Down Low Brothas

[Intense1920]

I saw it and it started a discussion between me and my SO.

[StrangeFruit]

I don't understand why DL brothah's think they aren't gay/bisexual.

I joke with friends saying that the last question you need to ask brothahs is their name. There are more pressing questions we-black women need to ask, such as:


1. Are you Gay?
2. Are you Bisexual?
3. Do you have sex with men?
4. What is your status-HIV along with STDs.

And if you have to be graphic and specific:
5. Do you allow another man's genitals to ....(you know where I'm going with that)

Onto another area of importance
6. What is your credit score?


There are hundreds of other questions to ask, but I think those are the top six. After number five if you are satisfied with answers given you can proceed to "What is your name."

My friends and I laugh over this "joke," but I'm serious. It is dangerous out there and no one is going to look out for our physical health and financial health but us.

[nikki1920]

A Soror gave a WONDERFUL presentation re: DL men. She said that the numbers reported may actually be higher b/c a lot of Black and Latino men don't classify themselves as gay (think stereotypical "gay" behavior, ie, Antoine and Blaine from In Living Color), but have sex with men. To them there is a difference, especially if a man is the "reciever", so to speak.

I just think that women need to be as communicative as possible and to PROTECT themselves. Yeah, dingle is good, but aint no dingle good enough for me to risk my life/health b/c dude can't/won't/doesn't want to be honest with me.

Regardless of HOW HIV/AIDS is transmitted, it IS spreading. EDUCATION and TESTING (Can't stress that enough) are the best weapons we have to protect ourselves. IMO

ETA:
@ strangefruit:
there is a different language w/ in the gay and bisexual communities re: sexual behavior. MSM may have been assaulted in jail or what-have-you, but see themselves as heterosexual males. Its all in the terminology apparently.

and lol at the credit score question....

[delph998]

Originally posted by abaici
Unfortunately (well, I guess it was a good thing--I was so freaking naive when I went to college), my Spelman education featured an introduction of the "down low" brotha. A prof suggested we read E.Lynn Harris books. It was frightening yet, I'm glad I found out. There were/are just too many gay, "down low brothas" in Atlanta.

That's when my eyes were open as well. BUT it's scary, scary, scary.

I am a Heterosexual Man who does not want, need, nor seek the touch of a male. My ONLY choice is a woman. Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

Just a few tips for the ladies. I am tired of hearing DL Brothas being used as the main reason why AIDS is on the rise. Ladies, YOU, have to take responsibility for what goes on as far as your health is concerned.

Trust is one thing, but you can't simply be a passenger in your life and let someone take you for a ride.

1. Always use protection. It's just not safe anymore.

2. If he doesn't want to use protection, INSIST on getting a test every three months.

3. If you suspect that he is steppin out, with a male or female, stop having sex with him.

4. Talk about sex BEFORE you have sex. A lot of y'all wanna be spontaneous. Take time and find out about his practices before you "Get Busy".

5. It's OK to tell a man NO. It's your body. It's your perogative.

This 'discovery' of Black Men on the DL is another link in the unraveling of our Black Community. I will postulate on the exact ramifications but know that this is tearing us apart. Soon you will only have a few "choice" as far as mainstream thought is concerned to date.

Don't trust your man, Trust yourself.

[Intense1920]

Thank you for that laidbackfella.

[nikki1920]

Very well said, laidbackfella.

Women we HAVE to take control of our bodies..

[delph998]

Preach Laidbackfella!!!! What you said IS very true.

HOWEVER, there are MARRIED women who are getting infected with HIV/AIDS. I'm sorry, but I'm not trying to "protect" myself when I'm married. It's not suppose to go down that way. With the exception of getting tested constantly (even though I shouldn't have to do that either if I'm married) what else do you all suggest?

[ladygreek]

Originally posted by kiml122
Speaking of brothers on the DL, who say Law & Order SVU the other night. It was about this exact thing. It was funny with Ice-T breaking down the term DL.

Yeah, I had just explained the term to my white co-workers last week, and then yesterday one came up to me all excited saying he had seen SVU and told his teen son what DL meant before Ice-T explained.

I was so sad that the wife tested positive. The Michael Beech character needed to be whipped and strung up because he basically will have committed 2 murders.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by ladygreek
The Michael Beech character needed to be whipped and strung up because he basically will have committed 2 murders.

Michael Beach is forever in a role that causes him to cheat. . .

Waiting to Exhale
Soul Food
ER (he actually had AIDS in this role as a result of his cheating)

[abaici]

Originally posted by ladygreek
The Michael Beech character needed to be whipped and strung up because he basically will have committed 2 murders.

/hijack

Why is Michael Beach always playing a triflin man? I mean, this is the 2nd time he's given his wife AIDS on TV (remember ER?)

Oh, and don't forget Waiting to Exhale and Soul Food!! He needs a new agent or sumthin.

/end hijack

[ladygreek]

Originally posted by delph998
Preach Laidbackfella!!!! What you said IS very true.

HOWEVER, there are MARRIED women who are getting infected with HIV/AIDS. I'm sorry, but I'm not trying to "protect" myself when I'm married. It's not suppose to go down that way. With the exception of getting tested constantly (even though I shouldn't have to do that either if I'm married) what else do you all suggest?

Getting tested constantly is not the solution either, if you are going to keep doing the same risky behavior. All the test will do is tell you when you have run out of luck. Very honestly, if you don't know your man well enough to be absolutely sure about him, then you probaly don't need to marry him, much less have unprotected sex with him.

Before starting an intimate relationship with a man, the two of you should go TOGETHER and get tested, then share the results with each other. But you should still use condoms. Then if it gets to the point of marriage, take another test TOGETHER right before the wedding. After that you gotta have trust. BUT if at anytime things seem fishy--get those condoms back out and then take another test.

It's sad it has come down to this, but better safe than sorry.

[DELTABRAT]

Please tape and share this episode of oprah this Friday for sistahs who may be at work, etc., and may not be able to view this IMPORTANT EPISODE.

OPRAH PUTTIN’ DOWN LOW ON BLAST
Friday’s show to focus on black men with wives,
girlfriends and male sex partners, too

*It’s 2004 and the phrase “down low” has
gone way beyond the recognized sexual
indiscretions. The phrase has been
connected to a growing number of
African-American homosexual men,
in particular, who are living as heterosexuals,
popularized by the book by J. L. King
called “On the Down Low.”
The issue was the focus of a recent
episode of “Law & Order: SVU” and will now
be the topic of the “Oprah Winfrey Show”
on Friday.
Oprah will, in addition, recognize the
sensitive and urgency of the HIV/AIDS
issue with the episode titled “Living
on the Down Low”
“This show is important because
hopefully it will generate discussion and
awareness particularly in Black communities,”
said Phill Wilson, executive director of the Black
AIDS Institute, which is coordinating a national
HIV testing effort towards African Americans.
“At the end of the day, it’s the silence that
engines the AIDS epidemic in Black
communities.”

www.oprah.com

One man blows the lid off this sexual
underground.

Read the comments on the message board on oprah.com, as well.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE WATCH THE SHOW!!!

[delph998]

I will definitely watch this show!

[UpPinkies]

Originally posted by laidbackfella
I am a Heterosexual Man who does not want, need, nor seek the touch of a male. My ONLY choice is a woman. Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

Just a few tips for the ladies. I am tired of hearing DL Brothas being used as the main reason why AIDS is on the rise. Ladies, YOU, have to take responsibility for what goes on as far as your health is concerned.

Trust is one thing, but you can't simply be a passenger in your life and let someone take you for a ride.

1. Always use protection. It's just not safe anymore.

2. If he doesn't want to use protection, INSIST on getting a test every three months.

3. If you suspect that he is steppin out, with a male or female, stop having sex with him.

4. Talk about sex BEFORE you have sex. A lot of y'all wanna be spontaneous. Take time and find out about his practices before you "Get Busy".

5. It's OK to tell a man NO. It's your body. It's your perogative.

This 'discovery' of Black Men on the DL is another link in the unraveling of our Black Community. I will postulate on the exact ramifications but know that this is tearing us apart. Soon you will only have a few "choice" as far as mainstream thought is concerned to date.

Don't trust your man, Trust yourself.

I agree with you totally, except number two. The testing part is fine. My thing is if your not in a marriage or not trying to have a baby, then ALWAYS use protection. You can always walk away and in some cases walk away with your life. Sometimes I feel that people act like they will die/or the world will end if they don't get any.