IU PNM Numbers - Page 7

DubaiSis · #1 01-14-2015, 01:57 PM

Or here's an option. She should absolutely put her legacy chapter first. There is a black and white answer for you.

(This answer has absolutely nothing to do with anything and should be utterly disregarded, but seemed like the answer that was sought. In real life I would rank based on your daughter's actual real life preferences. Most, but I am not prepared to say all, NPC sororities, if a chapter invites her to preference parties are required to put her in their top bid list, therefore guaranteeing her a space. That being said a lot LOT of legacies get cut the round just before preference because while they may like her enough to offer her a bid, they may not want to have to put her on that top list. The days when legacies were a shoo in have passed, maybe 10 or 15 years ago)

pinksequins · #2 01-14-2015, 02:31 PM

LIG, please really consider the following. We do not know you outside of your posts and, unfortunately, they are becoming more about your injured feelings than about your daughter. From what we can discern, your daughter doesn't have hurt feelings and is progressing well in a very challenging recruitment! Excellent! Stepping back is to extricate your sensitivities from hers so that you can listen and help without clouded judgment. Deep breaths, and if you have a Trader Joe's nearby, the Gypsy Chariot is actually quite good.

FloMo Mom · #3 01-18-2015, 11:37 AM

Please come back and give us an update on IU recruitment!

IndianaSigKap · #4 01-18-2015, 12:03 PM

There is nothing to update yet. Preference begins in a bit. Bid Day isn't until Tuesday.

Cheerio · #5 01-19-2015, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap

There is nothing to update yet. Preference begins in a bit. Bid Day isn't until Tuesday.

Tuesday Night is Bid Night at IU.

Sorry to keep you on the edge of your bar seats all day...

scrabblemomb · #6 01-20-2015, 03:56 AM

My daughter is a Freshman who has gone through Rush for the past few weeks. After reading the blogs online, I was dreading the possibility that she wouldn't get a bid on bid night. She had a pretty good and full rush. On Saturday, she said that she didn't feel a connection with any of the chapters she saw that day. I encouraged her to stay with it, and after Sunday it was not any better for her so she dropped. Do I think that there was a possible fit for her somewhere in the Greek system? Yes. But I am happy that she did what was right for her, and didn't settle for a group that wasn't right for her. Yes. On some of the blogs, girls were calling those who dropped early "brats" because they didn't get what they wanted. I am actually proud of my daughter for knowing that what was offered was not for her. There is so much beyond this at IU. Encourage your daughters to go for all that is offered beyond Greek Life!

33girl · #7 01-20-2015, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrabblemomb

On some of the blogs, girls were calling those who dropped early "brats" because they didn't get what they wanted.

If we read the same blog, the reason the girls were being called "brats" is because they rejected the currently unhoused chapters out of hand "because they wanted the house experience." One one hand I agree; on the other hand, if a girl is going to be pining and whining and not able to let it go, better for them to drop. I think the girls who said that are trying to be Panhellenic and support the currently unhoused groups, but what they might not get is that if you are in a chapter that's outside the "top" you need people to be all in and happy and proud with what they have. Girls who are only there because any letters were better than no letters don't help the chapter with growth or retention.

tlynn · #8 01-20-2015, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrabblemomb

My daughter is a Freshman who has gone through Rush for the past few weeks. After reading the blogs online, I was dreading the possibility that she wouldn't get a bid on bid night. She had a pretty good and full rush. On Saturday, she said that she didn't feel a connection with any of the chapters she saw that day. I encouraged her to stay with it, and after Sunday it was not any better for her so she dropped. Do I think that there was a possible fit for her somewhere in the Greek system? Yes. But I am happy that she did what was right for her, and didn't settle for a group that wasn't right for her. Yes. On some of the blogs, girls were calling those who dropped early "brats" because they didn't get what they wanted. I am actually proud of my daughter for knowing that what was offered was not for her. There is so much beyond this at IU. Encourage your daughters to go for all that is offered beyond Greek Life!

Scrabblemomb - first, I totally agree that iUs recruitment is messed up. I will not argue with you there. And I'm totally fine with your daughter doing what's best for her, but I think it's good for women to finish the process and go to preference round even if they think it's not a good fit. No one is forced to sign a preference card after the round. it may be their only chance to go Greek at IU so why not see it out. Just as PNMs get mad at sororities for cutting them after only a few conversations, the same could be said to girls who refuse to move forward bc they don't know these chapters very well either and many are basing decisions on reputations from that same website that calls them "brats" for dropping out. Also, many of the women in those chapters were in your daughters shoes, yet made a different choice and are happy. Btw, stay off that site, it's toxic! I don't think girls who drop out are brats but I do think they are making decisions based on feeling hurt or disappointed rather than seeing the big picture, but I totally agree it's their choice.

My daughter listed 3 houses on her card and will pledge any of the 3 if she is fortunate to receive a bid. She's a sophomore so she probably has a different perspective on recruitment and the chapters than a freshman, but has decided she wants to be Greek for the sisterhood experiences and campus experiences such as iudm and little 5 where she said the Greeks just seem to be having more fun.

Best wishes to your daughter. There is a lot to offer at IU and I hope she finds what she's looking for.

wsucalsigmakapp · #9 01-20-2015, 01:51 PM

I am glad your daughter is looking outside Greek life if that is what she thinks will make her happy. I think everyone would agree that a large school like Indiana has so much to offer every student!

I personally think that the term you used "settle for," is not a good one. I can't imagine that any group with 100+ members would be a group to settle for, to me 100+ members sounds like a thriving organization! With that many different women, I personally think every woman going through recruitment could click with a group of ladies within the chapter. As a sorority woman, I was never best friends with every woman in my chapter, and I did not have a connection with them all. It is hard to connect with 125 different women. And this is the same for everyone I know personally. But I was lucky enough to have found a core group of wonderful friends in my chapter. I really believe that if given the chance, an individual could fit in with many different chapters on a campus not just the ones they really felt a connection with during recruitment. I know I would have been happy as a member of many different organizations at my university.

I do wish your daughter the best, and hope she finds something to connect her to the University that she enjoys!

Eureka_mo · #10 01-20-2015, 04:22 PM

I am a newbie - I am a mom who has never been in a sorority and really had no clue about the process until recently. My daughter is a freshman at IU and just went through rush. I have a lot of thoughts (good and bad) about the Greek system at IU. While being selective can be a good thing, the system at IU seems very broken to me. I have read back through YEARS of posts calling for IU to improve the recruitment process. Either no one is listening or no one cares. It seems to me that adding live-in space for houses is a no-brainer. Supply and demand. Could it be that IU would miss out on revenue from housing? Just a thought...

Some background: My daughter transferred to IU this semester, so while she transferred in with a 3.25 GPA, I don't think the houses could see it. I believe the GPA info was given to her RG as "above" the requirement. She came from high school with a 3.4 GPA, four year cheerleader, student council, various clubs. As students at IU go, I think she's on par with the norm. Being an IU student has been her goal for several years. Being in a sorority was a huge part of the picture for her.

Recruitment went like this:
22 round - some clear favorites; had two rec letters for one house
16 round - only received eight houses: three very promising possibilities, one "wait and see", and three "un-housed"
9 round - received four houses; one she felt a connection with and (again) the same three un-housed
Preference - received three (again the un-housed)
Bid - who knows? Bids come tonight.

I have been up and down with her emotionally through this process. As I have been reading though this thread, I see some criticism of girls who get bids but choose not to pledge. After talking with my daughter and trying to help her explore her options, I believe that is the route she will take. Ultimately it is her decision, but her words to me were "I shouldn't pledge to a house that I don't feel comfortable in. It wouldn't be right." I am supporting her decision, whatever it may be. Part of maturing is making your own decisions and living with the consequences, good and bad.

She says she will try recruitment again, and she has a plan of action (raise GPA, find activities and groups on campus to join, ask for more rec letters, etc.) If it were me, I don't think I'd have the strength to do it again. I applaud her for not giving up on her goal. I am so proud of her.

Thanks to all who post their stories here, it's nice to know that she's not alone. Best of luck to all the PNMs, with or without bids. And thanks for letting me vent!

als463 · #11 01-20-2015, 04:40 PM

This seems to happen every year. We continue to hear the same stories. Daughter with (seemingly) good GPA and looks goes through recruitment and does not like that she doesn't get accepted back to her top choice houses. Then, daughter decides she just doesn't "connect" or "see herself" in those houses and drops. Daughter or mother then comes to GC and tells everyone that everything will be okay and the girl is better off not taking a bid from a chapter she believes she is too good for (generally the unhoused chapters now) but, everything will change next year should she decide to go back through recruitment. Cue the complaints about the bed quota and how IU is just so unfair. That's a synopsis of what is seen every year.

Though my organization is not one of the unhoused chapters, I will say that no chapter at IU is a bad chapter. In all honesty, I feel bad for the ladies who go through and do not get a bid, as I understand that can happen at IU. Girls who just drop out in a recruitment that is so cut-throat that any chapter would be a blessing, do not make me feel bad. Also, I'm going to agree with other posters who corrected the one woman who believed her daughter would be "settling" for a chapter. At IU, no one just "settles" for a chapter.

thetalady · #12 01-20-2015, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eureka_mo

Recruitment went like this:
22 round - some clear favorites; had two rec letters for one house
16 round - only received eight houses: three very promising possibilities, one "wait and see", and three "un-housed"
9 round - received four houses; one she felt a connection with and (again) the same three un-housed
Preference - received three (again the un-housed)
Bid - who knows? Bids come tonight.

I have been up and down with her emotionally through this process. As I have been reading though this thread, I see some criticism of girls who get bids but choose not to pledge. After talking with my daughter and trying to help her explore her options, I believe that is the route she will take. Ultimately it is her decision, but her words to me were "I shouldn't pledge to a house that I don't feel comfortable in. It wouldn't be right." I am supporting her decision, whatever it may be. Part of maturing is making your own decisions and living with the consequences, good and bad.

She says she will try recruitment again, and she has a plan of action (raise GPA, find activities and groups on campus to join, ask for more rec letters, etc.) If it were me, I don't think I'd have the strength to do it again. I applaud her for not giving up on her goal. I am so proud of her.

Do you mean that she went to Pref at the 3 unhoused chapters, then signed the MRABA after Pref, but will choose not to accept a bid from any of them, should she receive one today?

Please tell me that this is NOT what is happening today....

33girl · #13 01-20-2015, 08:34 PM

If she signed a bid card, she is bound for a year if any of the sororities she put down gives her a bid so she might as well try it out.

What makes me

at the IU discussions here, there and everywhere on the intraweb is the parents who on one hand are saying how horrible the current system is and how rude and awful the school and the sorority members and Panhel are to not fix it NOW, and then in the next keystroke are completely buying into the concept of the currently unhoused chapters being "less than" and supporting their daughter's choice to just say forget it if that's the 3 chapters she has left.

Katmandu · #14 01-20-2015, 08:52 PM

^^^^ this.

You cannot condemn the system and at the same time buy uncritically into all of its worst stereotypes. Housing does not make a sisterhood, even at unique snowflake universities, no matter what everyone says. And I went to a school where chapter houses were a BIG DEAL. But I found out recently that one of the up and coming Christian sororities (unhoused) on my campus has upwards of 130 members..... Gorgeous, active, would be welcomed into all of the "traditional" sororities on campus, but the girls were given a different hand of cards and are playing them. Like I said, housing doesn't make a sisterhood.

DubaiSis · #15 01-20-2015, 05:09 PM

And then cue the "that's not what I said or what I mean and you old biddies on GC are just mean." But we all know ALL of the euphemisms. And in case you were wondering, the 3 categories you went with were good, meh and unhoused. Or in other words, good, medium and bad. And any attempt to revise that statement will just be back-pedaling and trying to not sound superior.

Your daughter is more than welcome to try again next year, and she may well have a better outcome next go round. But don't pretend you weren't saying what you really were. If she wants a house and is willing to wait another year and risk no sorority experience at all, then that's great. But don't call it "not fitting in" or "connection." Those chapters are huge; she'd have found plenty of gals to connect with.