Should we change the way PNMs think of Recruitment?

[clemsongirl]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Just to touch on one of melindawarren's comments, I think that the concept of a girl not being a fit for a chapter specifically, but not being a fit for the school IN GENERAL happens a lot more than people realize. If you've busted your butt getting into your "dream school" and get there and it doesn't feel right, it might be easier to blame it on a bad rush result.

Ooh, this made me think. Sometimes I think going through rush at a school you're iffy on is like having a baby to make a relationship work-you're committing yourself to something much more permanent and odds are the inevitable "breakup", so to speak, will be much messier than if you'd separated sooner. Few things evoke more sympathy from me than a student going through recruitment at a school they may not stay at, getting a bid and getting initiated, then transferring to a place with no chapter and being completely disconnected from the undergraduate Greek experience around them.

[1964Alum]

It is important for EVERY PNM to remember, starting before recruitment even begins, that it is the sororities that give the invitations to each and every party, not the PNM! It doesn't matter how much in demand you might be. Or think you might be. What DOES matter is that you remain humble and appreciative of every invitation you get. As my grandmother used to say, "Asking makes a difference!"

[33girl]

Originally Posted by clemsongirl

Ooh, this made me think. Sometimes I think going through rush at a school you're iffy on is like having a baby to make a relationship work-you're committing yourself to something much more permanent and odds are the inevitable "breakup", so to speak, will be much messier than if you'd separated sooner. Few things evoke more sympathy from me than a student going through recruitment at a school they may not stay at, getting a bid and getting initiated, then transferring to a place with no chapter and being completely disconnected from the undergraduate Greek experience around them.

This is why I hate when one of the rationales used for pre-freshman rush is "it makes you feel at home at the school!" Well yes, it can make things seem smaller & easier to handle (especially at a huge state flagship) but the fact of the matter is, you aren't doing sorority 24/7. You still have to attend large classes. You still have to navigate a campus that may be bigger than your home town. This goes both ways of course - entering a prestigious yet tiny liberal arts school may make people from large high schools chafe at the degree of coziness. And I haven't even touched on hating your major.

But you don't know any of that if you go through rush before you've even had one college class.

[SWTXBelle]

Ah, but if you are in a sorority, you are attending large classes - with your sisters, or with the support of your sisters. You still have to navigate a campus bigger than your hometown - with the help of your sisters. You might hate your major- but you have sisters to commiserate with you. In a way, you ARE "doing sorority" 24/7. You don't get to avoid possible negative experiences - but you get to go through them with the help, support, and knowledge of your chapter.

[FSUZeta]

Hear, hear!

[carnation]

Let's bump this one for 2019! There's some good debating in it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Ah, but if you are in a sorority, you are attending large classes - with your sisters, or with the support of your sisters. You still have to navigate a campus bigger than your hometown - with the help of your sisters. You might hate your major- but you have sisters to commiserate with you. In a way, you ARE "doing sorority" 24/7. You don't get to avoid possible negative experiences - but you get to go through them with the help, support, and knowledge of your chapter.

Oh good, I can finish my thought

Yes, sisters help lessen the bad experiences, but the things I mentioned AREN’T “bad” experiences, they’re just things that are. If you keep saying “well I hate the huge classes (or its flipside, how tiny this school is)/my major/the climate/the surrounding town, but my sorority is 100% awesome!” - I mean, how many things does your GLO have to help you put up with? How much freight does it have to carry? Maybe sometimes it is just getting used to a new environment, but a lot of times that school is just NOT for you.

I would hate to feel “trapped” in a school that I otherwise hated simply because of my devotion to my sisters.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I also wonder if it hurts the weaker chapters that the top X number are all #1, and then the "back-ups" are ranked. Basically, the PNM's have to think about which chapters they like the least, but not which chapters they like the best. It's subtle, but I think that it makes PNM's really focus on the bad.

I see the point and guess it would be better to tell them to give each one a number rank, but when we’re talking about schools with 16+ chapters that would be a head spinning nightmare.

Originally Posted by ellebud

I think that so much depends on the individual. The Reluctant One was/is very secure. She truly didn't care about the tiers. She ranked several top houses below a top three house

BUT there are those young women (one of whom I wrote about in my story so many years ago) for whom it is top tier or out. I think that it would be very interesting to see statistics on who drops out of recruitment and when....at the end...after a top 3 non invitation...or do the pnms "stick it out"?

I wish that it could/should be stressed that you will have a social life. You will make friends...whatever house you join or don't join. A friend of one of my kids makes a fabulous presentation. She's gorgeous. She dresses amazingly well. She is from a well placed family. And for an hour she can hold it together: she is the biggest dork in the world.

She is a smart dork. She pledged a "low tier" house. Her rho chi was baffled. The girl knew herself.

Unfortunately not everyone has that knowledge the minute they step on campus. Going through rush as a sophomore, the dismissive attitude of the “top” chapter on my campus just made me laugh to myself at how much they were conforming to stereotype. Had I experienced it as a brand-new freshman, it would have devastated me.