Do Sisterfriends of OUR Sorority really want help?

[nikki25]

Originally posted by Eastcoast Sunshine:
I too have been a seriously striving sisterfriend since 1991. I remember back then when the "rules" were:

1) You don't tell anyone, not
even your Mom which organization
you are/were interested in

AND

2) Anything you needed to know would
be told to you if you were invited
to the interest meeting/tea

The members would know you were
interested if you attended their
programs, etc.....


All of the information that was acquired was from searching the library for general information. The interenet was not available. Everything else depended on (the interests/SF's) conduct, community service, grades, and other activities/hobbies....


Many times I have been a silent monitor but I have never forgotten what I have learned from back then

D I S C R E T I O N

and

H U M I L I T Y

There is so much information available on the web but the best advice comes from the Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc....

1)Keep up the grades, community
service

2)Get to know and support the
members at your school or in your
area

3)Keep your eyes and ears open for
the informational

4)BE READY..........IF YOU ARE
SELECTED, THEN ALL WILL BE
REVEALED TO YOU IN TIME

All of the advice given by the members has and continues to be greatly appreciated

We're on the same page. This is the exact thing I learned as well. Well said. Perhaps its a lesson our younger SFs will soak in a bit.

[BKchick]

Thanks a lot

[TotallyBlessed]

Hello, Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority,Inc. and fellow sisterfriends. I'm a new member to GC but after reading some of the posts placed by a few sf I had to comment. My mother always stressed to me that if you work hard for something/towards your goals the prize will be so much sweeter. Thats how I look at my pursuit of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. If you do the work for yourself you will appreciate it even more!

[princessbee21]

I just wanted to say that for some people it is difficult for them to accept being admonished. It's kind of like when you were little and your mom caught you with your hands in the cookie jar right before dinner...Anyhow, others can absorb the info and take it all in stride...For example, I posted a new topic asking for advice on pledging, and referred to myself as "an aspiring soror". I didn't think that this would be considered offensive, since I did say that I was aspiring, i.e. hoping, wishing, etc. My forum was closed and I received an informative posting saying that I should not refer to another SF as "soror" until I become one...I was like, oh, okay. I mean I didn't know and now I do...I don't understand why someone would get indignant with someone who has something that they want and is somewhere that they want to be? I hope I haven't been too longwinded
Thanks for all the great info!!

[reddnhott2020]

I have been on the hush for a while now. Just watching and learning. I learned in a relatively easy way (it could have been much, much worse) that DISCRETION is KEY, Learn it, Live it. And for the most part I have the wonderful members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated who are a part of GreekChat.com, to thank for "guiding" me in the right direction. I am grateful for those who have "checked" me, because you didn't have to do anything, you could have been silent and let continue to go astray, but you did not and for that I am truly grateful.
Thank you, Memberfriends of Greekchat.com


------------------
Discretion is Key
Learn it, Live it

[This message has been edited by reddnhott2020 (edited July 31, 2001).]

[InquiringMind]

Originally posted by novella000:
Question(s)...
Do any of my fellow SFs out there actually take time to ENJOY what they've learned? To enjoy the search? I enjoy sitting reading, wondering, and searching for more answers. I love getting tenured-first-hand opinions/advice from Members, but I sho' hate it if I am going to deny myself the privilege and sense of accomplishment I get from getting to know Alpha Kappa Alpha via my own research. Read and re-read those items, articles, excerpts from books, websites, etc. you've added to you research journal...

.....she was kind of surprised that anyone would be “all specific” about getting to know the history of the surrounding chapters, in addition to the one at her school. Alpha Kappa Alpha Incorporated is composed of hundreds of chapters folks… Then I have those SisterFriends who say to me “ ‘Vella, girl, you are just too serious, you don’t need to know all that… If I can’t ask, or a Member can’t tell me then I don’t need to know.” The History of Alpha Kappa Alpha is soooo complex, and those things that are readily tangible to us SisterFriends, at our current station, should be examined and re-examined with vigor... There is sooo much to know.
I want to know everything I can find… So that if the time comes when I am able to serve Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated as Member, I will have a firm grasp on Her Essence… I know that I couldn’t, if the honor we granted me, feel comfortable as a Member if I hadn’t first exerted my every personal effort to understand and relish in the gravity of every realm Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated that I could lay my eyes/hands/ears to.

Can anyone tell that I am excited?

novella, girl, I couldn't have said it any better myself!!

You know how it is when you're studying for a test and you've looked over your notes so many times that you're convinced that you know it? That is NOT the way that I am with my "collection." Every time I read and re-read all of my notes, little scribble marks, and highlighted sections on the things that I have gathered something new clicks inside my brain. I look over this stuff almost daily. And its not just the founders list, colors, and incorporation date--I have individual bios on the founders and the Supreme Basilei, information on the other chapters in my region (collecting more as we speak), and I'm working on compiling a list of all chapters in order. Why? Because "Inquiring Minds" want to know !!Now no one has told me that I have to do this, but if it has ANYTHING to do with Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and its available to me, I want it.

I'm not even sure if I will be able to apply this knowledge anytime soon, but that hasn't killed my desire to learn everything that I possibly can. Since day one, a spark has been lit. It's now grown into a flame and thankfully this time the fire dept. is no where around.......

A big THANK YOU to everyone that has kept that fire blazing--those who have helped directly (who may be reading this now and I don't know it) and to those on this board who have helped in so many ways indirectly.


------------------
"Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for developing me into a beautiful and talented woman. Thank you for being my protector and my guide.
And as I make my way along my journey, bless me with the wisdom to make intelligent choices."--TJ Butler

[CelestialBlu1]

Originally posted by princessbee21:
I just wanted to say that for some people it is difficult for them to accept being admonished. It's kind of like when you were little and your mom caught you with your hands in the cookie jar right before dinner...Anyhow, others can absorb the info and take it all in stride...For example, I posted a new topic asking for advice on pledging, and referred to myself as "an aspiring soror". I didn't think that this would be considered offensive, since I did say that I was aspiring, i.e. hoping, wishing, etc. My forum was closed and I received an informative posting saying that I should not refer to another SF as "soror" until I become one...I was like, oh, okay. I mean I didn't know and now I do...I don't understand why someone would get indignant with someone who has something that they want and is somewhere that they want to be? I hope I haven't been too longwinded
Thanks for all the great info!!

whether someone has something that you want or not...it doesn't give them the right to disrespect you and expect you to just be like oh...i have no respect for myself anyways so its o.k...a loving chide is one thing...overt nastiness and blatant disrespct is a whole different issue...that is where problems arise...



[This message has been edited by CelestialBlu1 (edited July 28, 2001).]

[SweetestDiva]

Originally posted by CelestialBlu1:
whether someone has something that you want or not...it doesn't give them the right to disrespect you and expect you to just be like oh...i have no respect for myself anyways so its o.k...a loving chide is one thing...overt nastiness and blatant disrespct is a whole different issue...that is where problems arise...
[This message has been edited by CelestialBlu1 (edited July 28, 2001).]

Celestial... is today not a good day for you? Nobody was overtly nasty or blatantly disrespectful, if you review the first post PrincessBee made. She was politely corrected, NOT by a member, but another SF. I read the posts every day, and I thought PrincessBee's post was simply humble, not self-degrading or self-oppressive in any way - a pleasant change from some folks who can't stand being corrected. Why is it that the positive nature of the boards always has to be disrupted? Can we as SFs not be happy when another SF has obviously learned what is an important lesson? Really... it's not that crucial. Let it go.

[Talaxe]

I appreciate the help and advice offered by memberfriends. I realize that helping a sisterfriend is not obligatory for those who are members. It appalls me that a sisterfriend may "snap" back at a member's comment because they feel that it was negative towards them. Keep in mind that all replies do not warrant a response. Just take the replies and the "no comments" with a grain of salt and move on. Consider it a learning experience. Humility is not a bad word and does take some getting used to!

[LikeASista]

Greetings to all my gorgeous and beautiful sorors, and hello to all my noble and seriously striving sisterfriends. It's been a while since I've posted. So much has happened in my life these past few months, but later for that. I've spent hours reading all four pages of this particular topic, and instead of wasting time giving a formal greeting (with hopes of a proper "welcome back" from everybody), I simply HAD to finally comment.

I'm really surprised at what I'm reading in the posts from many sisterfriends. I'm a little disturbed when I read here that many have asked advice from this member or that member of MY sorority through GreekChat. I first gained interest in Alpha Kappa Alpha back in 1996. While the internet was accessible to me, I don't recall one single person from this site or any other one actually HELPING me gain membership into this illustrious Sorority. For starters, I dared not use the internet as my resource for obtaining membership into Alpha Kappa Alpha. It was just unheard of. Though I enjoyed hanging out at some Alpha Kappa Alpha sites that catered to establishing friendships between members and non-members alike, I always managed to keep my questions, comments, statements, and whatever else as UN-Alpha Kappa Alpha as I possibly could. I think the closest I ever came to asking any questions about Alpha Kappa Alpha as a non-member was when I asked for opinions from members of the Sorority regarding a particular issue regarding racism. I never got slammed for asking the wrong questions, because I simply avoided that area altogether. Whatever questions I had about the Sorority at all were held deep within me until I developed a friendship with someone here, close to home, withIN the CHAPTER of the Sorority whom I felt comfortable confiding in. Neither would I let my interests be known to them until we had an established friendship beyond a shadow of a doubt (... and mind you, I kept a very small number of memberfriends at the time). I think the only time I've gotten close to being slammed by a member was AFTER I became a member myself, because I was so overzealous I had to be put in check. (That actually happened right here on this board. ) Was I offended? Of course not!! I took it in love, and accepted it as an ACT of love.

Sisterfriends, you gotta understand that the boards are cool places to hang out, but you can only aspire for the chapter in your particular area. Members of THAT chapter are the ones you should be establishing connections with. If you cannot get close enough to one of them to ask questions DISCRETELY and with HUMILITY, what good would it do you to come on a public forum and ask help from people you can't even SEE? Sorors on this board come from all OVER the place!! There's no GENERAL chapter for us to help you gain membership into. So, your focus should be in observing and supporting the chapter that you actually have access to, whether it be undergraduate or graduate.

Remember, it's not only about discretion, ... but also a matter of taste. Sisterfriends, I respect each and every one of you because I used to BE you. I know the zeal of TRYING to become a member, just as I know the zeal of BECOMING a member. But, please, use some tact, ... use some common sense, ... use your own God-given wisdom to know that Alpha Kappa Alpha is not going to be GIVEN to anyone. I can understand the fear of approaching a member face to face, ... but wouldn't you be glad that my soror can respect you for doing THAT, as opposed to hiding behind a message board anonymously?

------------------
No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for I am a child of the Most High God, Who sits upon the Throne of Grace, and rules all Heaven and Earth.

[LikeASista]

Greetings to all my gorgeous and beautiful sorors, and hello to all my noble and seriously striving sisterfriends. It's been a while since I've posted. So much has happened in my life these past few months, but later for that. I've spent hours reading all four pages of this particular topic, and instead of wasting time giving a formal greeting (with hopes of a proper "welcome back" from everybody), I simply HAD to finally comment.

I'm really surprised at what I'm reading in the posts from many sisterfriends. I'm a little disturbed when I read here that many have asked advice from this member or that member of MY sorority through GreekChat. I first gained interest in Alpha Kappa Alpha back in 1996. While the internet was accessible to me, I don't recall one single person from this site or any other one actually HELPING me gain membership into this illustrious Sorority. For starters, I dared not use the internet as my resource for obtaining membership into Alpha Kappa Alpha. It was just unheard of. Though I enjoyed hanging out at some Alpha Kappa Alpha sites that catered to establishing friendships between members and non-members alike, I always managed to keep my questions, comments, statements, and whatever else as UN-Alpha Kappa Alpha as I possibly could. I think the closest I ever came to asking any questions about Alpha Kappa Alpha as a non-member was when I asked for opinions from members of the Sorority regarding a particular issue regarding racism. I never got slammed for asking the wrong questions, because I simply avoided that area altogether. Whatever questions I had about the Sorority at all were held deep within me until I developed a friendship with someone here, close to home, withIN the CHAPTER of the Sorority whom I felt comfortable confiding in. Neither would I let my interests be known to them until we had an established friendship beyond a shadow of a doubt (... and mind you, I kept a very small number of memberfriends at the time). I think the only time I've gotten close to being slammed by a member was AFTER I became a member myself, because I was so overzealous I had to be put in check. (That actually happened right here on this board. ) Was I offended? Of course not!! I took it in love, and accepted it as an ACT of love.

Sisterfriends, you gotta understand that the boards are cool places to hang out, but you can only aspire for the chapter in your particular area. Members of THAT chapter are the ones you should be establishing connections with. If you cannot get close enough to one of them to ask questions DISCRETELY and with HUMILITY, what good would it do you to come on a public forum and ask help from people you can't even SEE? Sorors on this board come from all OVER the place!! There's no GENERAL chapter for us to help you gain membership into. So, your focus should be in observing and supporting the chapter that you actually have access to, whether it be undergraduate or graduate.

Remember, it's not only about discretion, ... but also a matter of taste. Sisterfriends, I respect each and every one of you because I used to BE you. I know the zeal of TRYING to become a member, just as I know the zeal of BECOMING a member. But, please, use some tact, ... use some common sense, ... use your own God-given wisdom to know that Alpha Kappa Alpha is not going to be GIVEN to anyone. I can understand the fear of approaching a member face to face, ... but wouldn't you be glad that my soror can respect you for doing THAT, as opposed to hiding behind a message board anonymously?

------------------
No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for I am a child of the Most High God, Who sits upon the Throne of Grace, and rules all Heaven and Earth.

[CelestialBlu1]

Originally posted by SweetestDiva:
Celestial... is today not a good day for you? Nobody was overtly nasty or blatantly disrespectful, if you review the first post PrincessBee made. She was politely corrected, NOT by a member, but another SF. I read the posts every day, and I thought PrincessBee's post was simply humble, not self-degrading or self-oppressive in any way - a pleasant change from some folks who can't stand being corrected. Why is it that the positive nature of the boards always has to be disrupted? Can we as SFs not be happy when another SF has obviously learned what is an important lesson? Really... it's not that crucial. Let it go.

i was speaking generally...and was not referring to anyones specific situation(s)...let what go???

[This message has been edited by CelestialBlu1 (edited July 29, 2001).]

[SweetestDiva]

Originally posted by CelestialBlu1:
i was speaking generally...and was not referring to anyones specific situation(s)...let what go???

[This message has been edited by CelestialBlu1 (edited July 29, 2001).]

Forgive me if I misinterpreted... had you not quoted another post and then commented on the main points of it, I may have entertained the thought that it was simply general.

[This message has been edited by SweetestDiva (edited July 29, 2001).]

[CelestialBlu1]

Originally posted by SweetestDiva:
Forgive me if I misinterpreted... had you not quoted another post and then commented on the main points of it, I may have entertained the thought that it was simply general.

[This message has been edited by SweetestDiva (edited July 29, 2001).]

peace and many blessings...

[Sexy Mocha]

I had to bring this back up...
Based on some recent experiences, I'd have to give a resounding NO to the original question. I think sisterfriends want our help...but only when and if it's convenient for them. I find myself shaking my head at some interests.