cousin's dad has finally shown back up on the scene, and he has a new wife. New Wife and Cousin HATE each other.

Also, apparently, New Wife is crazy. She has repeatedly told Cousin that she will NEVER attend Cousin's wedding, that Cousin is ruining Cousin's Dad's life, etc etc. And then when Cousin (correctly, to my mind) sent her father a wedding invitation with New Wife invited as well, New Wife sent back the RSVP with a huge red ZERO in the Guests Attending spot, and a diatribe written around the edge. Apparently this is because Cousin did not include New Wife with her father in the actual invitation (i.e. it said "Father's daughter, Cousin" instead of "Father and New Wife's daughter, Cousin" engraved on the invitation).

Seriously, this woman is crazy. Currently she is planning on attending both wedding and bridal shower (!), although she has changed her mind on both several times.

Also, she hates my entire family because we did not throw her a reception after she and Cousin's Father married. Because they kept it a secret. (We knew because Cousin told us, but neither member of the couple did. --This is my mother's brother... sheesh).

On the other hand, Cousin used to be very slim but grew a lot in college (and never got clothes any bigger)... her strapless corset, princess dress is just not flattering.

I am VERY interested to see how this wedding will turn out. There will be no alcohol at the reception because Groom's parents do not know their (25 year old) son drinks.

MysticCat · #**108** 09-27-2010, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angels&angles

Plus the vows had all this weird stuff about how the bride would "cleave herself" to her husband. Awkward (and reinforced my ideas about the reasons for the quick marriage...)

FWIW2,

Many traditional wedding vows include the vow to cleave or "keep" only to the spouse. The wording alludes to this passage (Mark 10:6-8) as translated in the King James Version: "But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And the twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh." The implication of "cleave" is to be joined inseperably. (The New Revised Standard says "be joined to his wife.")

Can't wait to hear about this weekend's wedding.

PeppyGPhiB · #**109** 09-27-2010, 06:47 PM

In high school I went to a cousin's wedding that had a Renaissance/mideval theme. Guests didn't have to dress up, but it was encouraged. Entertainment included jousting and a jester, and we ate with our hands. Yes, I'm serious.

victoriana · #**110** 09-27-2010, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

In high school I went to a cousin's wedding that had a Renaissance/mideval theme. Guests didn't have to dress up, but it was encouraged. Entertainment included jousting and a jester, and we ate with our hands. Yes, I'm serious.

HAHAHAH!!! This is the funniest thing I've heard all day! LOVE IT. That's insane though, I've never heard of anyone doing this for real.

LionTamer · #**111** 09-27-2010, 08:08 PM

So many, most involving too long a wait between the bar opening and the dinner being served. But at a recent reunion, we agreed this one took the cake.:

Bride was the VERY proper daughter of a Rear Admiral and sister of a Naval Academy cadet. Wedding was at Naval Academy. Nothing in the invitation implied dinner (to me), so I filled up on snacks, while everyone else drank and drank and drank and drank.

What ensued: Girls puking into potted plants in a nice Annapolis restaurant. Girls kissing cadets they had just met at the wedding (although I have a nice picture or me wearing one guy's hat). Girls teaching cadets how to tie marachino cherry stems into knots. Girls going to the hospital to pick up the groom's fraternity brother, who, jumped into the Potomoc in an attempt to evade Naval Academy MPs who caught him breaking into the Dean's car (in fairness, it was the same make, model and color as the car we had arrived in, and he couldn't figure out why the keys didn't work).

Psi U MC Vito · #**112** 09-28-2010, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LionTamer

Girls going to the hospital to pick up the groom's fraternity brother, who, jumped into the Potomoc in an attempt to evade Naval Academy MPs who caught him breaking into the Dean's car (in fairness, it was the same make, model and color as the car we had arrived in, and he couldn't figure out why the keys didn't work).

Oh god that is so so funny lol.

DaemonSeid · #**113** 10-01-2010, 12:12 PM

ooooh...last stop before I go because when I think about these I kept taking mental notes for things myself and my s/o to place on our NOT TO DO list.

1. It's not that it was the worst but how GHETTO it was. I won't talk about the fact that the bride had spent 800K on a 400K house because she wanted 'all of the upgrades' and truthfully can't afford it and had (cuz she foreclosed a few months ago)her kids, sister's kids and baby daddy who wasn't working at the time kids, living there and then had the nerve to have the wedding in a large chruch which was 3/4 empty because dayum near the whole family was in the bridal party. There was a total of 40 people AT THE ALTAR including the bride and groom and 1/2 of them acted like they never saw formal wear before...and we aren't going to talk about the reception where we waited for nearly 2 hrs because they rented a stretch Hummer AND a Rolls Royce and got caught up taking pics and uhhhh....yeah they got pulled over.

2. This disaster...wow. Ummm...let's see...the couple who lived in MD decided that it was cheaper to do the ceremony in some non descript Hilton hotel off of the highway in this lil @ssed courtyard in the dead middle of August...add to that the bride who always for as long as I have known her been LATE for every dayum thing in her life was 1 and a 1/2 hrs late because she was STILL putting on makeup even though she had been up since the butt crack of dawn getting ready (the wedding was to start at 1pm) The funny part was watching the groom studder over the for richer or for poorer line (whu what? huh?..oh ok...) But the KILLER? THEY SERVED US BREAKFAST FOOD FOR THE RECEPTION DINNER!! And it wasn't nice gourmet food like crepes or Belgian waffles or French toast, but it was the STANDARD non descript no taste having breakfast food that you can get at ANY Hilton hotel that's...just off of the highway.

ForeverRoses · #**114** 10-01-2010, 12:44 PM

My boss' daughter recently was married in some sort of Mormon ceremony. I guess it wasn't a temple wedding because all the grandchildren were in the wedding.

Anyway, I guess during to vows the officiant asked the bride "is you is or is you not his baby?" to which she replied "I is". He then asked the groom "is you is or is you not his baby?".

We thought this was some sort of joke, but the officiant did it with a completely straight face.

Alumiyum · #**115** 10-01-2010, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

My boss' daughter recently was married in some sort of Mormon ceremony. I guess it wasn't a temple wedding because all the grandchildren were in the wedding.

Anyway, I guess during to vows the officiant asked the bride "is you is or is you not his baby?" to which she replied "I is". He then asked the groom "is you is or is you not his baby?".

We thought this was some sort of joke, but the officiant did it with a completely straight face.

Maybe he has an amazing poker face?

thetaj · #**116** 10-25-2010, 08:14 PM

My cousin and his fiancee were both drama majors... The groomsmen walked down the aisle to the Darth Vader theme and the ceremony begins with the minister quoting from the wedding in The Princess Bride ("mawwige... is what bwings us togetha today.... wuv.... twue wuv.... is a dweam wivin a dweam") much to the discomfort of the audience. Everyone was dressed normally, short bridesmaids gowns, long wedding gown, groom in a tux, groomsmen in nice suits... and tennis shoes of their choice. Not all matching, or even close. When pronounced man and wife, the bride and groom straight up made out in front of everyone.. ick. Aside from all of that, the ceremony and reception were gorgeous. Just a little weird.

carnation · #**117** 10-25-2010, 08:54 PM

I just forwarded that story to a ton of people.

victoriana · #**118** 10-25-2010, 10:23 PM

Hahaha! That's too funny... I can't believe that. Marching down the aisle to the Darth Vader theme... The most ridiculous processional/recessional music I've ever heard: "Baby Got Back" or "Ice Ice Baby."

ellebud · #**119** 10-26-2010, 02:21 AM

I can do you one better: Recessional with "You know I want you!"

nikki1920 · #**120** 10-27-2010, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

In high school I went to a cousin's wedding that had a Renaissance/mideval theme. Guests didn't have to dress up, but it was encouraged. Entertainment included jousting and a jester, and we ate with our hands. Yes, I'm serious.

They got married at Medieval Times??

that must have been . . . different.