Revealing secrets of defunct/absorbed GLOs

some of the founding mothers of my chapter were previously affiliated with a local sorority.

i have never heard them discuss any of their secrets, probably because the local still exists and it was agreed that nothing would be said.

even if they did, i would feel uneasy knowing anything about them, because i know i would hate for them to know anything about us.

[ADqtPiMel]

If my relationship with my significant other reached the point where he absolutely couldn't bear to not know my sorority secrets, I would realize that I was with a crazed control freak and break off the relationship...not tell him.

Somebody explain to me why any reasonable husband would demand to know his wife's sorority ritual.

[Kallima]

My brother used to date one of my sisters and he seems to know a little too much about things he shouldn't. I know I didn't tell him. Some people just can't keep their mouths shut when it comes to "secrets" why would anyone expect that a secret ritual would be any different?
Yes, I agree that it shouldn't be spoken about in the presence of anyone who shouldn't be listening, but there are always going to be people who just have to share. Doesn't make it right, but why should we be the ones to judge?

[RedRoseSAI]

Originally posted by Diamond Delta
so can you talk about the ritual you went through with a lady who went through a different one 30 years ago?

Sure. They're sisters and are allowed to attend any SAI event. It's pretty much a given that any GLO with some years under its belt has had numerous ritual revisions. I would be shocked to find one that hasn't.

But would you feel differently about members wh o had gone thorugh a different ritual? Ritual is what kind of binds us all together, if it is diffeent, then part of that bond is gone huh? or not?

Not really, due to the nature of the changes. I'd go into more detail, but, uh....I can't.


Now, if you were my husband, then we could talk.... (sorry, couldn't resist).

[RedRoseSAI]

Diamond Delta, I tried sending you a PM, but your box is full.

[PhoenixAzul]

It really sucks when your boyfriend isn't Greek, doesn't understand, and fears that you're being pushed to have sex with ritual blow up cows or something. When I was pledging, it broke my heart to tell him "I'm sorry honey, I cant tell you where I was tonight". or "I can't tell you what we're doing tonight" or "I don't know what time we'll be done" or "it's none of your business" or "I can't come home, it's Inspiration (hell) week". I just joked with him that it was time for the ritual beatings (now what I tell him when I'm going to chapter).

But at the same time, i really hope he understands that these things are super important to me. I can't even tell my parents and I probably wouldn't even tell my priest. Some members don't know parts of our ritual for various reasons, and we have to keep that from them till the right time (they eventually experience it, just a matter of timing). And keeping secrets from a sister sucks, because we pride ourselves on being open to eachother.

I think I would like to propose something to all the other GC'rs out there...never ask anyone about their ritual. Things that are public, fine. Some pledging activities are meant to be public. But it's just bad form (in my eyes) to ask "what happens when you're initiated"? (answer!: We have a ceremony that marks our transition to full sisterhood and then we go and have dinner).

[Wine&SilverBlue]

My boyfriend is not greek, and doesn't know enough about greek life to even think to ask about ritual stuff or the meaning behind my letters etc.

When I was pledging he used to ask me to tell him "secret stuff" and I'd smile and tell him I couldn't because it was secret.

The one thing I did tell him was when we had a candle pass, and how a candle pass worked, because I've heard candlepasses being discussed openly on GC and didn't think it was ritual or secret.

I don't really think there is a reason for me to tell him any of Pi Phi's secrets, as it wouldn't mean as much to him, and I would feel horribly guilty. Instead, he just teases me about being so involved in "PiPhi!!" (which he says in a high-pitched teasing voice).

In
Before
The
Lock.

I'm glad you're not a Sigma Nu, lovely girl, take that as you will.

KR,

You posted that pic before i got a chance to hunt for the same thing, kudos.

KS 361

[Diamond Delta]

Originally posted by RedRoseSAI
Diamond Delta, I tried sending you a PM, but your box is full.

Sorry ! It's clean now!!

[CarolinaCutie]

Originally posted by ADqtPiMel
If my relationship with my significant other reached the point where he absolutely couldn't bear to not know my sorority secrets, I would realize that I was with a crazed control freak and break off the relationship...not tell him.

Somebody explain to me why any reasonable husband would demand to know his wife's sorority ritual.

I completely agree with this. I just don't see any appropriate situation where the sharing of ritual secrets would occur. If he asked nicely, or in a joking way, then I would respond also in a lighthearted matter that it was secret. If he demanded to know, I would tell him he was a complete idiot. I think more likely than not, it's a case of loose lips on the sorority member's part... and you know what they say about loose lips.

Honestly, I think you're taking the "two become one" way too literally. I don't need to share my sorority ritual with my future husband, just like I don't need to share all I know about calculus or every single mundane detail of my day. In a normal relationship, the vow we take as GLO members to keep all ritual proceedings secret should not be an issue.

I think part of the problem is the sensationalism that takes place when we talk about the secret and sacred parts of our ritual. If you're constantly discussing how secret it is, or if you make it seem shady, it's in the nature of human curiousity for others to want to know. I encourage descriptions of ritual events that don't stimulate the imagination- no one needs to know that it's more than a meeting or a simple ceremony. If you tell someone that initiation is similar to a wedding ceremony, where a member pledges to uphold the values of the organization, I doubt they'll need or want to know anything else.

[aephi alum]

In my original post I did ask if it was "ok" to reveal the secrets of defunct or absorbed GLOs, after mentioning that it appeared that my sister had shared Sigma Iota Phi secrets with her husband. I honestly don't know if her reasoning is "it's ok to tell your spouse anything, even things you've sworn to keep secret" or "SigIPhi is defunct, so my oath is no longer binding, and I would be comfortable telling the secrets to anyone and everyone".

I'm not "angry or hostile" toward Carol, just disappointed that she apparently broke her word. As I stated at the start of this thread, I feel that my oath to Sigma Iota Phi is still binding. I'm not happy that Bob knows the secrets, but at least she didn't put up a website or anything.

My husband and I can share almost anything with each other... almost. He keeps his Masonic secrets; I keep my sorority secrets. We don't share with each other things our friends have told us in confidence. That doesn't mean our marriage is any less strong. Our respective oaths are not in conflict with our wedding vows, and honestly, I don't thnk he particularly cares about the green and purple catsuits and what the sheep was really used for.

[IvySpice]

What grade are we all in? I just can't believe that this name-calling is necessary. I further can't believe that I just witnessed some adults expressing disagreement with other adults by means of a picture of troll dolls. If your viewpoint has merit, surely you can support it with an actual argument.

[slickwilly95991]

I'm not sure if this has been brought up or not. I couldn't sit through reading the same thing over and over so I just skipped to my point.

The organization is no longer in existence. The constitution and rituals have been "replaced" with new values. This was the choice of the sisters when they chose to go national. The bonds of secrecy no longer apply to something that is no longer in existence. It makes no sense to keep something secret that doesn't exist. That chapter should make the initiation into a new ceremony just for their own chapter. Something they can do to kick off initiation week. If it is used in that manner, then it would be appropriate to be upset if secrets are exposed by alumni, or undergrads.

[aephi alum]

You've addressed the question I was trying to ask... "is it ok to reveal secrets of a defunct GLO" rather than "is it ok to reveal GLO secrets to specific people, like your spouse" (although that is also an interesting question).

My local sorority no longer exists, but the sisters with whom I shared that bond are still around. We didn't "declassify" the ritual, so to speak, when we joined AEPhi. We did talk about reworking SigIPhi's ritual into an Inspiration Week activity, but nothing ever became of that. (Some of my chapter sisters don't even know we originated as a local sorority. )

Since we didn't make a decision as a sorority to "declassify" the ritual or share it with our chapter sisters, I feel that my oath not to reveal SigIPhi secrets to non-SigIPhis is still in force. Out of respect for my sisters and our bond as SigIPhis, I have not revealed, nor will I reveal, the secrets (except in the unlikely event that we decide as a sorority that we want to make our ritual public).

[AchtungBaby80]

My stepdad has told me a lot of stuff about the fraternity he was in during college, which was a local and has since been taken over by a national organization; I know the handshake, some ritual stuff, and some things that they were required to do during pledging. From the way he talks, though, their rules were a little more lax than what most of us are used to...I think their members could even join another group after being initiated if they ever decided to quit, so maybe they weren't as secretive as national groups are. I don't know. I think if it bothers you, you shouldn't tell, because that's your subconscious telling you that you think it's wrong. I guess it just depends on how your group worked.