UIUC Rush Story

[mystikchick]

Wow, I don't read for two days because I just started school again and look what happens I'm in the entertained camp. Honesty is good and well, but there are ways to be honest without coming across as shallow. Regardless, good luck with the rest of rush.

[jwsteele]

Granted, I am not in a sorority...I'm in a fraternity. And I've been a long-time lurker (with very few posts) on this site. But to be honest, most of the women posting in this thread are coming off very negatively. Yes, she may have said some things that were shallow. However, the vibe that people outside this conversation would get from reading your responses is that a bunch of sophisticated sorority women (many of them far older than the original poster) are sitting on the edges of their seats hoping that she gets cut and is in tears. That is not endearing at all to sororities in general and frankly comes off as just as petty as the poster's original comments. There is a difference between wanting a PNM to realize that houses may have other strengths besides physical appearance. That's great. But the way it is coming off in text, despite intentions, is that you are excited and hoping she gets her feelings hurt (not to mention a slight undertone of "pretty chapters aren't as good as non-pretty chapters at sisterhood, etc" which is just as unfounded as "ugly chapters aren't as good"). If you really care about how all groups are perceived then maybe you should step back and realize how nasty some of your responses sound, not only to non-Greeks but also to Greeks that are not active members of GreekChat. I'm not saying this for everybody, because many have expressed their opinions in a very mature way. Some of you, however, have not and in my book that is just as shallow and catty (even more so, in some ways) then LittleMissVixen's original post.

Flame away.

[UGAalum94]

JWSteele,

You're on to something there, and maybe we just shouldn't comment.

It's just weird when you suspect that someone maybe be ruining her own recruitment by being openly critical of chapters. Should you just not say anything at all for fear of seeming gleeful about potential bad results?

I don't know.

I deleted a few of mine that in retrospect contributed to the issue you describe. But it's hard not to love the snark when the OP is so clearing dishing it out and takes some effort to not go to that level.

[jwsteele]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

JWSteele,

You're on to something there, and maybe we just shouldn't comment.

It's just weird when you suspect that someone maybe be ruining her own recruitment by being openly critical of chapters. Should you just not say anything at all for fear of seeming gleeful about potential bad results?

I don't know.

I think it's very valid and important feedback, and if done with poise and tact it is invaluable. And many of the women in the thread did just that. But some of the posts came off as catty. I just think that advice like that should be carefully worded, that's all.

[ZTA72]

Maybe it's just me, but not bashing some one's group who they have put heart and soul in is just good manners... and good advice for life.
call it what you want
ZTA72

[Low C Sharp]

Ya'll quit bugging her, this is a great thread and I want to keep reading!!

Rats! This is what I was thinking, too. Now it's too late.

Look. We're talking about a process that involves thousands of young women devoting hundreds of thousands of hours over the course of each school year to their shmoozing skills, matching outfits, decorations, chants, song-and-dance routines, rotational techniques, and even seminars with marketing consultants.

It doesn't make sense to have an attack of the vapors when we learn that -- mercy! -- a consumer of this marketing is actually INFLUENCED by appearances! Break out the smelling salts.

If shallow marketing didn't work on PNMs, groups would not waste their time. I don't think anyone would have jumped down Vixen's throat for saying, "ABC's pref decorations were so beautiful! I felt like I was walking into a fairy castle! I decided right then on ABC!" But honestly, that kind of thing is even less substantive than attractiveness. You can probably learn more about the vibe of a group from the looks of the girls than you can from their skill at pinning Christmas lights to the ceiling.
________
Http://Vaporizer.Org/

[TigerOwl]

JWSteele, Thank you!

[Sister Havana]

I'm curious to know which one is my cousin's house. I think I figured it out but I am not sure.

[SECMom]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Rats! This is what I was thinking, too. Now it's too late.

Look. We're talking about a process that involves thousands of young women devoting hundreds of thousands of hours over the course of each school year to their shmoozing skills, matching outfits, decorations, chants, song-and-dance routines, rotational techniques, and even seminars with marketing consultants.

It doesn't make sense to have an attack of the vapors when we learn that -- mercy! -- a consumer of this marketing is actually INFLUENCED by appearances! Break out the smelling salts.

If shallow marketing didn't work on PNMs, groups would not waste their time. I don't think anyone would have jumped down Vixen's throat for saying, "ABC's pref decorations were so beautiful! I felt like I was walking into a fairy castle! I decided right then on ABC!" But honestly, that kind of thing is even less substantive than attractiveness. You can probably learn more about the vibe of a group from the looks of the girls than you can from their skill at pinning Christmas lights to the ceiling.

AMEN LowCSharp! I always like your posts...but then again, I am a musician....

[UWGPhiBalum]

Originally Posted by jwsteele

Granted, I am not in a sorority...I'm in a fraternity. And I've been a long-time lurker (with very few posts) on this site. But to be honest, most of the women posting in this thread are coming off very negatively. Yes, she may have said some things that were shallow. However, the vibe that people outside this conversation would get from reading your responses is that a bunch of sophisticated sorority women (many of them far older than the original poster) are sitting on the edges of their seats hoping that she gets cut and is in tears. That is not endearing at all to sororities in general and frankly comes off as just as petty as the poster's original comments. There is a difference between wanting a PNM to realize that houses may have other strengths besides physical appearance. That's great. But the way it is coming off in text, despite intentions, is that you are excited and hoping she gets her feelings hurt (not to mention a slight undertone of "pretty chapters aren't as good as non-pretty chapters at sisterhood, etc" which is just as unfounded as "ugly chapters aren't as good"). If you really care about how all groups are perceived then maybe you should step back and realize how nasty some of your responses sound, not only to non-Greeks but also to Greeks that are not active members of GreekChat. I'm not saying this for everybody, because many have expressed their opinions in a very mature way. Some of you, however, have not and in my book that is just as shallow and catty (even more so, in some ways) then LittleMissVixen's original post.

Flame away.

Amen.

[TigerOwl]

Oh and Low C Sharp---thank you too for your nice addition to JWSteele's words!

I might add one more small piece---These 1,206 registered PNM's, along with the over 2,000 collegians and advisors in the chapters ALL had to put on their marketing skills for 29 --yes I said 29 parties/invites within a 48 hour period-----yes I said 48 hour period. (Open house and 1st invite) No other university in the country has that many events happening in that short of time!

[nittanyalum]

I'm new as an actual registered user of GC and mostly a lurker too, and while I applaud JWSteele and get what he's saying and want to stand firmly in his "mature" camp, I gotta tell you, this is the first thread I've come across that I went all the way back to page 1 and read every post. Maybe it's a girl thing, but for good or bad, I've been highly entertained by this thread.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

Rats! This is what I was thinking, too. Now it's too late.

Look. We're talking about a process that involves thousands of young women devoting hundreds of thousands of hours over the course of each school year to their shmoozing skills, matching outfits, decorations, chants, song-and-dance routines, rotational techniques, and even seminars with marketing consultants.

It doesn't make sense to have an attack of the vapors when we learn that -- mercy! -- a consumer of this marketing is actually INFLUENCED by appearances! Break out the smelling salts.

If shallow marketing didn't work on PNMs, groups would not waste their time. I don't think anyone would have jumped down Vixen's throat for saying, "ABC's pref decorations were so beautiful! I felt like I was walking into a fairy castle! I decided right then on ABC!" But honestly, that kind of thing is even less substantive than attractiveness. You can probably learn more about the vibe of a group from the looks of the girls than you can from their skill at pinning Christmas lights to the ceiling.

You are so right! That is why I really, really HATE recruitment! It is so false and cheesy! I hope no one joins AOII because they liked our dresses at pref! I guess some do, so I shouldn't be surprised. It really is hard to convince people that sorority life is more than just a popularity contest when we make our intake process one (speaking of recruitment in general not MS secrets of AOII so don't start that!.)

[blondebutsmart]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

You are so right! That is why I really, really HATE recruitment! It is so false and cheesy! I hope no one joins AOII because they liked our dresses at pref! I guess some do, so I shouldn't be surprised. It really is hard to convince people that sorority life is more than just a popularity contest when we make our intake process one (speaking of recruitment in general not MS secrets of AOII so don't start that!.)

Yes, this really turns me off. I would love to find a group of sisters to bond with and to find a philanthropy to contribute to, but this other stuff drives me crazy. It sounds like a lot of high school drama. (I want to leave that behind!)

I'm trying to remember, like someone else said, that not all the girls are like this. I wish the best for littlemissvixen and I hope that means she ends up in a place where other girls might be a good influence on her. Truly, I'm not trying to sound like some goody two shoes, I'm trying to convince myself that I should still give recruitment a try.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by blondebutsmart

Yes, this really turns me off. I would love to find a group of sisters to bond with and to find a philanthropy to contribute to, but this other stuff drives me crazy. It sounds like a lot of high school drama. (I want to leave that behind!)

I'm trying to remember, like someone else said, that not all the girls are like this. I wish the best for littlemissvixen and I hope that means she ends up in a place where other girls might be a good influence on her. Truly, I'm not trying to sound like some goody two shoes, I'm trying to convince myself that I should still give recruitment a try.

It all depends on the school's greek system. In really competitive systems, all of this really matters. You have to get past the popularity component before you can find out if you can have a connection with the groups. In smaller systems like at my alma mater, it's no problem. Sorority life is much more than pretty girls and pretty dresses (though there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best!) I've become more of a feminist through the years. I truly believe that EVERY woman would benefit from and enrich the greek system. We can't change the ugly parts of recruitment until someone is brave enough to make the change. If you do decide to rush (and there are GREAT reasons to do so!) just be prepared to look past the superficial, ignore the gossip and decide for yourself what is right for you!
P.S. I'm blonde but smart, too!