sister who wants to deactivate to join another sorority

[sageofages]

Originally posted by DGMarie
If you terminate your membership from DG, you can never, EVER join DG again. Ever.

Fortunately that is NOT the case with Phi Mu. When a member relinquishes her membership, she has voluntarily withdrawn her membership for any number of reasons. Should she come to her senses in later years, she can petition to the National Council for reinstatement. I know...I recently helped a sister find her way home. It was a joyous moment for us.

If a member is dismissed from membership, usually she can not reinstate her membership. National Council always has the final decision.

[MiAngel711]

Say this DOES happen: A girl transfers to her new school and the new rules state that she can join another NPC since her new school doesn't have XYZ. She joins ABC, but then her a chapter of XYZ colonizes at her school. What happens then? I'm wondering if that's the reason NPC's going to give for not changing the rules.

Well I have to admit the chances of that happening compared to the more common senarios I was speaking of in my post are slim to none. But the thing is she FORMALLY withdrew her affilation to XYZ, it doesn't really matter what her status is with XYZ since she is NOW an ABC.

In the hypothetical contract, her conditions for release would be to remain silent about her "sacred" knowledge of XYZ and to never be a part of it again no matter what. She may feel that her orginal loyality lies with XYZ but she gave up the privledge of being one to be an ABC. We should also understand, abeit precious and extremely important, our organizations are so much more than the secret rituals and meaning. They make it "special" for us to unify with our sisters under a common ideal and shared experience. But they were NOT the primary reason why social sororities were founded. Because if it was really all about that...I should be able to know the ideals of the sorority before joining, right? And I hold my sorority initation very dear, but it will never hold a candle to any religious ceremony I choose to particpate in.

I'm sure there is a reason, beyond what I am proposing, why NPC sees the one memeber ship rule...but the only way to be a lasting insitution is to change with the times. Even Christianty has evolved and it has God on its side.

[wbcm]

Hey thanks everybody for responding, i was generally wondering where you all would put your loyality, more so than the npc rules. she was thinking of leaving npc to join a local sorority so the rules would not have applied to her. i was just hoping if anybody had gone through a similar situation if they could share it.

[33girl]

Originally posted by wbcm
Hey thanks everybody for responding, i was generally wondering where you all would put your loyality, more so than the npc rules. she was thinking of leaving npc to join a local sorority so the rules would not have applied to her. i was just hoping if anybody had gone through a similar situation if they could share it.

On the same campus or a different campus? If she's transferring and will probably not be in contact with her NPC anymore that's one thing. But if she wants to quit, after being an active sister, and join another social sorority (local, national, regional, whatever) on her same campus that's another story. Not cool.

As to being able to quit one NPC and join another -

I think one of the reasons we have this rule and NIC doesn't is the same reason we have tons of rush rules and NIC doesn't. One of the tenets of NPC is to look out for other NPC groups and help each other. (In theory, anyway.)

I sympathize with people who have been hazed and people in the transfer situation...I just feel that it's a slippery slope. Not everyone has good intentions and there would be people pulling isht on their chapters like "well, they hazed me, I want to join another group" when it's not true, and people transferring solely to switch sororities (I can especially see this happening in the South).

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by wbcm
Hey thanks everybody for responding, i was generally wondering where you all would put your loyality, more so than the npc rules. she was thinking of leaving npc to join a local sorority so the rules would not have applied to her. i was just hoping if anybody had gone through a similar situation if they could share it.

We terminated a sister from Gamma Phi Beta. She then joined one of the locals. She's an alum of them now because she got kicked out of school.

[PsychTau]

Originally posted by 33girl
As to being able to quit one NPC and join another -

I think one of the reasons we have this rule and NIC doesn't is the same reason we have tons of rush rules and NIC doesn't. One of the tenets of NPC is to look out for other NPC groups and help each other. (In theory, anyway.)

I sympathize with people who have been hazed and people in the transfer situation...I just feel that it's a slippery slope. Not everyone has good intentions and there would be people pulling isht on their chapters like "well, they hazed me, I want to join another group" when it's not true, and people transferring solely to switch sororities (I can especially see this happening in the South).

From MY experience (being female, I can say this!), I think the extra rules we have in NPC (versus NIC) is because women are more concerned with their "appearance" and "status" (popularity) in "society" (in this case, the campus). On some campuses, if you don't get a bid everyone knows and your social life is non-existant...so some may choose to take a bid and hope to switch groups later (of course, NPC prevents that). I think that's why we also have all these recruitment rules, total, quota, silence, and all that stuff. We females can be very catty and underhanded!!! Guys (in general) just don't operate quite on the same level.

Sure in some places, the sororities can operate and thrive under NIC guidelines. But in other places, it would be nasty.

Also, as someone else has shared earlier, we on GreekChat are not necessarily representive of the whole GLO population. We're here and we join into these discussions because we see our GLO and Greek Life as something more serious. Not everyone is as interested in it as we are. There are some people who see it as a college thing only....and when they leave college, they sever all ties and start with a new social life somewhere else. Doesn't mean they didn't contribute while they were in college. Just a different outlook on things.

/ramble
PsychTau

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

<The views below are mine and mine alone. They in NO way represent any official Gamma Phi Beta position>

As someone who transferred to another school (and knows a number of other women who have done the same thing) I do not agree that transfer students should be able to join a new group just becasue they pick a school that doesn't have their GLO. BAD reason, choose a school that has your GLO if it's that important.

And before any of you jump down my throat, I have not always thought that Gamma Phi was a wonderful organization.

When I was a pledge, our chapter had about 30-50 women on a campus where total was over 100. My freshman year was spent listening to why or why not we should continue at that campus. If you have never been a part of that discussion, it is not something I would ever wish on my worst enemy. We prided ourselves on the fact that we were small and had a great sisterhood. However, that experience pitted sister against and got ugly at times. And yes, the chapter did close.

But, I was a pledge for a YEAR. I had ample opportunity to leave Gamma Phi. BUT I DIDN'T.

I transferred midway through my sophomore year (totally grade related) and came home to regroup. 1.5 years later I transferred to another 4 year college and of the 3 schools I looked at, 2 had Gamma Phi chapters. I visited UPS and the Gamma Phi house and that is where I finally ended up. And I had a wonderful time.

I consider it LUCK that I am still a Gamma Phi (lucky they kept me at some times). My experience as a freshman could have soured me for the whole organization (and it did for a short amount of time) but I got over it. Even the women who went through total hell over the chapter closing still remained Gamma Phis. I am now more involved as a Gamma Phi than I ever was and even though at times I feel burned out, I don't see my involvement changing anytime soon.

Am I that loyal to anything else? NO (family excluded)

And as for the women who are hazed, well they aren't the ones who should leave the organization.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by wbcm
Hey thanks everybody for responding, i was generally wondering where you all would put your loyality, more so than the npc rules. she was thinking of leaving npc to join a local sorority so the rules would not have applied to her. i was just hoping if anybody had gone through a similar situation if they could share it.

You like this? Ask a question, get 7 pages of answers

As a member of a fraternity, I realize I come from a different world. If another organization has low enough standards to take someone that we had no use for, then more power to 'em.

In my eyes, someone that was actually initiated into another fraternity is "damaged goods".

[Glitterkitty]

Originally posted by 33girl
On the same campus or a different campus? If she's transferring and will probably not be in contact with her NPC anymore that's one thing. But if she wants to quit, after being an active sister, and join another social sorority (local, national, regional, whatever) on her same campus that's another story. Not cool.

As to being able to quit one NPC and join another -

I think one of the reasons we have this rule and NIC doesn't is the same reason we have tons of rush rules and NIC doesn't. One of the tenets of NPC is to look out for other NPC groups and help each other. (In theory, anyway.)

I sympathize with people who have been hazed and people in the transfer situation...I just feel that it's a slippery slope. Not everyone has good intentions and there would be people pulling isht on their chapters like "well, they hazed me, I want to join another group" when it's not true, and people transferring solely to switch sororities (I can especially see this happening in the South).

That's why I think, if it were to be allowed, there would have to be restrictions and a process. Also-it would have to be known to the second organization. They'd have to take it into consideration and make their own decision. It sould still be a mutual selection process. Some chapters may decide yes, some may decide no. I think its about choice. There should be rules-yes. But there should be appeals processes and exceptions with limitations in almost every situation. Just MO.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by ktsnake
In my eyes, someone that was actually initiated into another fraternity is "damaged goods".

I'm guessing you mean to add "and then leaves that org and tries to join another"........

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
I'm guessing you mean to add "and then leaves that org and tries to join another"........

It'd be funnier if he meant everyone that is initiated into a fraternity.

I think think the important thing here is that we all follow the rules, whether we like them or not. Yeah, I don't like what happened to transfer students, but I'm also not rushing again. I think I'll enjoy my Alumnae Chapter more once I am 21.

[carnation]

Originally posted by 33girl


I sympathize with people who have been hazed and people in the transfer situation...I just feel that it's a slippery slope. Not everyone has good intentions and there would be people pulling isht on their chapters like "well, they hazed me, I want to join another group" when it's not true, and people transferring solely to switch sororities (I can especially see this happening in the South).

Amen.

Why are we having this discussion again anyway? Here's what always happens:

1. The discussion gets heated. Again.
2. Carnation or another big-university alum comes on and confirms that people would abuse this, especially in the South.
3. Someone then comes on and says the sorority members in the South are racist, sexist, antifeminist, allother ist because of this.
4. Flame war starts in earnest.

If you transfer and your friends are all Alpha Betas, why do you have to wear their letters to hang with them? And especially at a competitive university--why would you want to take the pledge spot that someone else who's never pledged could have?

If not being able to pledge a second group is the worst thing that happens in your college life, count yourself lucky.

[33girl]

I did not mean that comment as negative toward the South in ANY way...it is just a fact that sorority connections are taken more seriously there than at other places and ergo, people would be more motivated to make the "right" ones.

This happens in other facets of life too - such as people taking a lower job in a prestigious company just so they can say they work at that company, or athletes transferring to a football or baseball "powerhouse" high school where they know recruiters will be hanging around more than Bad Athlete High where they should be going.

[GeekyPenguin]

People break the rule up here all the time at big schools. It's not just the South that would have a problem. It's definitely a problem at Wisconsin, Indiana, Illinois, etc - anywhere where people transfer from a smaller school to a larger one where their NPC isn't.

[carnation]

Oh, 33girl--I know you weren't being ugly!, No offense taken and I think you're right. What I object to is when people start insulting Southerners because we do take recruitment and membership seriously. There's no need for those folks to flame us!