Domestic Violence

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

12KBetaMu's post to AlphaFrog in the D&R Random thread:



This is another instance of subjectivity. There are people who would consider what AlphaFrog did to be "putting up with it" because they think that that people should always leave and never return. Once an abuser always an abuser. This opinion is held by many people who have been the victims of domestic violence, been the perpetrators of domestic violence, are the associates of victims and perpetrators of domestic violence, and people who have no immediate association with domestic violence.

Like you said, it does depend on the situation and the people but there remain commonalities. That is why there are well-known pre-determinants, predictors, and precipitators that apply more often than not. People (and situations) are not as unique and different as we think they are.

Folks who say dude can't change, I'm not feeling that. Folks can change for the better just as folks can change for the worse. I don't know AlphaFrog's entire situation, but it doesn't matter what kind of decision she made, I'm looking at the fact that she made one, which I applaud. She didn't just sit in the shit and do nothing. Is dude going to do the shit again? Has he done the shit again? I don't know. Only she knows that. But there are females (and I say females because even though it works both ways, females are usually the victims) who would do nothing and just put up with the shit. I can't get with that, unless it's some shit that KSigRC metioned in his post. And then there are some females who have never been a victim, never grew up in it, and would bounce from being slapped or punched, pushed or whatever the first time it happens. Some folks mean what they say and say what they mean. I applaud those females, too. But for the females who are emotionally stable enough to bounce if it continues to happen, I gotta put them at fault for staying in the shit. Dude can't make her stay. In fact, dude can't make her do shit she doesn't want to do. It just depends on background and the individual person.

[knight_shadow]

Doesn't really fall under the "domestic violence" umbrella, but...

Has anyone seen the video of the woman who got punched on the bus in Cleveland?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-dRSqJRI_Y

This is another instance of not getting in someone's face (male or female) unless you're prepared to fight that person.

[Kevin]

On the one hand, I don't feel sorry for her. She put her hands on a public employee, a bus driver, no less, who is charged with the safety of everyone on that bus. On the other hand, the bus driver should be fired. It's not his place to use force like that. Call the police.

Both should be charged criminally.

[33girl]

I could understand if the bus had been moving and he shoved her out of the way because he was afraid of an accident...that would be an understandable involuntary reflex...but the bus was stopped dude, call the police and have them haul her away.