Things you want to say (but shouldn't) outloud at work

[33girl]

Originally posted by adpiucf
If you needed a kidney and I was the only available donor, do you know what I'd do? I'd remove my kidney and pickle it and put it up on a shelf next to your bed and MOCK you.

dang, that's hardcore.

I would say - you are a nice person and everything, but you squick me out in the extreme.

[opaldragon]

"No, I don't know why every time you call for xyz person she's unavailable. Maybe you just have bad timing. Or you're such a raging asshole that xyz avoids you at all costs."

[ZTAngel]

You suck and everyone in this office hates you. For starters, you think you're eveyone's boss when you're just a secretary with a glorified title. Quit whining when things don't go your way and apologize when you're wrong. While you think it's hot to be a six-foot tall woman, everyone in this office talks behind your back saying you look like a man. And not even an attractive man.

[AlphaFrog]

The president of the company stamps her own mail, do you think you could manage to do the same? I'm not the menial-tasks bitch.

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

"Shit."

[33girl]

If you were in the office more than 2 minutes a week, you might know what's going on, you stupid bitch. I find it really fucked up that the only thing that resonates with you is "boo hoo, the big bad comptroller/soccer mom yelled at me." You aren't fit to mop floors let alone manage people, and guess what - EVERYONE knows it.

T was right when she said once this merger is done we're all going to be working at Wal-mart. (Except me. I'm going to work at Ulta.)

[33girl]

You are all a bunch of annoying asshats and I can't wait till I leave this job and don't have to deal with you anymore.

[GeekyPenguin]

Listen you insipid middle aged biznatch, I am here working as a FAVOR to the manager and I don't care if you got promoted TWO DAYS AGO you are not MY assistant manager and your behavior is WAAAAAAAAAAAAY THE HECK out of line and furthermore you are over 40 so WTF are you wearing bitch pants for, we don't want to see the line of your granny panties and DO NOT yell at me for wearing out of season footwear when you are wearing it too and ALSO sleeveless is not appropriate when you have armwaddle and IN ADDITION you talk too loud and the other employee is not your personal slave and I should NOT have to help all six customers while you stand there and try on shoes and chittychat with one of your whitetrashville friends. And how many side businesses do you need, miss Avon-PartyLite-LiaSophia? I'm sorry I make more money than your middle aged ass but maybe, just MAYBE, it is because a) I actually try and do work b) I apply myself c) I have aspirations in life greater than the mall.

Now I am going back to law school. I will not miss you and next time they ask me to come work for a few weeks as a FAVOR, I will ask if you have been fired yet. I sincerely hope for the sake of the company and all our nice customers that you have been.

<3,
GP

[AlphaFrog]

Dang Kath, nice release, do you feel better??


Dear boss,

Get your own scanner and scan the freakin 20 page submittals yourself.

Thank you.

[texgal]

Give me something to do. PLEASE give me something to do. Do you realize that you're paying me to sit here in this office and stare out the window at the birds? Do you realize that one day I added 1+1 on the calculator until it reached 15,873 before someone finally came in to give me something to do? And I was finished with that in about ten minutes and went on to play solitare on my phone for the rest of the day?

WHY did you hire me if you have nothing for me to do?

[swanqween]

To former boss (retail) ((I wish a retail job upon my worst enemies!)):
Stop bouncing my paychecks, I have rent to pay that doesn't get paid with bounced paychecks! And then don't tell me I can come by and take the $ from the register to cover your bounced checks when you arrive before you tell me to get there & take the $ from the sales yourself & *still* don't cover your bounced checks!

Originally Posted by texgal

Give me something to do. PLEASE give me something to do.
WHY did you hire me if you have nothing for me to do?

Re: agree w/ above quote & ditto to owner of last office job:

Side note: that office job (15 min of excel work for a 9 hour LONG BORING day) is what prompted me to go back to school & finish my degree! I couldn't envision continuing on & on & on...

What I would have loved to say @ that place:

to idiot industrial customers: Do you understand the concept of 'lead time'? Can you *try* to understand that your order has to be MADE & is NOT sitting here collecting dust, therefore ***NO*** we cannot ship out to you tomorrow the order you placed yesterday that has a lead time of 4-6 weeks!!! Plan accordingly!!!!

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by AlphaFrog
Dang Kath, nice release, do you feel better??


Dear boss,

Get your own scanner and scan the freakin 20 page submittals yourself.

Thank you.

I do indeed. Hopefully I never have to work with this trainwreck again.

[tnxbutterfly]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Listen you insipid middle aged biznatch, I am here working as a FAVOR to the manager and I don't care if you got promoted TWO DAYS AGO you are not MY assistant manager and your behavior is WAAAAAAAAAAAAY THE HECK out of line and furthermore you are over 40 so WTF are you wearing bitch pants for, we don't want to see the line of your granny panties and DO NOT yell at me for wearing out of season footwear when you are wearing it too and ALSO sleeveless is not appropriate when you have armwaddle and IN ADDITION you talk too loud and the other employee is not your personal slave and I should NOT have to help all six customers while you stand there and try on shoes and chittychat with one of your whitetrashville friends. And how many side businesses do you need, miss Avon-PartyLite-LiaSophia? I'm sorry I make more money than your middle aged ass but maybe, just MAYBE, it is because a) I actually try and do work b) I apply myself c) I have aspirations in life greater than the mall.

Now I am going back to law school. I will not miss you and next time they ask me to come work for a few weeks as a FAVOR, I will ask if you have been fired yet. I sincerely hope for the sake of the company and all our nice customers that you have been.

<3,
GP

You work in retail,right? I feel your pain. If it wasn't for the fact that I need extra money to pay for my car, I so would not be working a Dillard's

On that note:

I know you're like a head cheese and whatnot,but if you don't know how to close the store, let one of the ASMs do it. That crap tonight was so out there. Dismissing us by level's? (we have 3 floors) Level 3,you're clear to shut down you're registers. Since when do we need government clearence? Bite Me ok.


I'm not your maid. It's fine if you want to try crap on,just put it back on the hanger when you're done. I'm sick and tired of going in to the dressing room and find clothes that you tried on just thrown on the floor.

Can I have a complete schedule for next month? Can you stop waiting till the last fricking minute to put the next month's schedule up? That's just annoying

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by tnxbutterfly
You work in retail,right? I feel your pain. If it wasn't for the fact that I need extra money to pay for my car, I so would not be working a Dillard's

Unfortunately yes. When I was in college I was a keyholder at a shoe store and I go back occasionally on breaks from law school to make some extra $$$.

[AlphaFrog]

You're a MORON. The guys already know that the old white shirts have polyester and are hot as crap. You don't need to tell them all about it. They are the same shirts we've had since before you worked here. AND THAT'S THE REASON THE NEW SHIRTS ARE 100% COTTON, ASSHAT. I know you think you're being helpful, but you really aren't everyone's mommy.