Where are all the Potential PNMs?

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

I have to disagree.
The only time I knew who was going to college was when my daughter was a senior in high school.
It's much more helpful to get lists from the chapters of who has signed up, plus whatever info they have via their Panhellenic. I don't live in a tiny town, but it's big enough that I don't know everybody.

I probably worded my post to sound a bit extreme. I agree that as alums we are usually only as good as the info we are given. But I have never been given a list of who has signed up for recruitment. Now, an organized alum group might do that...and they should, but in areas where that does not occur, I think alums need to communicate that they are available and willing to help.

I grew up in a city with a highly organized panhellenic organization. Women called pnms to offer to write recs (actually they called my mother) as much as pnms (or their moms) called women during the rec process. But now that I live in a much, much smaller town, I make it well known that I can write recs and often give girls a call who are going to a campus with a Greek system to let them know I am available to help.

Maybe the "lesson" in this thread is that the girls from small towns -especially those heading to large competitive recruitments, need the alums in those towns to step up and do more than just write a rec when asked. They need to spread the word that there is Greek help available in that town. I have a master list of all sorority women in the area (that I know of) to give to pnms. So many young girls from my area don't even know where to start. And, I can't tell you how many have called me in August! aah!

There might not be an organized group in many areas, but (imo) this is a way the alum can serve her GLO and NPC as a whole.

[Meow190]

[QUOTE=agzg;1824997]
At my undergrad you'd be looked at like you were trying too hard if you have people sending in recs. My organization's legacy introduction form was the only form I saw as a collegian. This is particularly true of non-competitive, northern deferred recruitment, because if the school is small enough chances are sorority members already know a fair amount about you before you go through recruitment (including any salacious details, true or not, about who you slept with that's a member of what fraternity/campus organization).


I go to exactly this sort of school, and I've been told that I dont NEED recs, but the girl I was talking to never said anything about having them being bad, just that if I couldnt find someone to write one it wasnt a big deal.

Also, I'll be going through as an upperclasswoman (2nd year) and have freinds in most of the sororities, so they do already have a good idea of who I am. I have a good lead on a rec for one of the chapters, but the others are proving tricky. Should I just take the one, or should I give up on all of them?

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by agzg

At my undergrad you'd be looked at like you were trying too hard if you have people sending in recs. My organization's legacy introduction form was the only form I saw as a collegian. This is particularly true of non-competitive, northern deferred recruitment, because if the school is small enough chances are sorority members already know a fair amount about you before you go through recruitment (including any salacious details, true or not, about who you slept with that's a member of what fraternity/campus organization).

Originally Posted by Meow190

I go to exactly this sort of school, and I've been told that I dont NEED recs, but the girl I was talking to never said anything about having them being bad, just that if I couldnt find someone to write one it wasnt a big deal.

Also, I'll be going through as an upperclasswoman (2nd year) and have freinds in most of the sororities, so they do already have a good idea of who I am. I have a good lead on a rec for one of the chapters, but the others are proving tricky. Should I just take the one, or should I give up on all of them?

I know that the sisters at my school (one that was described by agzg to a tee) wouldn't know what to do with a rec. If you have good friends in some of the chapters, ask them what they would suggest. Ask them about their personal experiences when they were in recruitment, whether or not they had recs, and how influential they really are (without asking for membership selection details).

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Meow190

I go to exactly this sort of school, and I've been told that I don't NEED recs, but the girl I was talking to never said anything about having them being bad, just that if I couldnt find someone to write one it wasnt a big deal.

Also, I'll be going through as an upperclasswoman (2nd year) and have freinds in most of the sororities, so they do already have a good idea of who I am. I have a good lead on a rec for one of the chapters, but the others are proving tricky. Should I just take the one, or should I give up on all of them?

We got one rec the whole time I was in school and we were just kind of clueless as to what to do with it - we didn't think it was a negative though. The girl ended up pledging elsewhere anyway. Take the one rec that was offered to you, but don't break your back trying to get one for every group or freak out if you can't.

[agzg]

I'm not talking about having a rec or two that was offered to you, I mean having one or more to EVERY chapter and getting really stressed out about it.

[Smile_Awhile]

A bit off topic, but I noticed some posts mentioning that there must be a rec in place for a PNM to be extended a bid. This may venture into MS for some groups, so if it does, I understand that I can't know. But is this required by some sororities? Or is it only for larger chapters at bigger schools?

Personally, my chapter wouldn't know what to do with a rec. We might have seen one or two,and I know we've seen legacy introductions, but other than that it just doesn't happen.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Smile_Awhile

A bit off topic, but I noticed some posts mentioning that there must be a rec in place for a PNM to be extended a bid. This may venture into MS for some groups, so if it does, I understand that I can't know. But is this required by some sororities? Or is it only for larger chapters at bigger schools?

Personally, my chapter wouldn't know what to do with a rec. We might have seen one or two,and I know we've seen legacy introductions, but other than that it just doesn't happen.

I believe this depends on the sorority. Certain NPCs do have a policy stating that a PNM much have a rec to be extended a bid. We talked about this on GC before but I can't recall which groups.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lsuchicka

I have a question:

I am about to be a sophomore at LSU. I rushed last year w/o any recs and got cut from all but one bottom-tier house. I was close-minded and decided to drop out after bid day. Although it is late in the summer, I have just begun to consider possibly rushing again. I only know a couple of girls from two houses so I really don't have any great connections. Honestly, would I be wasting my time? I really don't want to go through rush again only to be rejected.

From what I know about LSU, if you are planning on rushing, you are behind in getting recs.

Then there's the fact that you are a sophomore, and sophomores tend to be at a disadvantage compared to freshmen.

Also, if you were cut heaviily last year, as a sophomore, your chances don't generally improve.

Only YOU can determine whether this is worth it for you, but you'll be fighting an uphill battle if you are trying to get recs at almost mid July.

Clarification: did you GET a bid and decline it or drop out before recruitment was over?

[33girl]

I would not rush again. You got only got one bid to begin with, and started pledging that group and dropped out. Unless they are under intense numbers pressure (by which I mean, they're in danger of losing their charter unless they attain quota and total this rush and have horrible return rates) it is very, very doubtful they'll give you another bid. Especially if you didn't stay in contact with any of the sisters.

It's unfortunate, but consider it a lesson learned and look into other things you can get involved in at LSU.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I would not rush again. It's unfortunate, but consider it a lesson learned and look into other things you can get involved in at LSU.

True.

At a school like LSU, if you get a bid, it's best to take it because it's most likely your only shot a being Greek. Your chances do NOT improve the following year.

[lsuchicka]

Thanks- that definately confirmed what I was thinking.

[futuregreek?]

Well, I'm a PNM and I'm here with a question.
I've been thinking about rushing for about two years now and have decided to go through formal recruitment this fall. Through all of my greek chat lurking, the biggest thing I've learned besided recs is to KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
As I looked through all of the websites and attended a pre-recruitment event at my college, I have always tried to make sure at least half of the houses were on my "I can see myself there" list. But, I recently met with an alum (an incredible woman that I've looked up to for the past three years) of one of the houses on the top half on my list. Now, I'm afraid that I like one house more than the rest. I know this is bad, and am well aware that this opinion might change when I begin meeting girls during the open house round. However, I don't know how to keep this favoritism in check for the month leading up to recruitment.

It appears that when "researching" houses, it is inevitable that a PNM will end up with some sort of mental ranking no matter how hard they try not to, so how can other PNM's and myself keep these ranks in check? It is practically impossible to unthink something that you've been thinking about so frequently. How can I restore my "open mind"?

[ThetaDancer]

Originally Posted by futuregreek?

Well, I'm a PNM and I'm here with a question.
I've been thinking about rushing for about two years now and have decided to go through formal recruitment this fall. Through all of my greek chat lurking, the biggest thing I've learned besided recs is to KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
As I looked through all of the websites and attended a pre-recruitment event at my college, I have always tried to make sure at least half of the houses were on my "I can see myself there" list. But, I recently met with an alum (an incredible woman that I've looked up to for the past three years) of one of the houses on the top half on my list. Now, I'm afraid that I like one house more than the rest. I know this is bad, and am well aware that this opinion might change when I begin meeting girls during the open house round. However, I don't know how to keep this favoritism in check for the month leading up to recruitment.

It appears that when "researching" houses, it is inevitable that a PNM will end up with some sort of mental ranking no matter how hard they try not to, so how can other PNM's and myself keep these ranks in check? It is practically impossible to unthink something that you've been thinking about so frequently. How can I restore my "open mind"?

I think it's natural to have some preferences. I think the most important thing is to try to not get yourself so set in stone on one or two chapters, that you disregard other chapters right off the bat or that you give up on recruitment completely if things don't work out with one of your "favorite" chapters. The fact that you're "well aware that this opinion might change" is a good sign, because it means you are open to seeing what every organization has to offer.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by futuregreek?

Well, I'm a PNM and I'm here with a question.
I've been thinking about rushing for about two years now and have decided to go through formal recruitment this fall. Through all of my greek chat lurking, the biggest thing I've learned besided recs is to KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
As I looked through all of the websites and attended a pre-recruitment event at my college, I have always tried to make sure at least half of the houses were on my "I can see myself there" list. But, I recently met with an alum (an incredible woman that I've looked up to for the past three years) of one of the houses on the top half on my list. Now, I'm afraid that I like one house more than the rest. I know this is bad, and am well aware that this opinion might change when I begin meeting girls during the open house round. However, I don't know how to keep this favoritism in check for the month leading up to recruitment.

It appears that when "researching" houses, it is inevitable that a PNM will end up with some sort of mental ranking no matter how hard they try not to, so how can other PNM's and myself keep these ranks in check? It is practically impossible to unthink something that you've been thinking about so frequently. How can I restore my "open mind"?

It's pretty natural for PNMs to have favorites. As much as we advise them not to, it's bound to happen.

Just try not to get to the point of thinking that you love a house so much (without actually meeting anyone in it) that you would drop out of recruitment or something if you didn't get it.

I just tell girls to keep in the back of their minds that it's important to be open minded because ANY of your faves could cut you at any point in the process.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by futuregreek?

Well, I'm a PNM and I'm here with a question.
I've been thinking about rushing for about two years now and have decided to go through formal recruitment this fall. Through all of my greek chat lurking, the biggest thing I've learned besided recs is to KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
As I looked through all of the websites and attended a pre-recruitment event at my college, I have always tried to make sure at least half of the houses were on my "I can see myself there" list. But, I recently met with an alum (an incredible woman that I've looked up to for the past three years) of one of the houses on the top half on my list. Now, I'm afraid that I like one house more than the rest. I know this is bad, and am well aware that this opinion might change when I begin meeting girls during the open house round. However, I don't know how to keep this favoritism in check for the month leading up to recruitment.

It appears that when "researching" houses, it is inevitable that a PNM will end up with some sort of mental ranking no matter how hard they try not to, so how can other PNM's and myself keep these ranks in check? It is practically impossible to unthink something that you've been thinking about so frequently. How can I restore my "open mind"?

It's natural to like certain chapters better than others. I don't think that's what is meant by "keep an open mind." Keeping an open mind simply means to give all of the chapters a chance. Some people openly admit to wanting to avoid talking to girls of a chapter because they're "not worth their time." And others here have seen the eye-rolling and lack of participation by PNMs who couldn't be bothered by such a "low-tier" chapter. (Just the word "tier" drives me crazy, btw).

Basically, just don't get your hopes up on one chapter, especially before recruitment has even started, because there's a good chance you might not end up there. Remember that recruitment is a MUTUAL SELECTION PROCESS and the last thing you would want is to be in a chapter that doesn't want you.

Also keep in mind that the woman that you look up to so much is an alumna of her sorority. While it would be great to be her sister, she won't be the one living in the house, staying up late talking with you, building homecoming floats, participating in philanthropies, competing with you during Greek Week, etc. The active sisters are the ones that you really want to click with.

Keeping all this in mind... Have fun