What Not to Say to a Released PNM

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by thetalady

AMEN!!!

These girls need to understand and appreciate the meaning of our sisterhood and what they are joining. That takes time.

Here, the guys might spend a year (or two!) getting to know someone before they invite them to the house or to a rush event. On the one hand, they really get to know them before they offer them a bid, and so it is more reasonable to have the short pledge period - on the other, they are somewhat limited to men they already know from church, camp, or school. The big get bigger and the small have to work at it to bring in new men.

If women went to completely real unstructured informal recruitment at some of these big state schools, it would be all recruitment all the time, and quickly devolve to very cliquey. Y'all would all be mad at us for not taking enough OOS women, rural women, and first generation college women. ( Hey, it might get pledge classes at Arkansas down to manageble size? )

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

It kinda seems like a failing of NPC rush that it works for the men but would never work for the women.

Who says it works for the men? It would be interesting to compare rentention rates for a number of decades. Not saying NPC would beat IFC, just that it might reveal...something.
Plus, most fraternities have some kind of inactive membership status, while many NPC groups don't.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I'm not really suggesting the elimination of pledge periods, but I would like to see less of an emphasis on "you're initiated now, the learning is over". Even among NPC orgs, some do a better job of others in making sure there is continuous development throughout your time as a member.

I absolutely agree with this. You can always learn something new, or be reminded of something you've forgotten.

[HQWest]

[QUOTE=AnchorAlumna;2185970]Who says it works for the men? It would be interesting to compare rentention rates for a number of decades. Not saying NPC would beat IFC, just that it might reveal...something.
Plus, most fraternities have some kind of inactive membership status, while many NPC groups don't.
QUOTE]

Exactly. I think that while NPC chapter numbers may be much higher bid day -many individual IFC chapter groups would beat their comparable campus NPC groups both in graduate rates and long-term retention.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Who says it works for the men? It would be interesting to compare rentention rates for a number of decades. Not saying NPC would beat IFC, just that it might reveal...something.

And I think it's only a relative handful of IFC/NIC (or similar) fraternities that have no pledge period and go straight to full initiation. Most fraternities do have some sort of pledge period, though they may not call it that.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by HQWest

Here, the guys might spend a year (or two!) getting to know someone before they invite them to the house or to a rush event. On the one hand, they really get to know them before they offer them a bid, and so it is more reasonable to have the short pledge period - on the other, they are somewhat limited to men they already know from church, camp, or school.

Just my 2 cents worth.... My experience is limited to large SEC NPC recruitments with hundreds and hundreds, even 1000+, women rushing. I don't know of any fraternity rush that approaches the numbers of women wanting to join NPC oranizations. I think that the sheer volume of PNMs dictate a lot of the process that is in place. I cannot see getting to know 1000+ women well enough for members to offer bids and initiate within a week or two.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

^^^^^Not to toot our horn, but this is why I love our Essential Sigma program. It's all about continuous member development (member ed sequence for every year, even seniors) as opposed to solely NM ed.

/hi-jack.

Our Alpha Gamma Delta Experience is also about continuous member development. I think it's great

[DPhiE_MaddieB]

I only wish I had seen this thread a few months ago, it would have helped me out a lot! My best friend was going through Formal Recruitment at her school, just to give some background on her she has a 4.16 GPA, is in the Honors program at her school, is about to be the president of her Honors GLO as a sophomore, has a full academic scholarship that is extremely hard to obtain, and didn't go through Recruitment as a freshman because she won a HUGE pageant back home that had her coming home every weekend for different events she had to be present for as the holder of that title. She has never not been mentioned for interview in ANY of the pageants she has been in, has held over 30 different titles, won State in GISA extemporaneous speaking when we were in high school, was a cheerleader, competitive dancer, One Act play member, Beta club president, Miss Southwest Georgia Academy (teacher selected head female senior superlative), and our valedictorian. Needless to say I NEVER thought that the morning of her Pref I would get a call from her saying she got that infamous Pi Chi call. I had no clue what to say. And her Pi Chi didn't do a whole lot to help. I just don't want her to be completely turned off to Greek life, because she would be an asset to ANY chapter of any sorority, and I have no double interest because my organization doesn't have a chapter at her school. Any advice to get her to try COB?

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by DPhiE_MaddieB

I only wish I had seen this thread a few months ago, it would have helped me out a lot! My best friend was going through Formal Recruitment at her school, just to give some background on her she has a 4.16 GPA, is in the Honors program at her school, is about to be the president of her Honors GLO as a sophomore, has a full academic scholarship that is extremely hard to obtain, and didn't go through Recruitment as a freshman because she won a HUGE pageant back home that had her coming home every weekend for different events she had to be present for as the holder of that title. She has never not been mentioned for interview in ANY of the pageants she has been in, has held over 30 different titles, won State in GISA extemporaneous speaking when we were in high school, was a cheerleader, competitive dancer, One Act play member, Beta club president, Miss Southwest Georgia Academy (teacher selected head female senior superlative), and our valedictorian. Needless to say I NEVER thought that the morning of her Pref I would get a call from her saying she got that infamous Pi Chi call. I had no clue what to say. And her Pi Chi didn't do a whole lot to help. I just don't want her to be completely turned off to Greek life, because she would be an asset to ANY chapter of any sorority, and I have no double interest because my organization doesn't have a chapter at her school. Any advice to get her to try COB?

Honestly, I'd just let it go and let her do her own thing. I'm sure your friend is wonderful, beautiful, smart, and accomplished, but it seems quite strange that someone with that many accolades and attributes would be dropped. Perhaps she rubbed some people the wrong way during her freshman year. Feel free to mention COB, but she sounds like she has a lot of great things going on and she'll do well at her school with or without sorority life.

[IndianaSigKap]

She also might be at a school with a competitive recruitment and ranked some chapters more highly than chapters she was more suited for in reality. Some chapters may have felt she was too involved in other organizations and may not have much time to devote to the chapter. Some chapters do not take sophomores to keep their classes even. Who knows? You could let her know about COB and what it's like, but ultimately it's her decision.

[DPhiE_MaddieB]

Thank you all! I really appreciate the advice and its nice to hear explanations from more "recruitment seasoned" sorority members. I have only just gotten through my first as a sister this fall.

[carnation]

I thought I would bump this, having heard some sad stories recently. It started out quite awhile back but some things never change.

[Cheerio]

One thing to NOT say is, "So, when will you be allowed to go thru rush again?".

Long stories about how you or other women got over the same event and did just fine may NOT help, unless you are asked to specifically provide such examples.

[erica812]

When I was dropped as a freshman, my Rho Chi said, "Oh my goodness!! This never happens!!" Well...that made me feel just great. Yeah...don't say that.


(I am happy to report that I recovered well and got involved in many wonderful campus experiences.)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by erica812

When I was dropped as a freshman, my Rho Chi said, "Oh my goodness!! This never happens!!" Well...that made me feel just great. Yeah...don't say that.


(I am happy to report that I recovered well and got involved in many wonderful campus experiences.)

So way back when I was in undergrad, I said that to a hallmate! As an adult I cringe because THAT COMMENT WAS SUPER UNHELPFUL.

[AnchorAlumna]

Some PNMs are so fabulous that I think they get dropped because everybody thought their sorority would never have a chance with her.